O
oats n.A portion (qv) which you get during sex.
oil the bat v. Polish the pork sword; lubricate the lamb canon.
off your face adj. Shitfaced.
off your trolley adj. Hatstand; mental.
olivia v. To have sex with several filthy tramps on a piss stained
mattress, all at once.
oil the truncheon v. To buff up the bobbies helmet; collect
kindling; wank.
old holborn n. The frayed edges of the velcro triangle (qv);
a pant moustache (qv). See also spiders legs.
old man n. Penis. As in “The old man’s been out of work for
six months. Most days we play pocket billiards (qv) to keep him
occupied”. Also old fella.
onanism (oh-nuh-nism) n. 1. Incomplete sexual
intercourse. 2. A posh word what the Queen might use for wanking and that.
one cheek sneak n. The stealthy approach to shooting bunnies
(qv). From a sitting position, lifting one buttock in order to slide out
an aurally undetected air biscuit (qv). See also cushion
creeper, leg lifter.
one-eyed trouser snake n. Gentleman’s pant python; sex serpent;
cock.
one-eyed Willie n. Penis.
one-eyed Willie’s eye patch n. Condom; English overcoat.
one n. A non-specific unit of sex “given” to a woman by a man.
See also portion.
one eyed trouser snake See one eyed pant python.
one eyed pant python See one eyed zipper fish
one eyed zipper fish See Cyclops.
one handed mag n. Jazz magazine; rhythm read; art pamphlet; porny
periodical.
one holed flute See bed flute.
one in the pump, to have v. To have the hots for a female. As in
“Phoar! I’ve got one in the pump for her, I can tell you”. Drinking
parlance for a pint paid for but not yet poured.
one off the wrist v. Five knuckle shuffle; wank; hand shandy.
on the bonk adj. Sergeant Sausage when standing to attention.
on the blob adj. Riding the menstrual cycle; having the painters
in; flags are out.
on the hoy adj. On the piss; on the razz; hoying it doon ya neck,
and then back up again.
on the job adj. At it (qv). Busying oneself with the
partner’s plumbing.
on the other bus adj. Homosexual; bowling from the Pavilion end.
on the pull adj. Fishing for kipper (qv).
on the salmon See salmon.
on the slipway adj. Of stools and stool movement, to have the turtles
head (qv). As in “Get out of that fucking bathroom will you, I’ve got
one on the slipway”.
on the sniff See on the pull.
on the tap See oot on the tap.
oomph! n. Sex appeal, as in “By crikey, she’s got some
oomph!”
oot on the tap adj. Out on the pull (qv), as opposed to on
the hoy (qv).
open your lunchbox v. To float an air biscuit (qv) reminiscent
of yesterday’s egg sandwiches in odour.
orchestras rhym. slang Orchestra stalls - balls.
orgasm See fanny bomb, ring the bell, shoot your load,
chuck your muck.
Oscar n. US Dick; penis.
other, a bit of the See hanky panky.
otter’s nose n. When getting fingers and tops (qv),
that which is felt by the former. As in “I got a result last night. I touched
the otter’s nose”.
over the shoulder boulder holder n.
Industrial bra; heavy lifting apparatus for jelly water mangoes (qv).
owner operator n. Wanker; a knight who wields his pork sword
for pleasure, not for the benefit of fair maidens.
own up v. In a breaking company (qv) situation, to identify
oneself as the benefactor (qv).
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