L
lab kebab n. abbr. Labia kebab. Vertical bacon sandwich;
fur burger.
labia lard See fanny batter.
labrador lipstick n. Stalk; erection.
lace curtain n. Kojak’s roll-neck (qv).
Lady Chalk of Billingsgate n. Thrush; infection of the vagina. As
in “I regret to announce that Lady Chalk of Billingsgate is visiting at this
present time”.
Lake Wendouree n. Aus. Ejaculation, e.g. “Oh my God... Uuughh!
I’m in Lake Wendouree!” From the lake at Ballarat (qv) Australia.
langball n. Type of dangleberry (qv) which attaches
itself to John Wayne’s hairy saddlebags (qv).
langer n. Penis.
langered See lathered.
lamb cannon n. An arms development dating somewhere between the mutton
musket (qv) and the bacon bazooka (qv).
lapper n. Pink oboe (qv) virtuoso; hairy pie eater.
lash on, get a bit v. To find some female company. As in “Howay,
let’s gan oot an’ get a bit lash on”.
last meat supper n. Final fling before marriage. It’s all fish
suppers (qv) thereafter.
lathered adj. Pissed; plastered; palatic.
launch your lunch v. To laugh liquidly. See liquid laughter.
lavatory n. Smallest room; little house; loo; water closet;
convenience; place of easement; shithouse; crapper; privy; bog; latrine;
cackatorium; temple of cloacina; toilet; kharzi; thunder box; comfort station.
lavender n. Male homosexual.
lavender marriage n. Any matrimonial coupling about which there is
a whiff of lavender (qv).
lay n. Prospective or past sexual partner. As in “I knew your
wife many years ago. She was a terrific lay”.
lay a cable v. Build a log cabin; grow a tail; drop a copper bolt.
See also cable laying.
lay-and-display n. A type of European lavatory where the stool
lands on a dry porcelain surface prior to being flushed away.
lazy lob on n. Semi erect penis; dobber.
lead in your pencil, to have adj. To be with big beef olive rather
than loose sausage meat (qv).
lead the llama to the lift shaft v. Point Percy at the vagina.
leg lifter n. Benefactor (qv). Somebody who breaks
company (qv).
leg man n. He who prefers legs to tits or arses.
leg over n. A sausage and donut situation (qv). As
in “Did you get your leg over?” “No, but I got tops and three fingers”.
left-footer n. Gay or catholic person, but ideally one who is
both.
left the lid off the glue-pot v. To smell of spunk. As in “Poo!
Someone’s left the lid off the gluepot”.
length n. A vague unit of sex, as is often “slipped” to a
woman by a man. See also one.
Leo Sayer rhym. slang All dayer. Bender; prolonged drinking session;
all day party.
lepidopterist n. Person who collects butterflies e.g. Val Doonican.
lesbiany (lez-bee-uh-nee) adj. Appertaining to
lesbianism. For example, in a rub-a-tug shop (qv) one might enquire
“Any chance of you and your mate doing something lesbiany?”
lesbo n. Tuppence licker; bean flicker; carpet muncher;
lickalotapus; dyke.
let off v. To fart; blow off; launch an air biscuit.
let one go v. The pre-planned release of a fart into the wild.
let Percy in the playpen n. Consent to intercourse; allow Percy
(qv) into the tunnel for a shunt.
let rip v. Fart; blast off.
lettuce n. Piss flaps.
lettuce licker n. Lesbian; bean flicker; tuppence licker.
lezza See lesbo.
lezzo boots n. Any clumpy, unfeminine footwear worn by women. The
opposite of fuck me shoes.
lickalotopus n. Scientific name for a tuppence licker (qv)
of prehistoric reptilian proportions.
lick both sides of the stamp v. To drive on both sides of the
road; travel on both buses; AD/DC.
lid n. Bit above the brim (qv).
lifting the cheek v. The sly behaviour of a cushion creeper
(qv).
lils n. 1950s/60s Tits.
lingam n. Ancient Hindu Penis. One of a pair, the other being yoni
(qv).
lip reading v. Observing women in tight pants who have the camel’s
foot (qv). As in “If she bends over any more I’ll be able to read her
lips from here”. See also Twix lips, mumblers.
lip ring n. A lipstick line around the pork sword (qv)
showing how far it has been swallowed.
lipstick lesbian n. Glamorous, feminine female homosexual, as
found on the adult channel but rarely down the pub.
liquid laughter n. Puke; psychedelic yodelling.
little death n. French In a male, the post bonk feeling of shagged
outity.
living in the Pavilion v. Intensifier of bowling from the
Pavilion end (qv). As in “He doesn’t bowl from the Pavilion end, mate.
That one lives in the fucking Pavilion”.
lobcock n. A large, flaccid penis such as could be lobbed onto a
pub table by its drunken owner.
log n. Bum cigar; brown trout.
log cabin See build a log cabin.
loon pipe n. Anus.
loop the loop v. To order a vertical bacon sandwich (qv) to
eat out and a drink on a stick (qv) for the lady; No.69 on the
menu.
loose at the hilt adj. To have diarrhoea; crop spray (qv).
loose sausage meat n. Flaccid penis which cannot be funnelled into
a condom. As in “Sorry love, my sausage meat seems a bit loose”. See also stuffing
the marshmallow.
lose your manners v. To fart.
lose your mess v. Ejaculate; shoot your load.
lotties n. Breasts.
love bumps n. Funbags; guns of Navarone.
love juice n. That liquid produced in the Billingsgate box (qv)
upon which the skin boat (qv) sails. Often referred to as luv
jooz in 1970s scud literature.
love palace n. That magical place which lies within the palace
gates (qv).
love socket n. Vagina; entry point for the main cable (qv).
Also rocket socket, serpent socket, spam socket.
love puff n. Gentle air biscuit (qv) launched in the
direction of your partner in bed, often the morning after a curry, in an attempt
to cement the intimacy of the moment. See also Dutch oven.
love sausage n. Banger served with love spuds (qv).
love spuds n. Root vegetable found in the shreddies (qv).
love torpedo n. Penis. As in: “I sank her bacon battleship with
my purple-hot love torpedo”.
love truncheon See love torpedo.
love tunnel n. That place in which Percy (qv) the small
engine shunts his load.
lucky Pierre n. In botting (qv) circles, the busiest
botting link in a three man bum chain (qv); the filling in a shirt
lifter sandwich.
lunchbox n. In British tabloid journalism, that conspicuous bulge
which appears in athlete Linford Christie’s shorts; packet.
lunchbox lancer n. archaic Mediaeval term for a cocoa
shunter (qv). First used by King Arthur to describe the French army.
In 562 AD he wrote: “Fear not the French, for their knights are without heart,
and their King without wisdom. But keep thine backs as to the wall, for amongst
their number thou shalt find more than a few lunchbox lancers, I can tell
you”.
luncheon truncheon See spam javelin.
lunching at the Lazy Y v. Dining out cowboy style, on hairy pie
(qv), beans and coffee.
lung butter n. Phlegm; green smoking oysters.
lychees n. A sweeter, more exotic knacker-speak alternative to
plums (qv).
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