G
gadzooks! exclam. Corruption of ‘God’s hooks’ (a
reference to nails used in the crucifixion). Once a high ranking swear word, but
now safe to use, even in front of the vicar.
gag v. To vomit; puke; spew.
gagging for it adj. What women are thought to be when viewed through beer
goggles (qv) of higher magnification. Also choking for it.
gak n. Jizz; mess; manfat.
galloping knob rot n. VD; any painful social disease resulting in
the production of gleet (qv) and the pissing of metaphoric tin tacks.
galloping the lizard v. Frenzied use of the wanking spanners
(qv) to take the pant piston into sixth gear (qv). Also galloping
the maggot.
gam v. Common abbreviation of gamahuche.
gamahuche (ga-ma-hoosh) v. The act of cunning your
partner’s lingus. See French.
gammon flaps n. 1. Hole in a farmhouse door through which pigs come
and go at will. 2. Beef curtains (qv). Also known as gammon goalposts.
gang bang n. A bike ride on which a group of males share one
bicycle between them.
garbonzas See gazungas.
Gary Glitter rhym. slang Shitter. Also council gritter.
garlogies n. Knob cheese (qv). See also Helmetdale.
gash 1. n. Vulva. Conveniently rhymes with “Hoy, giz
a flash of your...” 2. n. Plural of females; totty; blit; bush;
talent.
gazoo n. Arse; bum.
gazunda . gozunda n. Potty; chamber pot.
gazungas See Gert Stonkers.
gay adj. Limp of wrist; tending to ask others to shut doors;
critical of the “dust in here”.
geek n. Freak.
geeze bag n. Wind bag; fart pants; prolific pump artist.
gender bender n. Effeminate, flowery male of indeterminate or
obscure sexual orientation, e.g. Marc Almond out of Soft Cell.
genitalia failure n. To suffer loose sausage meat (qv),
brewer’s droop; marshmallowing of the love muscle.
genital floss n. Skimpy bikini bottom. See also banana hammock.
gentleman’s relish n. A polite term for jizz (qv), such
as what might be used by society folk at a tea party.
George v. US Roger.
German n. Water sports (qv). Compare talk German.
gertie n. 1. Fanny; minge. 2. collective Women; blart. As
in “Let’s gan oot an’ gerrus a bit o’ gertie”.
Gert Stonkers See gon-zagas.
get n. Bastard; twat. Often applied to children, prefixed “You
cheeky little...” and accompanied by a swipe to the back of the head.
get a click v. To score; pull; tap off, with a view to getting
boots (qv).
get boots v. US To get it on (qv); get your end away.
get it on v. To get off , get it up (qv) and get your oats.
get it up v. A significant part of getting your end away after getting
off (qv).
get off teenage v. Get a click; first step towards getting your
oats (qv).
get off at Edge Hill v. Coitus interruptus; withdrawal before
ejaculation. Edge Hill is the last station before Liverpool Lime St. Also
Edinburgh Haymarket, Newcastle Gateshead, Leeds Marsh Lane
etc.
get up them stairs v. The cry from a chauvinist male to his wife
which indicates that he has finished eating, drinking and watching football, and
now wishes to retire to the bedroom to make an ungainly and flatulent attempt at
sexual intercourse.
get wood v. The opposite of getting loose sausage meat (qv).
Also get string.
get your oats See get your end away.
get your end away See get it on.
ghost shit n. Stool or dump of which there is no trace when
you stand up and turn round to admire it. Compare crowd pleaser.
gib v. 1. To bullshit. 2. To gate crash. 3. To stick your old
man (qv) up a chickens arse and slam its head in a draw. See also donkey
punch.
gibbon gristle n. Penis.
gick n. Eire Shit.
gigglers n. Suspender belt. “Get past there and you’re
laughing”. Also giggle band.
giggling pin n. Penis.
gimp n. Physically inferior person; he or she of low esteem; cross
between a wimp and a git, sort of thing.
ginger beer rhym. slang Willie Woofter.
gink n. Geek; short sighted man in a cheque suit and bowler hat.
give Ronaldo a rub down v. Celebrity slaphead wanking terminology.
See also Strangle Kojak, take Captain Pickard to warp speed, Spurt
Reynolds.
give the dog a bone v. To sexually satisfy a female. Also give
the cat a goldfish.
glaze a knuckle v. To wank.
gleet n. Unpleasant mucropurelent discharge caused by gonorrhoea.
glob v. To emit viscous fluid slowly and rhythmically, especially gloy
(qv) or similar substances.
glory hole n. US Of cottage (qv) plumbing, that hole made
by bosching (qv), through which fudge packing pipes may be passed.
glory wipe n. The token arse wipe required after passing one of
those rare but pleasant stools which slip out clean as a whistle leaving hardly
a trace of Eartha Kitt (qv) on or around the balloon knot (qv).
Compare ghost shit, crowd pleaser.
Gloy n. Mess; semen. From the paper glue once used in
schools. As in “Oops, I think I’ve just trod on the Gloy bottle”.
glue gun See goo gun.
gob 1. n. North and South. 2. v. To spit; hockle. 3. n.
A body of lung butter (qv) so propelled.
gob job See blow job.
gobble n. Noise made by turkeys.
gobshite n. Scouse Someone who talks crap, like Liverpudlian hotel
staff on fly-on-the-wall TV shows.
going down 1. What a bird does “on you” prior to giving you head
(qv). 2. An expression often used to describe the imminent movement of a
lift.
goit n. Geek; gork; gink; gonk. Another versatile ‘g’ insult.
golden shower n. A vile sex act; unfortunate mix-up in a crowded
German bathroom. See also water sports.
golden rivet n. HMF Navy Freckle; the apple of the captain’s
(qv) eye for sailors who polish the other end of the deck.
gonad glue See Gloy, Aphrodite’s Evostick.
gonk n. In rub-a-tug shops (qv) a customer; trick;
John; a punter.
gonzagas See Guns of Nav-arone.
good afternoons n. South African How Sowetans greet a
prominent Francis (qv).
goo gun n. Your pocket paste dispenser; jizz stick.
goolies n. The colloquialism for testicles least likely to offend
a grandparent.
goose v. To tickle a sexually sensitive area, e.g. the arse. orig.
To copulate.
gorblimey n. A type of trousers popular among council tenants in
the 1950s.
gorilla salad n. Pubic hair. Compare gibbon gristle.
grape smugglers n. Tight gentlemen’s briefs, as worn by porno
stars in the 1970s.
Greek n. The French (qv) suck it, the Dutch (qv)
make a sausage sandwich (qv) with it, but the Greek supposedly prefer to
dip it in chocolate sauce.
Greek sauna See Dutch oven.
grime bubble n. Fart; air biscuit.
grind v. To have sex; copulate. From the older descriptive term
bump and grind.
grin like a wanking Jap sim. To grin broadly, as a Nissan
executive might do as he turned (even more) Japanese (qv)
as he neared the vinegar strokes (qv) on his approach to the Billy
Mill roundabout (qv).
gristle thistle n. Persistent purple headed weed commonly
occurring in moss cottage (qv) gardens.
groaner n. A turd so big that it cannot be expelled without
vocal assistance. See also ‘U’ blocker.
grogan n. Scot. A log; turd.
grommet n. 1950s Totty.
grow a tail v. To defecate; build a log cabin.
growl at the badger v. To noisily scoff the hairy pie (qv).
grub See biffin.
grumble rhym. slang Cunt; quaynt; placket; Berkeley. From
‘grumble and grunt’.
grundle n. US Barse (qv).
grunties n. Jobbies; faeces.
grunts n. The type of ugly bints (qv) whose blurred
Polaroid pictures appear on reader’s wives pages.
gubbed adj. Trousered; wankered.
guck See gunk.
guard’s van n. Of pulling a train (qv), the least
desirable position in the queue. As in: “Bagsy I’m not in the
guard’s van fellas”. The last gang bangister on the bike.
guff v. To fart; let off.
guff cloud n. The noxious vapour produced by guffing.
guided muscle n. Penis. See also meat seeking pissile.
gums around the plums, get your v. Amorous suggestion made
frivolously by a male to a female.
guns of Navarone n. Whoppers; tits; large breasts.
gurgler n. Toilet; shite pipe; drain. As in “Have you got a coat
hanger? I was spewin’ up last night an’ I coughed me fuckin’ falsies down
the gurgler”.
gurk v. 1. To burp. 2. Aus. To fart.
gusset typist n. A woman who wanks. Also gusset pianist. As
in “I’ve heard she plays the gusset piano”.
gusset nuzzler n. Fanny nosher; lesbian.
gusset sugar n. A more romantic euphemism than muffdruff (qv) but
essentially the same thing.
gut grunt n. A burbulent (qv) rumbling, or any subsequent
anal emission.
gypsies (kiss) rhym. slang Piss.
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