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aardvark v. US To shag; bonk; go horizontal jogging.
a bit n. Some of the other (qv), but not necessarily an
entire portion (qv).
ACAB All Coppers Are Bastards. Popular forehead tattoo.
acorn n. That little bell end(qv) from which tall
oaks grow... when you get wood (qv).
Admiral Browning n. Chocolate log; that which sinks the
Bismarck (qv).
afterburner n. Of farts and farting, a pyroflatulatory anal
announcement; blue streak (qv).
aim Archie at the Armitage euph. Urinate. Also point Percy
at the porcelain.
air bags n. Breasts.
air biscuit n. Fart; botty burp. Floating body of trouser gas. As
in “Could you open a window. I think somebody has launched an air biscuit”.
air your guts v. To puke.
airing the orchid v. Beating about the bush; gusset typing (qv).
(Orchid is also Greek for testicle).
almond n. 1. rhyming slang Penis; cock. From ‘almond
rock’. 2. Original rhyming slang Socks. 3. An imperial measure
of semen, approximately one stomach full.
almond flakes See mammary dandruff.
anal announcement n. Rasping noise made by the play of
noxious air through the sphincter; fart; chuff; beef; trouser trumpet; anal
exhalation.
angel n. Pillow biter; passive male homosexual. See also sponge.
anus n. Doctor-speak for the council gritter (qv).
apache n. 1. Sex without a condom; riding bare back. 2. Popular
hit by sixties guitar combo The Shadows.
apeshit adj. Mental; ballistic; doolally.
Aphrodite’s Evostick n. Semen; human bonding fluid. See also Gloy,
glue gun.
apple catchers n. Generously proportioned knickers for the fuller
figure.
aris n. Convoluted cockney rhyming slang for arse. From Aristotle
- bottle - bottle and “glarse” - arse.
around the world n. 1. Rub-a-tug shop (qv) equivalent of a
sugar cone double 99 with raspberry sauce and hundreds and thousands. 2. Aus.
Licking the rim (qv).
arse 1. n. Once the official term for the Gary Glitter
(qv), now replaced by anus. 2. exclam. A negative reply, expressing
denial. As in “Did you steal my pencil?” “Did I arse”.
arsecons n. Of information technology, those computer keyboard
symbols used illustratively to indicate the condition of an arse. e.g. Normal
arse (_!_) Lard arse (__!__) Tight arse (!) Sore arse (_*_) Slack arse (_o_)
etc.
arse-feta n. That inedible cheese(qv) matured in the
narrow passage leading to Cadbury alley (qv).
arse-grapes n. Descriptive term for Nobbies(qv);
haemorrhoids.
arse-piss n. Diarrhoea; rusty water; anal fire water; Jap flag
juice.
arseholed adj. Intoxicated; shit-faced; rat-arsed; blotto; having
partaken in an excess of wallop (qv).
arse man n. He who prefers arses to legs or tits.
Arsenal are at home euph. Nick Hornby’s bird is chasing the
cotton mouse; has the painters in, etc. Arsenal can be replaced by any football
team who play in red. Scotland Aberdeen etc.
arse wipe n. Toe rag; menial person.
artichoke n. Aus. Ugly slapper; wrinkly boot.
articulate the archdea-con See bash the bishop.
art pamphlet n. A jazz or scud magazine; one handed reading
material.
ass n. US That part of the body the whooping of which indicates a
comprehensive victory, and of which the invitation to kiss is often made
rhetorically.
assets n. Of British tabloid journalism, a girl’s breasts.
at it adj. Engaged in copulation. The use of this term is
restricted to disapproving neighbours. As in “Tssch. Sounds like those two
next door are at it again”.
audition the finger puppets v. Shuffling the Kit-Kat. See Kit-Kat
shuffler.
auntie n. Old quean (qv).
aunt Mary n. Vagina. (Not to be confused with auntie or Mary).
aunty’s round euph. girlspeak A visit which, not unlike having
the painters in, can affect a girl’s social life. As in “Sorry love, not
today. Aunty’s round. But I can play tennis if you like”.
awaken the bacon v. Sexually arouse the male; stimulate the penis;
polish the pork sword (qv).
axe wound n. Also hairy axe wound. That central vertical
division in a ladies box (qv); gash; vulva.
Aztec two-step n. Diarrhoea dance along the lines of the Tijuana
cha-cha. Also Turkish two-step.
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