J
jack off v. Whack off; choke the chicken; jerk the gherk-in.
Compare jill off.
jack roll n. 1. S. African Gang bang. 2. US
Mugging.
jacked up adj. To be celibate whilst suffering from a venereal
disease.
jack shit n. Bugger all; sweet FA; zero; zilch.
jacksie n. Polite word for arse, especially in the recep
recepticular context. e.g. “You can stick your fucking parking ticket up your
jacksie, mate. I’m not paying”.
jacksie rabbit n. Muddy funster; Hershey highwayman.
jack the beanstalk See jiggle the jewellery.
jail bait n. Worms dug up by tunnelling prisoners and later,
after their escape, used for fishing.
jake n. 1. Proud monument erected in the memory of a nice pair of
knockers you once saw, or a notable scene from a blue movie. 2. Scot.
Ugly woman.
jamboree bags n. Funbags (qv).
jammer n. Jamaican Pud. See also wind jammer.
jam rag n. Tampon.
jam raid n. Crimson tidal movement which leaves tuna town (qv) inaccessible
by skin boat (qv) at certain times of the month.
Jane n. Primarily a ladies lavatory, but being the opposite of John
(qv) in all senses.
jang n. Dong.
Japanese flag n. Appearance of the arsehole when blighted by ring
sting (qv). As in: “Aaagh! Ooyah! I’m sitting on a Japanese flag”.
Jap’s eye n. Male urethral opening; hog’s eye.
jarred adj. Pissed; sloshed; wankered.
J. Arthur (Rank) rhym. slang Wank. For example, while
watching blue movies Jonathon Ross might say: “Phwwoar! What I weally
want wight now is a quick J. Arfur”.
jazz n. 1. Fadge; mott. 2. Sex; intercourse.
jazz mag n. Printed volume of pornographic material;
gentleman’s interest journal.
JB See Jodrell.
jelly hammock See drip tray.
jelly roll n. US 1. Fanny; muff; totty. 2. Sex; roll in the hay.
jelly water mangoes n. Large knockers; gazunkas.
Jenny n. US Boris; minge.
jerk n. Stupid, dim or dull person.
jerk off See jack off.
jerkin’ the gherkin v. Masturbatory variation on the rhyme plus
cucumber/cock similarity theme.
jerkwad n. US Tosser; fuckwit; wankipants. Adaptable insult,
literally a ‘masturbation bundle’.
jewels See family jewels.
jig-a-jig n. It (qv); jiggery pokery.
jigger 18thC n. That tool with which a man commits jiggery
pokery (qv).
jiggered adj. Buggered; knackered; shagged out; jiggery poked.
jiggery pokery n. Shennanigans; ambiguous sexual goings on. As in
“I’ll have no jiggery pokery going on under my roof”.
jiggle the jewellery v. See jerkin the gherkin.
Jill off v. Female equivalent of Jack off (qv); paddle the
pink canoe. Until it leaks.
Jimmy Riddle rhym. slang Vicar friendly term for a piddle.
jism n. Semen. Also gism, jissom, jizz, jizzom.
jit gel n. US The contents of a used condom once it has
floated across the Atlantic.
jit gel rag n. US Any available object on which you wipe your cock
after sex, e.g. tissues, T shirt, underpants, curtains.
jittler n. Helmet cheese.
jizz abbr. n. Jism; thp-unk. v. To shoot your load;
come; ejaculate.
jizzbags n. Scrotum; John Wayne’s hairy saddlebags.
jizz jar n. Girlfriend. Probably considered derogatory, although
you’d think they’d take it as a compliment.
Joan Collins’ knickers See tart’s window box.
job n. A Richard (qv). See also on the job.
jobby, a big Scotch Job.
jobby jouster n. A lunchbox lancer who jousts with another man’s
jobs (qv).
jockies rhym. slang Nipples. Jockies whips - nips.
Jodrell (Bank) rhym. slang J. Arthur Rank (qv). From the
Knuts... fnarr fnarr! (qv) ...ford space research centre.
John n. Percy, Willie etc. See also John Thomas.
John, a n. In prostitution, a client; Hillman Hunter.
John, the n. Toilet.
Johnny See rubber Johnny.
John Thomas n. The pet name by which Lady Chatterley’s lover
(horizontal gardener Mellor) referred to his pink hoe in the
controversial steamy novel by Harry Worth.
John Wayne’s hairy saddlebags See hairy saddlebags.
joombye (joom-bee) n. Scot. Jism; jizz; McSpunk.
josser n. 19thC Fuckwit or parasite. The ideal name for someone
who is both.
joystick n. Of choppers (qv), the cockpit instrument or knob
(qv) which gets throttled; trouser toy; pant plaything.
jubblies n. Breasts; funbags; pink pouffes. Sometimes “wubbly”
jubblies.
jubnuts n. Bead curtains; dangleberries; dags.
jugs n. Female breasts. As in: “Pardon me madam, I was just
admiring your lovely pair of jugs”.
Julf acronym Jumped up little fucker; pushy twat.
junior n. US Penis, usually used in reference to one’s own.
jump v. To have sex. Also jump someone’s bones. e.g. “I
feel like jumping on some bones tonight”.
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