JenniferD:

Rule #1: If we don't take care of our customers, someone else will.


This time, it's personal!


Harmless?

Mageth:

When Bushcroft reveals its true plans for America, you have two choices: kiss your free ass goodbye or flee to Canada.

Mageth:

To protect our God-given right to freedom, written material deemed contrary to the policies of the United States Government and its War on Terrorism will no longer be tolerated.

Mageth:

Birds did not evolve from fish, period. Thinking otherwise is contrary to the Christian Principles on which our great Country was founded.

Mageth:

Take note that, to thwart terrorism and protect your rights as an American Citizen, police may no longer require a warrant to bust down your door.

Mageth:

Be aware that, in light of Bush's environmental policy, you may have to move.

Mageth:

In a news conference today, Ashcroft announced that the Administration is working on ways to ban the "Burning Man" festival in the interest of public morals.

Mageth:

If you drop your soap in a prison shower, you may want to roll on the ground and cover your eyes in an attempt to shield yourself from the inevitable.

gravitybow:

If one of your friends falls victim to a chemical attack and begins rolling rapidly down a steep hill, it will be easier to catch him if you ride his twin brother like a horse.

RufusAtticus:

Under the New Patriot Act, it is deemed Unamerican for sissies to get trapped underneath rubble.


Real Americans die by getting sucked into vortexes with fish, fowl, and Biohazard LPs.

gravitybow:

If you catch fire, don't run out into the open. Patriot missiles will lock on to you.


The internet infidels library is off limits until further notice. Government-approved information can be obtained at your local church.

One of the last sane:

Some of your vital organs may mutate until they are far too big for your body.

RufusAtticus:

Remember, kids, sniffing paint can cause you to start your own religion.


Noing is half the battle.

EarlFlynn:

Warning: Swollen to gargantuan size by radiation, the Amazing Colossal Man may attempt to find safe harbour in your apartment complex.

Unsinkable:

In the case of armageddon, curl up into a fetal position and submit to your inevitable fate.


Take the yellow pill, Neo


Remember, if you look at internet porn, God will strike you down. Do not attempt to flee from His Justice.


Do not go to a hospital during a terrorist attack. They will be too busy with rich people. Call someone who cares.


Reggae music may induce vomiting

Manta

...you put your right shoulder in...you put your right shoulder out...ya shake it all about...ya do da hokey pokey .....and...

* collapses in a laughing fit*

anybody seen this thread yet?

Silent Dave:

(Inspired by one of Unsinkable's bits)


At last. Welcome, Neo. As you no doubt have guessed, I am Morpheus.


No. The honor is mine.


Please, come. Sit.


I imagine that right now you're feeling a bit like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole?


I can see it in your eyes.


You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees beacuse he's expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth.


Do you believe in fate, Neo?


I know exactly what you mean!


Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something.

(cont'd . . .)

Silent Dave:

What you know, you can't explain . . . but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life: Something's wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there.


Like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?


Do you want to know what it is?


The Matrix is all around us. Even now, in this very room.


You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.


It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth: that you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born into a prison you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for your mind.


Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself.

Silent Dave:

This is your last chance.


After this, there is no turning back.


You take the blue pill, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.


You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland . . . and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.


Remember, all I'm offering is the truth, nothing more.


Follow me.


Dave

Mediancat:

--If on the highway to hell, for god's sake stop the car!

Rob aka Mediancat