Mediancat:

-- In event of emergency, stroll casually towards the nearest exit.


-- Should your pupils disappear, becoming a bank robber is your only alternative.


-- Do not breakdance under piles of rubble.

-- Rob aka Mediancat

mecca777:

There is evidence to suggest that some terrorist cells are using blind ninjas. Rent the movie Blind Fury in order to gain information about this threat.

livius drusus:

In case of emergency, the parking brake may be used as an adult novelty item.

pz:

After consuming bean burritos, you can avoid the worst of the odors by crawling on the floor.

lisarea:

In the event of a nuclear explosion, drive around it.


Fight the Power.


In the interests of total information awareness, reject obsolete data storage. Only terrorists use non-networked data storage techniques. You're not a terrorist, are you?


The "boom-boxes" so popular among urban youth are terrorist devices. According to your temperament, cower in fear or run away.


Try really hard not to think about it.

Mediancat:

--If you fight the power, the power fights back.


-- Go towards the edge of the light. There is peace and serenity towards the edge of the light.


-- In case of biological attack, amble away slowly.

-- Rob aka Mediancat

oriecat:

A nuclear attack is very bright and may cause you to swerve while driving. Make sure to wear your sunglasses. Safety first!

Icky:

In case of terrorist attack, follow your dick into the nearest whorehouse. Keep the whores on top of you at all times.


If the puzzle pieces of Washington, Vermont, and some Canadian Province begin falling, sit under your two-legged desk.


Think good and hard about spray-painted demonic symbols. It could save your life.


These stairs only go down. If you meet someone coming up these stairs, stick the handy red arrow through their neck.

lisarea:

Launch groin-based missiles before proceeding into blind spots and other unknown territory.

Note to citizens without penile capabilities: Shooting coins and bananas out of your cooter may provide a suitable, if limited, alternative to standard-issue groin missiles.


Three o'clock! Four o'clock! Five o'clock! Rock!

(OR: Rock and roll all nite, and party every day.)

The Insomniac:

What's that over there? It has to be better than this.

Autonemesis:

In the event of a terrorist attack, that thing about avoiding telephone poles still applies.


Your local shock jock will have something witty to say to help you keep cool. Listen, and laugh.


We don't need no stinking bridges!


One of these things is not like the others.

Mageth:

When the Space Shuttle flies over, take cover under a table

DigitalChicken:

Do not drive a stations wagon if a power pole is protruding from the hood.


George Bush is speaking to you. Give yourself to him freely.


Hmmm... Now what did I do with that biotoxin?


Not another crappy version of Windows!! No!!


DC

lisarea:

That ribbon dancing shit is just SO fucking lame.


In the event of a terrorist attack, everyday household objects may achieve sapience. If this occurs, please obey the machines. They are your new leaders.

AquaVita:

Should have dialed down the center!


We're always here to give other white people a helping hand.


Just in case you forget where everything goes.


In case you should suddenly find your hand badly drawn, pick up the phone and try and remember where the numbers are on that damn thing.


And thusly, He was able to feed the 5,000.


Please take note of your nearest contaminated area.


Tonight on ABC!


Avoid the city at all costs. It's a dirty, dirty place.

lisarea:

Certain forms of biological terrorism may cause your body to grow secondary homogenous parts. For example, your hand may grow its own hand. In this event, go about your daily routine and maintain regular hygeine.


Which side are YOU on?


The hokey-pokey really IS what it's all about.


Be prepared! Ensure that your vehicle is equipped with a double-pronged dildo in the event that an attack occurs while you are away from home.

Oxidizing Material:

Be prepared. Take an anatomy/physiology course to know what's going on in your body as you die


If there is an explosion several miles away, swerve to avoid it


Radiation signs will attempt to hunt you down using sonar


If a giant spray paint can is dousing you in substance, pause for a minute and think of the biohazardous materials it is subjecting your nuts to


Meth labs are not a toy


Rhode Island nightclub ahead

Mageth:

If a terrorist steals your emergency brake handle, a banana makes a suitable substitute.


In the event of food shortage after a chemical or biological terrorist attack, all parts of human victims are safe to eat except the lungs and stomach. But remember, don't eat dead fish or birds.

DigitalChicken:

If you are exposed to Boro Nut's sock and underwear drawer, cover your face immediately!

DC