Bloop:

Ok, who the hell but a bunch of dead animals on my No Parking sign ?!?!?

Manta:

No, sucking on a blow-pop will not help you get laid, so just quit hollering about it!


Beware of test tubes with funny shapes in them. They could be working on Eve's sister


Whoopsie! it looks like I just shot out a gas station!


(mutant Herbie) ooh...beat me some more...I like it!

Nephand:

The "Marco Polo" childhood system of locating should be implemented in case of nuclear holocaust.


Should you be caught out and find yourself within sight of a Maypole Dancing event, choke yourself to death. You will know you're doing it right when a yellow swirl appears in your peripheral vision.


You must be THIS height or taller to ride the Nuclear Blast.


Objects may appear closer than they actually are, should your eyes be irradiated.

Manta:

Ack I have 'ralphed' my eyes out...


Please help me find them!

Bloop:

WARNING !!!!

Citizens of Texas:

The Blue Sedan of the Apocalypse has been spotted on various Texas highways the last few days. Reports of gas stations being blown up are coming in from all over the country.

The car is recognizable by it's long, red, whipping devil's tail extending from its rear bumper. The car is armed and is to be considered extremely dangerous. If you should spot this car, do not interfer with it's path. Take cover and call responsible authorities. Also See Rev. 13:5-13 for further information.

Raspy:

If you are bleeding to death from every orifice, please run upstairs as the altitude may stem the bleeding. If you are turning green with radiation poisoning, please run downstairs and outside as your colour will clash less with the grass.

Raspy:

If radiation approaches, stand behind a single sheet of steel. Radiation is stupid and will not think to go around.

Mageth:

If there's a radiation source in the next room, stand facing the wall as close as you can to ensure maximum dosage.

Jamie_L:

Going downstairs allows you to leave by the door. Going upstairs allows you to leave by jumping to your death.


If a nuclear bomb goes off at your destination, you may wish to pull over and consider going someplace else.


Please call with information about terrorist sleeper cells. The U.S. Military has missiles pointed at major U.S. cities, capable of taking out these cells once we know their location.


If you choose to make your Star Frontiers character a human, add 10% to any one ability.
Geek points to anyone who gets this one.

Manta:

Protect yourself from "private" radiation :



...with the SuperDuper Ready.gov CUP!

Jamie_L:

Just... can't... stop...


If you can generate an invisible force field, like the Fantastic Four's Invisible Woman, you can use it to protect yourself from radiation.


If a large enough group of terrorists shouts the word "Radioactive" at once, the resulting shock wave could level 20% of the state of Texas.


The Department of Homeland Security has developed a telepathic spray that can indentify people thinking about committing bioterrorism.


Once sprayed, terrorists will realize their plans are thwarted and flee.

Mediancat:

-- Attempts to go in any other direction will result in smashing into the stairway wall.

-- Rob aka Mediancat

Mageth:

OK, for us older geeks:


Keep an "Operation" game in your emergency supplies. In addition to being a fun way to pass the time, it might come in handy if you need to perform emergency surgery.

Mediancat:

-- Little square flying jack o'lanterns will attempt to locate you with sonar. Stand behind a sheet of glass to hide from them.


-- Beware! The terrorists will give out whistles that cause hair loss. If this happens, scream.

-- Rob aka Mediancat