ALL RIGHT! who hacked up the hairball in MY berth???msg........Posted by
Phyllida on February 9, 1999 at 23:38:21 from 153.35.211.141:
geez-bring a nice new friend over AND.....what do I find? Who's the alternate chambermaid? I understand Sharon has, errrr, her hands full?
Oh, Catslave...can the chambermaid and furball (msg).....Posted by Lisa C on February 9, 1999 at 23:56:43 from 205.188.193.179:
cleaner take a coffe break???? PLEASE?????
5 minutes on the hour, bathroom and coffee break. msg. - cat slave human resources director
0:06:08 2/10/1999 (11)
and don't be drinking so much coffee that you have to go to the bathroom every hour! **cracks whip** And
make it snappy! Oh and try the drinks in the bar car...Argenteus has a special ingredient that will knock your
socks off!
Is there a lawyer on this train??? I think (msg). - Sharon
0:26:11 2/10/1999 (6)
we're having some union contract negotiating problems here! We may have to strike! Then you'll all be floatin' in
cheesy-doodle-kitty-poop and furballs!
We demand a third party negotiator!!
Of course not! This is a civilized train! nm. - cat slave aghast at the thought of a lawyer
0:49:31 2/10/1999
Oh Conductor!! The maids want hazardous duty pay...msg - cat slave entertainment coordinator and stuff on February 9, 1999 at 23:59:36 from 209.198.4.161:
Something about cheezy doodle kitty poops or something. Can that be arranged?? Oh and they say there isn't enough hot water for the multiple showers they are taking after hairball duty and stuff. What can be arranged for the comfort of our janitorial staff, hmmm?
We Demand Our Freedom! We Are Wrongfully Imprisoned -Posted by
Tenshi and Akuma on February 10, 1999 at 10:14:25 from 38.227.237.2:
Help us! Help Us! We are still locked in our sleeping car from something we're pretty sure we didn't do! We are sweet innocent little kitties who never do nothing wrong and out mean old Mommy (Neko) has left us locked in her for FOREVER! She ain't never gonna let us out again! We didn't do NOTHING! We're good kitties, the bestest kittes, we know we didn't do anything! We're almost positive that we're innocent!
Besides, it was YESTERDAY that we didn't do whatever we're accused so wrongfully of doing and who can remember all the way back that far? Is it fair to imprison us like this? This is cruel and unusual punishment, which just ain't fair even if we is unusual kitties! How can we learn from our mistakes if we can't remember them? Besides, we don't make mistakes! We are innocent!
She's just in a bad mood cause she messed up her project by taking out some screws and not being able to put them back in [ha ha always thought she had a few loose!] and she's taking it out on us! We're sure that's what it is! We'd never do anything wrong so it must be her fault she's upset. Cranky silly human!
And just to let you all know how DESPERATE (innocent) cats we are, we've taken each other hostage until we are given the freedom we so rightfully deserve! If we can just figure out how to use these water squirters we may start holding each other at squirt point too! Don't make us use these!
Did we mention that we are innocent? Do these look like faces that would lie to you?
I'll put my paw under da dore and pull you thru. Here! nm. - Rascal
11:29:52 2/10/1999 (0)
Pssst Tenshi and Akuma this way..... - Holstein da cat
11:03:33 2/10/1999 (8)
which way? what? huh?. - Tenshi and Akuma
11:36:08 2/10/1999 (7)
Oh you are two "bad boys"! I love "bad boys"!! Purr...msg. - Tara with stars in her eyes
12:36:57 2/10/1999 (1)
What do you do with a girl cat? They're no fun!. - Tenshi and Akuma
12:59:34 2/10/1999 (0)
EEEWWUUUUU I hate water!!! Save yourselves. nm. - Holstein da cat
11:47:11 2/10/1999 (4)
poor Holstein! here, let me try to make it up to you!. - Neko
12:41:53 2/10/1999 (3)
No, no, no I'm hiding under the seats until supper or. - Holstein da cat
13:14:58 2/10/1999 (2)
hmmm my little monsters rarely get snacks... but let me see. - Neko
13:23:38 2/10/1999 (1)
wait! I found something! how about.... - Neko
13:26:13 2/10/1999 (0)
You look innocent to me!!! I'd let you out......msg. - Tara
10:40:06 2/10/1999 (0)
TOM JONES is playing in the lounge right now! (msg) Posted by
DaffneyDestiny on February 10, 1999 at 16:50:10 from 207.23.88.88:
and he's playing our favorite song! Oh how we love that song! Did anyone pack any panties that we can toss at him. (He likes that you know). Unfortunately we don't have any undies... Hey guys, anyone pack their "stud pants"?!
Come on, grab a cocktail, or a mocktail, or what-have-you and let's all sing together!
What's new pussycat ? Woah, Woah What's new pussycat ? Woah, Woah Pussycat, Pussycat I've got flowers And lots of hours To spend with you. So go and powder your cute little pussycat nose ! Pussycat, Pussycat I love you Yes, I do ! You and your pussycat nose !
What's new pussycat ? Woah, Woah What's new pussycat ? Woah, Woah Pussycat, PussycatYou're so thrilling And I'm so willing To care for you. So go and make up your cute little pussycat face ! Pussycat, Pussycat I love you Yes, I do ! You and your pussycat face !
What's new pussycat ? Woah, Woah What's new pussycat ? Woah, Woah Pussycat, Pussycat You're delicious And if my wishes Can all come true I'll soon be kissing your sweet little pussycat lips Pussycat, Pussycat I love you Yes, I do ! You and your pussycat lips ! You and your pussycat eyes ! You and your pussycat nose !
*FAINT* (Daffney) *FAINT* (Destiny)
he has more to shake now than he used to LOL... nm - Marjorie
18:07:56 2/10/1999 (0)
Oooo!! I'm swooning! And I've got a great pair of arms..msg - Captain Tik Tok
18:37:08 2/10/1999 (0)
to catch me!! :0)
Help I need a couple of meow-garitas please..msg
Posted by Yawning and rubbing eyes Humoon on February 10, 1999 at 21:54:21 from 208.133.40.40:
O life is glorious one partee with our friends after another or is it one continuous party???
Coming right up with the margaritas..would have been sooner - but Ziggy and Callie Anne locked me in the bathroom..finally Penny found me and let me out..I think the dogs are
the only sane and sober ones aboard....grr..come here Ziggy, granny has a surprise for you...a big surprise... granny
22:56:06 2/10/1999 (1)
thank u furrien. Can I have more please..nm - staggering Humoon
4:51:51 2/11/1999 (0)
Another rousing rendition of the "Love Train Refrain"!! …Posted by
Hunny Plumpkin on February 10, 1999 at 22:11:45 from 205.205.41.97:
Sorry everybody, I got lost in a bowl of whipped cream *slurp, smack* and lost "track" (oh I cut me up) of time! So this is the late show in the theater car ...
Ahem, lalala! ok, my next rendition is dedicated to the MOST dedicated humans we know! Yes! Our Jeff and Diane! ... It's called "The Love Train Refrain".
Just join in at any time ...
All of the kitties and their dearest friends, doggies, and let's not forget the humans, are taking this trip, so fully eqipped, just because we all are your biggest fans!
"We love you! We love YOU!" in unison! Every soul aboard has a message! Hark! It's our aim to please, to comfort and ease, yes, with each and every hug, purr and bark!
Though when we arrive, we may be swaying, with big silly grins and googlely eyes! Some may be sleeping, with one eye peeping. All hoping you're IN-LOVE with our SURPRISE!!!!
PARTEE!!!! And lets hear it for my back-up singers, Daffney and Destiny!! Yahh!!!
By the way, has anyone seen my sis, Peg anywhere???
MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION FOR A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT….Posted by cat slave entertainment coordinator on February 10, 1999 at 22:12:10 from 209.198.5.92:
We seem to be having a few problems on the train today...I have heard rumor of ILLEGAL CHEEZY PUFFS onboard the train! **astonished gasp from all listeners** YES, I don't know where they came from or where they are, but this type of blatant disregard for the rules will NOT be tolerated!! Sharon, please share with the crowd our slogan for this trip...
Thank you Sharon.
I have set up an interrogation chamber...errr, investigation car in car 6. We managed to pick up Inspector Rob, disguised as a piece of baggage, on the side of the road and he is now ready to start investigations into the "Cheezy Puffs Fiasco." Everyone please proceed quietly to the torture chamber...errrr, investigation car to answer a few questions from Inspector Rob. **cat slave whispers to Inspector Rob..."Hey I got my toe monsters in there, feel free to use them to munch on the toes of people you think may be withholding information...they will get confessions out of the most innocent of people...**evil laugh** If that doesn't work, there are some feather toys in there too that can be used on reluctant felines** Also car 5 (the cheezy puff disaster car) is still available and filled with the stench of cheezy puff poopies, 5 minutes in that car will work anyone over"**
We have also heard rumor that the Porter's Trusty Truss is missing. If you have seen this truss please report to the torture...er...investigations car AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!! This is a very important piece of equipment in the Porter's life and he can't be expected to move baggage without it! No baggage is moved until the Trusty Truss is returned!! Inspector Rob, I will leave the truss situation to you!
Porter, you can TRUST US TO FIND THE TRUSTY TRUSS!
Thank you all and please proceed to the Torture Chamber!
Really Inspector, I find this completely ... - Hunny Plumpkin FP
22:47:17 2/10/1999 (1)
offensive! I am a serious Artiste! I have never been treated in this fashion!! Now if you'll excuuuuse me, I have
to find my sister ... who as far as I know could be hanging precariously from a giraffe as we speak!! I hardly have
time for this nonsense! ....
Hold on there one moment!! Come back here! (msg)- Inspector Rob
22:54:12 2/10/1999 (0)
Hunny PLUMPkin, do you say? Hmmmmm, I see. And how did you come by that name? A fondness for
cheesypuffs, maybe??
Let me see those paws, ma'am! If they've got cheesypuff residue, it's to the brig with you!
Just remember, Inspector Rob, while tortur.. - furball
22:29:12 2/10/1999 (3)
er...nterrogating someone, if they touch their nose while speaking, they're lying! And if you need someone to balance
out the good guy/bad guy schtick, you can count on me!
Well, son, you sound like a pretty smart guy....- Inspector Rob
22:37:01 2/10/1999 (2)
how would you like to be my assistant?
I need you to inspect the cars for anything suspicious while I'm doing these torture......er.....interrogations. Look
for cheesypuff colored fingers, or anyone toting heavy luggage with ease.......anything that makes you suspicious at
all.
Son! What kind of an inspector are you?- furball
23:06:59 2/10/1999 (1).
I'm a girl, seeee? I'll gladly help in your investigation, but I must insist upon the title of Associate.
And I want a walkie-talkie. And a shoulder holster for my feather wand. And one of those little pads to write
notes in.
Oh, ah-hem, I see...... - Inspector Rob
23:10:58 2/10/1999 (0)
Car six you say? Uh, do you believe I can't count that high?- Pat
22:26:15 2/10/1999 (1)
Honest!! I haven't seen a single cheese puff!! I'm innocent I tell you!! I was asleep!! Asleep!! It was Mr. French
in the Dining car with the candlestick!!!!!!
Hmmmmm, but where were you when the porter's truss went missing?- Inspector Rob
22:33:36 2/10/1999 (0)
You had some pretty heavy baggage there ma'am. Care to explain how you
moved it all by yourself?
I'll be keeping an eye on you.........
Alright everyone! Listen up! I need all present - Inspector Rob
22:25:54 2/10/1999 (6)
to state your name, and line up in an orderly fashion! If anyone has any knowledge of the illicit cheesypuff, or the
Porter's Truss, now would be the time to confess. It will go much easier on you if you do. Otherwise, I'll have to
use more persuasive methods.........(frowns menacingly) Alright, Who's first?
Hey I'm innocent, but I haven't seen Merlin in a while...hmm. - cat slave meowmie to far to many cats
22:33:13 2/10/1999 (5)
thweeti pi ... bad boy ... ith thissh da thleepin car? ... no mattur ... thweet drweemth! *thoft kitti thnorin*
Merlin ith......ah, I mean IS......What?? - Inspector Rob
22:46:20 2/10/1999 (3)
...Is there a translator here? I need a translator! And someone get this sleeping cat off my lap!! I've got work to do!
Well at last Inspector! Doing something useful! That is ...- Hunny
22:58:23 2/10/1999 (1)
.... my sister, Pegapus! I have already established that she was inebriated with the help of one ..... MERLIN!! He
took her to the top of giraffe Garry on the pretext of admiring the stars! He left her there and was later seen by an
all white cat, that I later met in the theater car, stuffing a truss into the fire in the engine room. Merlin is your man!
Er, feline! Unhand my sister at once!!
Now see here, Ma'am! You need to understand... - Inspector Rob
23:07:37 2/10/1999 (0)
one thing here! *I* am running this investigation! I see you have no cheesypuff residue on your paws, so you have
a choice here: Either take your sister and let me do my job, or I'm gonna have to take you to the brig.
Are we clear on this?
No, wait........When you see this "Merlin" tell him to report to me immediately, and I'll take care of him for
mishandling your sister.
WE NEED A TRANSLATOR HERE!! WHO CAN TRANSLATE??! NM. - cat slave jack of all trades
22:50:26 2/10/1999 (0)
...I have been minding my own business here in the Isolation Car... having seen a truss or a single cheesey thingy
whatsit the whole trip!! I swear!! I've been being starved half to death in here too!! And the maid has yet to
remove the hairballs I'm hacking up!!! wheeze wheeze hack... oops, scuze me Inspector Rob... didn't mean to do
that on your shoe!!
I think you should torture...er... interrogate Callie Anne and Merlin!!! They have been up to NO GOOD!!! I
know, cuz she is my own daughter...my own flesh and blood...sob sob. What's a poor sick mother to do?? sob
sob sob... wheeze hack...sorry about that again...
Ummm, Uh......(msg). - Inspector Rob
22:30:53 2/10/1999 (8)
*Ah-hem* (Clears throat and desperatly tries to shake hairball off of his shoe......)
So, Ma'am, you say you were isolated the whole time? I'll check your story with the other passengers. I hope for
your sake you're telling the truth.
And......you might want to take something for that cough ma'am. It sounds bad.
I have a Broncheosaurus...uh...brontisaurus...uh.... - VikiKat
22:34:52 2/10/1999 (7)
Darn... I need another Hot Toddy!!!
The others will vouch for me... I've been stuck in here the whole train ride! They won't let me out!!!!! wheeze
wheeze hack... LOOKOUT!!!
Ahhh, Umm, Ah-hem (msg) - Inspector Rob
22:42:21 2/10/1999 (0)(Clearing throat frantically, and trying not to make "horking" sounds of his own)
Well, that's nice, ma'am. I'm sure they'll vouch for you, Ummmm, Just go have a seat, and I'll call you if I need to
talk to you again! .
- cat slave turning green once again
22:40:59 2/10/1999 (5)
Geez, that looks...uhhh...DISGUSTING!! YUCK! Do you need a vet or something?? EEESHHH!
I'm here! - Sharon the chambermaid
22:49:12 2/10/1999 (4)
I'm here! Here, Mr. Inspector.....let me clean that up for you! (whispers to the Inspector: You're doing a great job honey!)
Hey catslave! Did you know that the Inspector is my husband?? Isn't he sooooo handsome when he's working??
Inspector Rob to Sharon: Honey, I've told you, not while I'm working......Geesh, how am I supposed to get any
respect with my wife hanging around my job all the time!!??
Well I was trying to give you a chance with Mel! msg - cat slave human resources person
23:00:50 2/10/1999 (1)
Sweet old me trying to help out a poor little chambermaid...you could have had Mel, but NOOOOO, you had to
marry the inspector...shesh! .
SHHHHH!! - Sharon the chambermaid
23:32:23 2/10/1999 (0)
How was I supposed to know you (msg)were going to pick my HUSBAND up on the way?? You could have told me!
*sigh* I guess there will be no Mel for me this trip...
Um...Sharon... sorry about his shoes!!! No offense? nm. - VikiKat
22:54:25 2/10/1999 (1)
Oh, none at all! Shhhh, but I found some (msg) - Sharon the chambermaid
22:59:59 2/10/1999 (0)
chocolate hairball remedy stashed waaaay back in the kitchen. It's artificially flavored though....best I could do!
Open wide! Don't make me wipe it on your paw!! .
SHARON, TO THE ISOLATION CAR WITH HAIRBALL REMEDY PLEASE.msg. . - cat slave hairball investigator
22:28:46 2/10/1999 (1)
VikiKat seems to be producing a profusion of them all over the isolation car. Inspector Rob's shoes
are...ummm...rather disgusting now. You may want to take those to car 5...ick..
But I want CHOCOLATE FLAVORED!!! whine whine pout. - VikiKat
22:30:44 2/10/1999 (0)
Well Merlin is accused of having the Trusty Truss...msg
Posted by cat slave ashamed of Merlin. on February 10, 1999 at 23:31:39 from 209.198.4.141:
Trust me, I may be his meowmie, but this MUST come from his father's side of the family! I have never had a truss thief in my lineage...EVER! So, if you see Merlin please tell him that his meowmie wants him to turn himself in peacefully...it will all be for the best if he just gives himself up and throws himself on the mercy of the inspector.
Uh-Oh.... - VikiKat mother to another Mischief Maker
23:36:40 2/10/1999 (2)
Why do I have a feeling Callie Anne has her paws in this too?
I sent Miss Piggy out to look for Callie Anne over an hour ago, and now they are BOTH missing!!!
Has anybody seen my children???
Were they climbing giraffes in the caboose? They... msg. - Pat
23:43:06 2/10/1999 (1)
.. may have fallen asleep under the stars! Since Merlin's hijinx in the engine room, Garry and Twiggs, two of my
giraffes up front haven't let anymore kitties in there this evening. Oh, I do hope you find them! I was all over the
place finding Peg and Hunny here ... Hunny? HUNNY!!!
Hahaha! My plan worked! Ever since Merlin ... msg. - Hunny
23:46:20 2/10/1999 (0)
... cast me aside for my sister Peg, I knew I would exact my revenge! A kitty heart is not to be toyed with!!! Now
everyone thinks Merlin burned the truss!!!! HAHAHA!!!
ooops ... did i just post that? MOM!?! Wait for meeeee!
Woohoo! Inspector! I'm here and ready to go! I had to
Posted by furball_running up to Inspector Rob on February 10, 1999 at 23:42:12 from 209.156.147.160:
get us some doughnuts! Care for a chocolate old fashioned? I'm ready to write some notes in my little pad...hmmm...(she pats the sides of her body) where IS that little pad? Oh wait! I can use my walkie-talkie....(loud feedback noise)
(please read this next part aloud, holding your fist up to your mouth)
Inspector Rob...Inspector Rob...do you read me...over and out. Roger. 10-4 Big buddy.
AHHHHHH!!! Turn that thing down!! (msg). - Inspector Rob
23:54:04 2/10/1999 (1)
Tell you what........if you need me, just wave the walkie-talkie in the air, okay?? You're doing a good job! Thanks
for the doughnuts! You and me are going to get along just fine......
Could you grab my jacket off of the back of that chair and take it to the laundry car? Thanks!
Yuck-o! Anybody got a ten foot pole on them?. - furball
0:06:02 2/11/1999 (0)
I FOUND MERLIN, HE IS INNOCENT!!! INSPECTOR!!! Msg
Posted by
cat slave meowmie of INNOCENT Merlin. on February 10, 1999 at 23:52:30 from 209.198.4.141:
He was tied up, gagged and gagging, under the stairs in the caboose! He said something about one of his girlfriends working him over for dumping her...she horse whipped him with a...with a...TRUSTY TRUSS!!! Inspector I expect you to get that girl and proclaim Merlin INNOCENT! Well innocent in the case of the trusty truss, anyway...sigh...
It's true, I lied, he broke my heart, but I swear I know not. - Hunny ashamed and near sobbing
0:02:55 2/11/1999 (7)
of any truss! How could you after all you've done to me Merlin say that I beat you!!?? And as for being tied up!
Well that was YOUR idea!
I confess, Inspector! I left Merlin, gagging him after he ... he ... HE ASKED IF PEG COULD JOIN US!!
I gagged him ... sob ... and then made up the story ... sob, gulp, sob. But I swear! There was NO TRUSS! I just
said he took it when I heard it was missing! Oh, boohoohoohoowhahhhh!
It was not me!! It must have been an IMPOSTER!!! msg. - Merlin the confused magnificent male
0:22:30 2/11/1999 (4)
I would never do such a thing to you Hunny, you are much to sweet to be abused in such a way...oh dear, dear
Hunny...**snuggles**It had to be someone else, but who would beat me with the truss and then disappear???
And who would be so mean to my baby Hunny?? HMMMM????
Sniff, sniff, b-b-but it was you... all black and handsome?. - Hunny recovering slowly
0:32:00 2/11/1999 (3)
Sniff sniff oh whoooo was it then? In the dark i thought it was you Merlin! sniff. sob. sniffsniff
It was NOT me, my sweet Hunny...who else is black and msg. - Merlin the handsome devil
0:37:18 2/11/1999 (2)
Handsome on this train?? Inspector, we must find the imposter!!
Alright Hunny, calm down...we'll get to the bottom (msg). - Inspector Rob
0:44:52 2/11/1999 (0)
of this.
Are you calm enough? Do you remember any distinquishing characteristics about this blackguard who treated you
so horribly?
Was he declawed? Did he have any scars?
Think, Hunny......I need any information you may remember.
I'm sorry Merlin! Please forgive me! I believe you! nm. - Hunny calling between quiet sobs as taken off to bed
0:42:59 2/11/1999 (0)
I'm sorry, Miss Hunny, but you're (msg). - Inspector Rob
0:11:59 2/11/1999 (1)
going to have to stay in the carrier until we straighten all of this mess out. You've been caught lying once.....I'll
have to make sure you're telling the truth before I release you.
(Inspector Rob places the cat carrier in a secure place in the interrogation car)
Pat, you can visit her twice a day, but only supervised.
Oh my baby! Where did I go wrong???!!!???nm. - Pat too blind with tears to see Peg come in with truss
0:13:52 2/11/1999 (0)
AH-HAH! I've got you Miss Hunny! (msg). - Sharon
23:59:57 2/10/1999 (9)
(Inspector Rob grabs Hunny and tosses her into his ever-handy cat carrier, slamming the door shut)
Now, You're in big trouble missy! Assault and Battery, Making a False Police Report, and Theft of the TRUSTY
TRUSS!!
Fess up! Where is the Truss??
WHO'S FESS? NM. - TWIG
0:09:39 2/11/1999 (0)
Shaaaaarooooon!! How many times do I have to (msg). - Inspector Rob
0:06:50 2/11/1999 (6)
tell you?? You can't be bothering me at work!! You are NOT a police officer, and you can't make any arrests!
Please, dear, just let me do my job, or I'll have to arrest you too!
Do you remember what the Chief said? If you tried to impersonate an officer one more time, you'd go to jail.
Now, go to the cabin, and think about that for a while!
And GIVE ME THAT CAT CARRIER!!
*SIGH*
