Neko's cats present: A Malady of train music!. - Neko and her singing fools
9:24:03 2/9/1999 (6)
Posted by
Neko and her singing fools on February 9, 1999 at 9:24:03 from 38.227.237.2:
I hope I got all of my tags right!
A pair of large longhaired grey tuxedo cats are sitting on the stage. One has a symmetrical white arch on his forehead and a large ruff of white furr around his neck. The other has an asymmetrical white arch and less white on his neck and legs, a somewhat leaner face, but is otherswise identical to his companion. They both have long tails, and are clearly full-grown cats. The one with the asymmetrical arch steps foward.
Tenshi: As the official spokescat for Neko's household, I wanted to introduce a malady of musical numbers-
Akuma: Hey! I'm the alpha cat [vigorous but useless tail shaking]!I should be performing the introductions! And it's a Melody, not a malady!
Tenshi: Not with your high pitched voice. Shoken has a deeper voice, and she's a girl-cat. There's a reason Mom calls you Squeeky Boy.
Akuma: Watch it or I'll pounce on you! [Akuma gets into a low crouch]
Tenshi: MOM! He's gonna pounce on me! [Tenshi backs up a bit]
Neko: Akuma! Leave your brother alone! He doesn't need to be pounced on!
Akuma: But he's *my* brother. I can pounce on him if I want to.
Neko [firmly]: No you can't. Now where are Naderu and Shoken?
Akuma and Tenshi [innocent]: We don't know! We're just little kittens!
Neko: You are nineteen months old, hardly kittens, and you were never very innocent to start with.
[Skoken is busy sitting at the window, watching the scenery. She is a large silver-tipped mackeral tabby, with distinct lines around her eyes, and a few small grey hairs near her nose. She is calm and dignified. She has been around the longest of all of them, and still regards them as intruders at times. She yawns and stretches elegantly, flexing her white-gloved paws.]
Shoken: I am not going to sing with them. Leave me alone, the sunlight is so nice here.
Neko: Shoken honey, I'll give you some tuna if you do.
Shoken [flicks her tail a few times]: Okay, but they aren't allowed to touch me. I'm not dancing, either.
Neko: It's a deal.
[Shoken leaps down daintily and sits on the stage. She glares at Tenshi and Akuma, who back up, respectfully. Shoken ignores them and starts grooming her back feet.]
Neko: okay. Now where's Naderu? Ru? Rubarb?
Naderu [from under a bench]: I don't know about all of this. It doesn't look good.
Neko: Sunshine, come on out.
Tenshi [Getting between Neko and Naderu]: Aww why do you wanna have him come out? I have a prettier voice than he does. His is all gravelly and rough and-
Neko [pushing Tenshi aside, gently]: Tenshi honey, I love you both, but I'm trying to talk to Ru. He's part of the household too.
Tenshi [muttering]: I'm just as good of a cat as he is.
Neko: Don't whine, it's not attractive. Ru, won't you please come out?
Naderu: well, umm, I don't think it's safe out there. There might be bad things.
Neko: I won't let anyone every hurt you Ru. Please come out.
Naderu [still hesitant]: Could you maybe sit down on a bench and I could snuggle up next to you, maybe? I'd feel safe then.
Neko [sitting on a bench and placing a blanket on her lap]: Okay Ru. Come on out.
[Naderu comes out slowly. He is a big old ginger tomcat. There are old scar lines on his broad head, and the backright quadrant of his body has slightly shorter hair than the rest, from a recent surgery. He looks about cautiously, and lightly leaps up next to Neko, and settles down with a few small grunts.]
Neko: Okay everyone, I think we're ready now.
[Tenshi steps to the center of the stage again. Shoken stops grooming her feet and sits up. Akuma stands next to his brother and the two of them lean against each other. Each cat spends a moment clearing his or her voice. Tenshi and Akuma's are both somewhat high voices, almost sopranos, filled with vibretto and rolling chirps. Shoken has a richer, fuller, more sustained voice, and can clearly hold a note much longer than the others. Naderu's voice is a rough baritone, somewhat uneven but still multi-layered. Naderu starts.]
Now kitties get ready, There's a train a' comin', Don't need no baggage, You just get on board. All you need is faith, To hear the diesels humming, You don't need no ticket, You just give thanks to Bast.
[Shoken steps forward and takes the next chorus]
Kitties get ready, For the train to Di's House. Picking up passengers, From coast to coast. Faith is the key, Opens the door still boarded. There's hope for all, Amongst those loved the most.
[Shoken Steps back, and Naderu, who had been looking a little uncomfortable, steps up to the next verse, confidant.]
There ain't no room, For the hopeless sinner. Who'd hurt all cat kind, Just to save his own. Pitied are those, Whose chances grow there, 'Cause there's no hiding place, Amongst the kingdom's throne.
[All four cats join in for the last chorus.]
Now people get ready, There's a train a'comin. Don't need no baggage, You just get on board. All you need is faith, To hear the diesels humming. You don't need no ticket, You just give thanks to Bast.
[All of the cats step back and relax.]
Neko [applauding]: That was so good guys! I'm so proud of you!
[all four cats preen a bit under the praise. Akuma leans over and licks his brother on the forehead. Tenshi tilts his head and lick's his brother's cheek. The two brothers start closing their eyes and purring, leaning into the bathing. After a few seconds though, Akuma starts biting his brother instead. Neko reaches down and pushes the two apart.]
Neko: Okay, that's enough. Move onto the next song.
[Akuma steps forward this time, and starts. His brother, standing behind him, is stiffling giggles. Shoken shrugs, uninvolved. Neko has raises one eyebrow already but lets him start.]
Driving that trip, high on catnip, Casey Jones is ready, watch your speed. Trouble ahead, trouble behind, And you know that notion just crossed my mind.
[Neko's eyes widen as she recognizes the song]
Neko [grabbing Akuma]: Young man, you are NOT singing a song about a [stops and whispers harshly]trainwreck.
Naderu [alarmed]: trainwreck?! these things can wreck?! [dives back under the bench]. I'm staying under here! I knew this place wasn't safe!
Neko [Dropping Akuma]: Ru! Ru it's safe! [there is no response.]
[Akuma and Tenshi are still giggling.]
Shoken: I think I'll join him, just to be safe. [disappears under the the bench as well.]. Call me when it's din-din time, if you're serving tuna.
Neko [glaring at Tenshi and Akuma] Okay you two, let's see what other notions can cross your mind when you're locked in your room for the rest of the trip!
Tenshi: But it's all his fault! The song isn't about a train wreck anyway, it's about catnip abuse!
Neko [getting even more upset.] I raised you better than that!
Tenshi [trying to forestall punishment but getting nervous] No you didn't. Akuma ate your catnip plant this morning.
Akuma: Shut up Tenshi! Besides, it was YOUR idea! You knocked over the plant in the first place.
Neko: That's it! You spending the rest of the trip in time-out in the sleeping car!
Tenshi [As Neko picks up both struggling cats]: Wait! I never have any ideas! Don't blame this on me! I'm innocent!
Neko: I don't care which of you did what, it's time out for both of you, and no more catnip!
Akuma Whining, as Neko goes out the door, taking them back to her room]: But What about the big finish? We was gonna do a conga line to "the locomotion"!
[as the door closes, a mackeral tabby paw with white gloves comes out from under the bench, and hangs a sign from the edge that reads:
END OF PERFORMANCE. ]
I laughed! I cried! I turned my back and washed my tail.... - Critter
11:03:22 2/9/1999 (0)
Wow, yuse iz a famwee uv muses!! n/m. - weesa
10:42:12 2/9/1999 (0)
paws together "clap clap" bravo, encore. .. msg. - Boo and Riley
10:30:16 2/9/1999 (0)
Posted by
cat slave entertainment coordinator on February 9, 1999 at 13:01:29 from 209.198.5.57:
I'm here, the party can start! I seem to be having a little hangover problem from last night, so I brought my two party animals along to entertain y'all while I try to get my head to stop pounding...anyone have some 'hair of the dog' to make this go away??
I think everyone has met Merlin and Sassy, they are the entertainment coordinator assistants (or assistants to the entertainment coordinator?? whatever **pound**pound**)
You guys watch out, Sassy brought her "Love Wand" along...I think this valentines stuff is getting to her!
And here is the stud himself, Merlin! Ladies, he belongs to you! Now I am going to the drink car and see if I can get rid of this headache! I will be back later to get the party swinging! Any requests for games, music or fun??
You said you wanted some "hair of the dog" well I brought. - granny
13:56:50 2/9/1999 (5)
the whole dog..Toto is here too though since he stole and hid the baggage last nite I was considering leaving him
home.Sure hope these other cats don't tell Toto that he isn't really a cat too...
HISS SPIT HISS SPIT!!! DOGS IN DA DOG CAR!!! msg. - weesa
14:47:16 2/9/1999 (1)
Get bak dare wif Choonyur.
Sheesh.
Miss Piggy and Toto don't know they are dogs..It. - granny
18:15:04 2/9/1999 (0)
Hair of the Toto will work! Are d*gs allowed on board? msg. - cat slave feeling better already
14:14:02 2/9/1999 (2)
HEY!!!. - VikiKat
14:51:21 2/9/1999 (0)
Toto is happy to help...thanks. - granny
14:50:50 2/9/1999 (0)
Partee partee, wez can play wid de banner weeeee!!!!!nm. - Riley and Boo
13:41:36 2/9/1999 (0)
Posted by
The Engineer on February 9, 1999 at 19:23:58 from 207.211.65.64:
Two more pieces of baggage arrived today. Confirmations of a safe receipt were sent out. One more passenger was added to the manifest bringing the number of RSVP's to 87!
Sheesh. I woke up on the Caboose floor with Catanooga Choo Choo being sung in my brain. No wait. That was Mou Chat.
Well, I must say I have never seen such revelry, such wild, loose abandonment, such shameful conduct, such a total Bachanale.
Good work everyone.
Kitties flittin' and flirtin' every which way. One's head can hardly keep it all straight. I'm sure there will be several elopements and side trips to Viagra Falls for a little smooching if this keeps up. (pun is very intended)
And there is so much catnip in the Club Car it smells like the Sixties!
Well see what's been going on since we began our trip. Lisaviolet's Bennee The Scoundrel has snuck aboard. Watch out girls! And that coal feller looks to be a charmer too. Catslave was banished to the Caboose for being too young to remember The Monkees (Cecilia had a crush on Davey - who didn't?). The Caboose was rocking with Chattanooga Choo Choo, Last Train To Clarkesville and they were Doing The Locomotion until the wee hours of the morn.
Mou Chat pulled the brake cord to retrieve Sean Connery who was standing on the tracks begging to be let aboard this wacky train, and of course, Mel got jealous and had to come along. So, who's cabin are they in?
Capri brought snakes aboard. Watch out for slithery things twixt your toes.
Cecilia brought too much luggage and The Porter had to run out and buy a truss.
Toto the d*g got lost on his way to Kansas and boarded with his mom, granny. But this is a good thing as more than a few of us are going to need a little hair of the dog that bit us. I hope he isn't bald by the time this journey is over. He and Miss Piggy are keeping Vikikat company while she completes her stint in the Isolation Car overcoming her bout of flu.
Peggy is double yumming her way through the chocolate cheescake which someone brought aboard. OK, who's got the cheesecake? Where is it?
Neko's Singing Fools did quite an impressive little number in the Theater Car. A Malady of Music that is not to be missed. Unfortunately half of the fabulous quartet was later incarcerated in their sleeping compartment for bad behavior. Facts on future performances are sketchy at the moment.
Fortunately for us there is the backup team of Tara & Her Boy Supremes waiting in the wings to step in and provide music for your dining pleasure. Tara has packed a stunning, fitted sequined gown especially for this occasion.
Several other passengers are popping in and out serving and drinking beverages, and flirting with their fellow passengers.
Hope to do an update tomorrow night if we get any more baggage to load.
In the meantime, where's Mel? Ooooooh, Mel! Yooooooohoooo!
Pass the Cheezy Puffs...things that make you go Hmmmmmmm....Posted by
DaffneyDestiny on February 9, 1999 at 21:46:21 from 207.23.88.36:
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station... I must always remember that I'm unique, just like everyone else. Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window! If FEDEX and UPS were to merge, would they call it FED UP? I think everyone has a photographic memory; it's just that some of us don't have film. I don't have a solution, but I admire your problem. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?! If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from? Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check? I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in The bathroom. What do they call a coffee break at the Lipton Tea Company? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? What was the best thing before sliced bread? When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Posted by
Daffney on February 9, 1999 at 22:14:03 from 207.23.88.50:
I have to pee like a bullet train!
*sniff * sniff * sniff *
oh man, and those cheezy puffs are making my bowels move. Quick anyone...where's the litterbox, I don't care if it's the mens' box!!
EMERGENCY!! WOOWOO!!! LITTERBOX EMERGENCY!!! MSG. - cat slave entertainment coordinator and chambermaid
22:44:52 2/9/1999 (9)
We got an litterbox emergency in car 5...please send back up...**I REPEAT** PLEASE SEND BACK UP!!
CAR 5! This is an emergency! **OOPS** ummm, how about send the janitorial staff instead...sigh...how much
am I getting paid for this job?? not enough...
*sigh* Okay, I got the mop........(cleaning up mess), I'm gonna get them for makin' me do this
(grumblegrumblegrumble) Sold out by my closest friend for litter box duty (puttin' kitty poop in bag)
OH MAN!!! The bag broke!! ARGH!! Where's the shower?? CATSLAVE!!!!!
Could someone PLEASE help me find the (msg). - Stinky Sharon
23:24:19 2/9/1999 (0)
SHOWER??? (No offense Daffney!) I'm gettin' kinda rank here!
Geez, whiney helpers...shower is in car 3...**PEW** msg. - cat slave holding her nose
23:24:03 2/9/1999 (5)
Those cheese doodles are something aren't they?? WOW! I think they may have to be banned on this train...who
let Daffney have them in the first place?? **wow** Open the window there, would you??
(Sharon giving Lisa C a big full-of-cheesy-doodle-kitty-poop-HUG!! as she bebops into the showers......)
Hey, what are friends for! Wait a minute not a hug!! AAAGH!. - Lisa C
23:51:48 2/9/1999 (0)
Navigator Lisa...help Sharon please...msg. - cat slave turning green but still trying to smile
23:30:44 2/9/1999 (0)
Please guide your friend to car 3 to the shower so she can be sanitized...those cheezy puffs are a little rank...just
like Sharon right now...to car 3 please.
Oh SHARON!! AKA Miss Chambermaid!! Over here please! MSG. - cat slave entertainment coordinator and delegator
23:07:55 2/9/1999 (0)
Poopies and peepee's in car 5...take a bucket with you! And some lysol...those cheese doodles are nasty when
they come out!! YUCK!!
Posted by
MCI messageing operator on February 9, 1999 at 22:32:22 from 156.46.117.236:
You have a voice messageing service call from a roving cellular unit, the call is from "ladylynx" , she is enroute to the train. She is going to be unavoidably detained for a day , she was arrested for interstate flight and speeding, something about trying to catch a train....she is looking for her fur boy, he is spotted , blue eyes, his name is mikalsputin, he may be hiding on this train. he may appear to be an angel, but has moments of intense demonic possession. he is described as an angel and a devil in a cat.he is big for his age but still quite a mamma's boy. he must have MILK, it is kitty lac formula. he has it in the morning and night. She is awaiting a bank wire transfer for bond. She would like to know WHAT STATE IS THIS TRAIN IN AND IS IT REALLY FLOURESENT? , "You have a train that glows in the dark?" WOW!! I'm sorry, ahemmmm, the fur boy, mikalsputin may be hiding. he is a master at hiding. especially when he is in SOOOO MUCH TROUBLE!!!! Mikalsputin is also dragging a bag, leather, in it is a cell phone. if you hear it ringing , please answer it. push the send button when it rings and it will answer.....if it is at all possible please leave a voice message at 0-2287-25483! And what state you are in and what is your next destination.Also, Mikalsputin has a large stash of very potent capnip that was flown in from AFRICA for Takiy and Cuzco as a present from the Queen of Kilaminjaro!!Potentially, it could ZONK out the entire train guests,be very careful upon ingestion of this WILD NIP! It was intended for leopards and mt lions, not domestic cats! thank you , this call has been charged to a stand alone voice mail. 0-2287-2483 one more thing, if you can not find him, just talk to him , he can here you, tell him he better be good!!!
one more thing....tell mikalsputin that cuzco is going to EAT HIS FURRRRR for stealing Cuzco's WILD NIP STASH !!!
