floodquotes

Flood Quotes

MIKE: Rick, you've been looking out of that window for three hours now. RICK: Yes, well it's hardly surprising, is it? Vyvyan put super glue all over the pane! VYVYAN: [Reading comic on the couch] Did I? That was a good joke! RICK: I'll probably be disfigured for life, Vyvyan, and you'll have to pay! Ha! And then who will be laughing, ha! [snort] Not you, matey. That's for sure! MIKE: Yeah, well just don't break the glass when you tear your face off, that's all. RICK: I won't. I won't because... [quickly moves away from window] it's not true! It was a joke I made up, and you fell for it like the fascists you are! God, I'm bored! I might as well be listening to Genesis! [Walks to drawing room] Marrow... Meringue... Boomerang... Long blue boomerang... VYVYAN: Oh, shut up! RICK: I'm trying to free form! VYVYAN: I'm trying to read! RICK: OH, REALLY! I learned how to do that years ago! [snort] And what is it you're reading, Vyvyan? A bit of Pretarkian verse, is it? Little bit of French drama? VYVYAN: It's called, 'SS Death Camp Criminal Battalion go to Monte Casino for the Massacre'.

VYVYAN: Poof! RICK: You're deliberately trying to provoke me, aren't you? VYVYAN: Yeah! RICK: For one man to love another, Vyvyan, is not poofy. It's actually very beautiful. It's only when they start touching each others bottoms that it gets poofy. VYVYAN: I'm going to tell Mike and Neil that you said you love men. Hey, Mike...

RICK: Alright! Alright! Alright! What's this? [makes weird hippie body movement] VYVYAN: Being poofy! RICK: No, that's peace! What's this? [places his bottom in VYVYAN's face] That's my bottom, isn't it? They're two completely different things!

VYVYAN: [looking at window] Five past eleven and it's still raining. I wonder how hard it is? RICK: I think it's probably not very hard seeing how it's only made of water!

VYVYAN: Yeah, where's the bloody vindaloo, hippie? You said you were going to the shops two hours ago!

VYVYAN: Yeah, my potion! My potion as well! NEIL: What potion? VYVYAN: It's a potion I've invented where when the patient drinks it he turns into an axe-wielding, homicidal maniac! It's basically a cure. For not being an axe-wielding, homicidal maniac. The potential market's enormous! NEIL: [taking a Coca-Cola can out of the fridge] What, is this it? VYVYAN: Yeah! Yeah, I put it in a Coke can so nobody'd drink it by mistake. NEIL: [placing can atop the refrigerator] You know, I just bet a bit later on somebody does drink that and turns into an axe-wielding, homicidal maniac! RICK: Yes, I bet that as well. That's just the sort of crazy, imaginative thing that happens around here, isn't it? [waits for response] I said, 'Isn't it?' [still no response, RICK sulks]

NEIL: [pulling out pad of paper and pencil] Well? RICK: Well what, hippie? NEIL: Well, what do we need? RICK: Look, we need everything except urine samples, green globules, and...and Super Mousse! NEIL: [writing] Everything! Right: lentils...wallpaper... RICK: LOOK, JUST GET TO THE SHOPS!

RICK: [slamming refrigerator door] OKAY, THAT'S JUST ABOUT THE BLOODY LIMIT! It's...I mean I only put it in there on Wednesday, you know! It's not as if they grow on trees or anything like that! MIKE: [at table] Rick, what have you lost? RICK: I had half an apple in there. Alright, own up, who's taken it? VYVYAN: [on couch opening a can of lager] What were you doing, saving it for teacher? Trying to keep the doctor away? RICK: If he's anything like you, YES!

VYVYAN: I'm starving, you bastard! RICK: [enters room] Yes, so you keep saying, Hitler! Well, why don't you put your money where your mouth is and go to the shops yourself? NEIL: Yes, Vyvyan. VYVYAN: Because I don't want my forehead to rust!

VYVYAN: [thinking for quick comeback] Well, I didn't fall for it because...because while you were counting to one hundred, I went up to your bedroom and set fire to your Sociology file! [smiles]

NEIL: And I was just...I was just hiding there in the wardrobe, right. And it was getting really hot. And then...and then I thought, 'Oh, no. I forgot to put out that Sociology essay that was burning on Rick's desk!' VYVYAN: Yeah, I started that! Try to make Rick think I was hiding in his bedroom. NEIL: What? You set fire to Rick's bedroom? I think that's a really selfish thing to do, Vyvyan! I was hiding in there, and you could have given me away!

MIKE: Look, I don't want to be a wet blanket or anything, but if this house is a bottle, I'm the one with a message. NEIL: What do you mean, Mike? MIKE: [exiting] Simple, London has flooded. [pause. RICK is in shock. VYVYAN is fascinated. NEIL is pondering] NEIL: Oh well. well, we'll all probably get drowned or eaten by octopuses, then. RICK: WHAT? Phone the police! NEIL: But they're fascists!

RICK: That's just typical of you, Vyvyan! The house is under fifty feet of water and what do you do, build a submarine! [thinks] There's, um, no room for me in there, is there? VYVYAN: No! RICK: Good. VYVYAN: Of course there isn't any room in it for you! Why should there be any room in it for you? I want to see you drown! And If I want to see you drown, why should I build a submarine with room enough for you in it? Stupid! I'm not even taking S PG along! SPG: Is that right? We'll see about that, pally! [SPG flies into the air and bites VYVYAN on the neck] VYVYAN: Bastard! [he falls onto his submarine, wrecking it] NEIL: Oh, wow. Vyvyan, man, you broke your own submarine! [VYVYAN grabs SPG and starts pummelling him with the hammer] VYVYAN: You bastard! I've shown you a great deal of consideration over the years but THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE! YOU'RE GOING OUT TO PLAY WITH THE SHARKS! [VYVYAN takes SPG and walks outside. CUT to water scene. A SHARK is swimming, as SPG swims by] SHARK: Hello, are you lunch? SPG: Is that you, Jaws? I think you're great! I've seen all your films! Can I have your autograph? SHARK: [sighs] It's a bore I know, but, you know, I'd miss it if they didn't ask.

MIKE: The definition of hunger: Too many guys, not enough food. All we've got to do is change the ratio! And Neil's come up with the answer. NEIL: Oh! MIKE: Yeah, there's only one problem. Who's going in the pot? [long pause. RICK has a grin on his face] RICK: ME! [to NEIL] No, him. It was a joke!

RICK: Shut up, Neil! Shut up! [NEIL continues to babble. JERZEI starts screaming] Shut up! Shut up! BLOODY SHUSH! SHUSH! [runs to the door where JERZEI is trying to cut his way in] There's nobody in here, Mr. Balowski! We're all holo grams

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Favourite Quotes - Demolition
                                                             Oil
                                                              Boring
                                                              Bomb
                                                              Interesting
                                                              Flood
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