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realname: Deadly_Shop_of_Horror
comment: I have always suspected you were having some problems from passivity from what you had written in the roper forum; glad you are seeing the light ...
You're mindset is still too passive, but I see improvement. Keep learning and don't be hesitant to destroy your own viewpoints on the world, it makes them more structured.
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URL: http://www.roperisdumb.com/roperboard/viewtopic.php?t=7917
Author: Deadly_Shop_of_Horror
Most people have a flawed viewpoint of chivalry. Some men think that it is some sort of magicical mind blowing set of social rules designed to get close to a girl or to get into her panties even. Others say that it is the proper way to treat a girl, while others avoid the concept.Some even say that Chivalry is dead. In reality, there really isn't a clear view of what chivalery really means. You can say that there are a few sterotypical viewpoints, historical, societal and cultural, and individualistic for example.
From a societal/cultural viewpoint chivalery has varying meanings depending upon what cultural/social strata an individual belongs to. Meanings in one culture can transverse and conflict with other cultures, making something entirely acceptable in one be rude and vulgur in another. For example, in the American culture the appropiate number of flowers in a bouquet normally consist of a dozen. However, in european cultures aquiring anything other than an odd number of flowers in a bouquet would be considered rude and unthoughtful.
Individual viewpoints also vary on the basis of perception. Not much to explain here, but I'm sure that you can think of examples yourself if you need to.
From a historical viewpoint chivalry would not appeal to most. It origionally began as a creed and warriorscode used by the Christian cburch to train monks and crusaders and had little emphasis on how to treat women.Although, throughout the 13th to 17th century the concept began to change from a means of living to a way of life involving the unquestionable obedience to the wives of nobleman with hidden love affairs and suppressed emotions of men for the women of other men. Unfortunatelly, it has been this concept that has influenced the modern view of chivalry and not the origional concept of chivalry, which started as something entirely different and has evolved to various extreemes, which brings us to the point or writting.
It is a very notable and honest fact that men who hold to the concept of chivalry as it stands in modern times normally don't have much success with women. It would be easy to place the blame on chivalry itself, saying that chivalry caused the errors of ways and unsuccesses in the lives of such men. If I said this, it would be entirely untrue. The reason that these men emphasize chivalry is because they are not successful with women anyways regardless. They emphasize respect and decency to women and believe that if they supplicate so much, all their problems will go away and women will like and want to be around them. What these men do not realize is that their own efforts cause their own undueing, and actually turn women off more than they would taking they would not supplicate. In brief, these types of men unintentionally attempt to pay women off in lue of their own self-defeating viewpoints nd often false perceptions of their own selves. The problem is not with the fact that these men are chivalrous, which women often do appreciate; the problem lies within the fact that they overdue their already falsified self-preceived acts of chivalry to the point thatthat is the only thing that girls note from their interactions of them. Instead of radiating charm and charisma, theses desperate men cause these same girls to become scared and often feeling harassed and manipulated. The sad part is that is that if these same men kept their composure and let things flow naturally without the unneeded supplication, they would be that much more successful taking that most of these girls who bother dating or getting to know them even them probably already like them anyhow before they turned into wussy chump pets and supplicants. That only goes to show you the clueless nature of the vast majority of men who don't realize the simplicity of a few issues involving women.
It is also a very notable and honest fact that men who do not emphasize or hold to chivalry tend to appear more successful with women than their more timid counterparts. By now the reason for this should be blatently obvious. Men who are already successful with women have no reason to emphasize anything because they do so naturally, calmly, and often without thought or even knowledge of what it is that they do right even! There are varying degress of two types of these men, basically, good and bad. The good guy is really the nice guy that women say that they want, and could basically be described as a nice guy with a backbone.The bad guy is the jerk that men often claim women like so much, but don't and still spend time with anyways, though not for very long or atleast until they have sought out a nice guy to complain and milk sympathy from, then it's back to the jerk; girls who do this are often immature, fake, and just shallow as shallow as the jerk himself. on the other hand, good girls tend to be more mature and will seek out good guys and avoid the jerk and his games once they are spotted.
When it comes to mate selection women are often not that perticular. In reality, women will actually have sex and form relationships will all types of men, whether they be nice, good, or bad. The only reason that it appears that the jerks win is because men with nicer qualities tend to fail to persue good opportunities for relationship and sex when they present themself, while the jerk selfishly hoards and actively creates opportunities for himself. Good men tend to have just as much sex as the jerk, but not with as many women if even more than one. Nice guys fail to procure sex and relationships as a result of their own deep seeded shame of themselves and poor self-worth, unless of course a nice guy finds a girl who is willing to do all the work, but whether she has issues herself is another thing altogether.
Then there are the guys who actually have some success with girls by not caring about them. The reason that these guys are successful is because they are good men who have some apparent qualities that interest girls or bad men who play games using cocky logic and mystery to attract the shallow and immature girls. Basically, these men are in the driver's seat and can afford not to care because there will always be someone better coming along to accompany or entertain them. Whereas the niceguy sees himself in a world of waste and desolation, the world is a plentiful paradise to these men. No need to worry when you live in a world of plenty.
Despite its evolution chivalry is really neither a good or bad thing. I suppose that if a man was to use chivalry to attempt to makeup for some defencies meanwhile placing a woman onto an undeserved position of authority then that would be a bad thing. On the other hand, showing a girl who likes and appreciates you already herself some deserved appreciation through acts of chivalry is a totally awesome thing that should be encouraged taking that it is not overdone.
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