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Stories
is something I enjoy to do.
Come to think of it, it's something which I demand! If I can't talk I shall go mad. Writing poetry has been a substitute for talking for quite some time now. But I have found lots of people to talk to now and I've not written as much poetry lately as I usually do.

When I say I've found people to talk to I mean via e-mail, and one actual person within my range of hearing. On e-mails I can talk for as long as I wish and I get such long and absolutely delicious letters as response. But I am kind of strange. I don't seem to get the words through my vocal cords as easily as through my fingers. But I think that may be due to the fact that I've never had much practice at it. I have lots to say and I think a lot, but I can't make myself say them aloud.

You see, my best friend, Annika by name, moved south when we were in second grade and I somehow took it as a personal insult that they had to move. I could intellectually understand that it wasn't her fault and that she really didn't want to move, but subconsciously and emotionally I "knew" she just wanted to get away from me.
Aren't you strange when you are a child? Anyway I was really hurt and I didn't want to get friends with anyone else for a long time. And when I finally realised that I did not like being alone all the time and not having a friend to talk to, noone wanted to be friends with me.

I started reading to have something to do. And some company. And consolation. I was bullied on account of being such a weak and likely victim of bullying. So I learned not to bother about others as they always hurt me anyway. Like all victims of bullying do. They know that if they raise a fuss and scream and protest it'll only get worse.

The bullying stopped, like it usually does when the victim's not being cooperative and starts crying. I would normally give them biting replys. This period in my life is also when my scepticism developed.

I'm a big sceptic. I never thought about it, but I realised I am a couple of years ago when my classmates commented on it. I might have known it before, consciously that is, but I never talked much so I couldn't get response.
That doesn't mean that I don't listen and won't accept anything. I listen, I accept, if you can come up with arguments to persuade me. Not many have. I love discussing things with others, if I can get the chance to listen to them first and then respond in my own time and with my own words. My little brother has been an expert at bending those :)

96-11-11

Late addition: My little brother's comment on that last line.
(With his best Inspector Clouseau accent): Yeah, right, and monkeys might fly out of my butt!
His exact words were: (with Swedish spelling)
Jää rajjt and mankis majjt flajj aut off majj butt!

Now you see what I've been living with?

96-11-11

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