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AT&T Cable Monopoly: Anatomy of Annoyance: So, I moved in August, and the move went relatively well. (If you didn't read it, check it out in About Septy.) I would have said that things went extremely well, except AT&T decided to try to piss me off. Weeks before we moved, I called the cable company to set up the appointment to install it on the day we moved in. Our TV was there, Kitty was waiting patiently at the new apartment for the appointment that they said would happen some time between 8:00 AM and 6:00 PM. The doorbell was broken, and when it rang, it only gave off a faint buzzing sound. Kitty ran downstairs and saw the cable installation guy pulling out. So when we finally got all of our crap moved into the apartment, around 11:00AM, I called the cable company to see if we could get the guy back. The first person that I talked to said that the cable guy was still in the neighborhood and that they would send him back that day and that she would call back in an hour. I was satisfied with that, and went about unpacking stuff- two went by, I was pissed. So I called the cable company back and talked to a different person, she told me that they would definitely call me back before 5:00PM. The next day I still hadn't been called, and I was not pleased. I called and talked to yet another representative who said that they could reschedule me in a month. He asked if I would prefer a Thursday or Friday appointment, and I told him that I would prefer neither and that I would never use AT&T cable serves again. So it's been a few months and I haven't had cable, but you know what, I really don't care. I'm thinking about getting a satellite dish, but hey as long as AT&T doesn't get my money, who cares?Internet Killed the Video Star
I was walking down the street a few weeks ago when I saw McTallica on the sidewalk panhandling with a large sign that said, "Will play crappy music for food". Yes, McTallica is yet the washed up bunch of sell-outs to fall victim to a problem that is the scourge of all of America, mp3 piracy, the crime we all pay for.
This year alone, the recording titans may have lost up to dozens of dollars to the horrible profiteers who prey on starving musicians forcing hundreds of has-been rock, rap, top 40, and yes, even country stars into fields such as dentistry or accounting just to pay for their drug habits. Long gone are the days of paying $18.95 for the latest releases, when now, greedy people can go to those evil pirate sites, and with a short five hour download have the single of their choice. How much longer can companies like Sony, Columbia, and Polygram when their sales have dwindled to nothing?
Or at least that's what the recording giants would like us to believe.
So the recording industry props up groups like McTallica to complain about how much money that they are losing because of those vile pirates. But Napster users more cd's on average than most people. Record companies complain about the money that they are losing, but their revenue and sales are up over last year and the year before. (And those years were over the previous and so on.)
As far as I see it, the record industry and many of the bands have forgotten what they are there for, their fans. People need to wake up and realize that they are being abused by the system, artists, and fans alike. It seems that far to many in the recording industry see the fans as sources of capital, they have forgotten that their first job is to entertain. A simple caution for every recording "artist" who whined about Napster, if you forget the people who made you popular, they will forget you back.
How the Merchandising Bonanza Stole Christmas
After more than thirty years it finally happened, the Grinch one one. Yeah, all of that "Christmas is in our hearts" and "Christmas is about more than presents and overcommercilization"- LIES! A vicious pack of filthy lies! Thanks to the magic of Hollywood we can finally be rid of this terrible falsehood.
So this tale that was originally about the overcommercilization of Christmas became a movie with an ass-load of commercial tie ins- Visa, Radio Shack, Rite Aid, Wendy's, Sprite, Nabisco snacks, toys, movie commercials, radio and print ads. Good thing they didn't over do it. I don't know if they completely missed the message of the story, they set up this ad campaign to be satirical of holiday fervor (that went wrong), or this is a way of ruining yet another classic. (I have to go with the Onion on this, a picture of the Grinch with the caption "Another Fond Childhood Memory Destroyed". I couldn't have summed it up better myself.)
And let me not forget Jim Carrey is the Grinch. Yes, my favorite one trick pony reprises that zany character that he played in the Mask and Batman Forever. Such extent and range, oh boy, do another over-the-top sill voice, I swear that we didn't see it coming! If you put him in green furry make-up, it'll be completely different.
What was the point behind the movie? Is the movie industry so bereft of ideas that they have to steal so badly from the past? Was it an insatiable profit hunger or just stupidity that it complete missed the point of the story. I guess we shouldn't be too surprised when someone remake Romeo and Juliet, and neither of them die at the end. That'll be an instant classic.
Love Thy Neighbor, Unless You Really Don't Feel Like It Volume III.
During this season of peace and love help the homeless
keep warm by setting them on fire. Beautify your neighborhood, cut
down your neighbor's trees so the don't have to get a ladder out to decorate
the tops. Go to a performance of the Nutcracker and throw marbles
on the stage. Put grenades in the toys for the poor boxes.
Cut someone's brakes. Pee into Salvation Army buckets, and if the
bell-ringer gives you a hassle, pee on him or her too. For a festive
wintery touch, dump buckets of water on people's sidewalks after you sweep
the salt away in the middle of the night. Cut the power lines to
your gramma's house. Dress up like Santa, go to the mall, give the
kids chocolate chip cookies made with laxatives, then tell them that you
killed and ate the reindeer, and that Christmas is canceled this year.
'Tis the season of love- go to the grocery store and insist that you have
the right to make sweet love to every ham and turkey that you see.
Set a tire fire. Volunteer at an old folks home and steal their pension
money- if you don't get it, their ungrateful children will. Commit
voter fraud to win the presidency. Wrap empty boxes up and put them
under the tree, videotape your Children's reactions when they open them.
Go to a bar and put $10 in quarters in the juke box, play the same song
over and over again, then leave. Give flavored condoms to nuns.
Load your friends' shampoos full of Nair. Go to a fast food restaurant,
order a hamburger, take a dump on the bun, then order a refund. Go
to a play ground and put grease on the seats of the swings and seesaws.
Find a nativity scene and replace the Mary statue with an atomically correct
blow-up doll. Listen to Howard Stern. Instead of giving to
charity in someone else's name, threaten the president for him or her instead.
Have your parents committed to an asylum, straightjackets are the gifts
that keep on giving. Get some friends together to volunteer at a
suicide hotline and bet to see who can push the most callers over the edge.
Drop a bunch of ecstasy, and run on to people's porches claiming to be
god and offering to fly them around on your space ship. What six
year old wouldn't want to be a member of the "porn of the month" club?
When decorating your house, aim spotlights into your neighbor's bedroom
windows- extra points for the kid's rooms. Break the ice at the office
party by dropping your pants whenever someone walks by. Wouldn't
your grandpa love a pair of nipple clamps as a gift? Show your kids
how much you love them by sending them to a military academy. But
most of all, have yourself a merry little Christmas, and a happy New Year.
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