The Rogue's Gallery.

Flappy the Bird Man:  So I was on the bus one day and I proceed to sit in the back.  (That way I get to watch the insanity as it unfolds and none of the maniacs that frequent Pittsburgh's Port Authority Transit can sneak up behind me.)  But anyway, I noticed someone else get on and start to make a commotion.  He sat down in his seat and started to have a great conversation- with the voices in his head.  It looked very interesting, I wanted to join in.  But anyway, during his one-man conversation he was flapping his arms up and down wildly, like a pigeon trying to get airborne.  But unfortunately for him he stayed on his seat.  This is one of those guys that make me really happy that I'm no longer working at Conveyance Hell, (aka, the locus of all suffering in Oakland) because I'm sure he was going there later that night.

Psychto the Clown:  I got a phone call from my Project Administrator , and we were talking about getting a new computer in our office.  (The computer that I work on there is a 133 MHz Pentium 1, and it was the second newest one in there.  The older ones are pre-pentium.)  But she told me about this strange person who was in the lobby of her building.  There is a schizophrenia clinic in the building, so many of my Rogues frequent the place, but he was new.  This man had clown make-up on: painted white face, smile, rosy cheeks- the whole nine yards.  He also wore an oversized red tie with polka dots.  And the rest of his clothes were normal street clothes- not a clown outfit, but clothes a normal (used loosely, this is Oakland) person would wear.  I had to take some paperwork over to her office, so I was excited that I'd get to see him- I've had a myriad of encounters with Rogues in that building.  But when I got there, he was gone.  I was bummed, but a few days later I was on the bus going home, I saw him on the street, looking just like he was described to be with one big surprise...

Psychtette the Clown:  Psychto the Clown has company!  I don't know if she's his wife, sister, or just fellow lunatic, but there she was walking down the street with him.  She had on similar make-up and a tie, and normal clothes.  As Bob Ross always used to say, "Everyone needs a friend."  I must meet these people, and if I do, there will be in an update.
 

Moving day, oh fun, oh fun.

    I lived in Oakland for many, many years.  I lived in the dorms in college, I lived in South Oakland when I first started working at Conveyance Hell, then I moved to North Oakland with Kitty Catastrophe- my best friend and loyal fag hag.  But there are only so many whack jobs, drunken fraternitards and sorostitutes, V.A.G.R.A.N.T.'s, over-priced rat holes called apartments, and mystery smells that someone can take.  When my slumlord tried to jack our rent up $50 more per month, we admitted that we both had had enough of him and Oakland.  In March we started looking for a new apartment.  On our short list of areas to look in were: Shadyside, Regent Square, Squirrel Hill, and the Strip District.  We looked an looked for months, and then July come- we needed to find something fast.  While at work, someone said something about Mt. Washington to Kitty in passing, and she decided that we should look there.  Within two weeks we found a place and made a down payment, and had the place for the beginning of August.

    I was relieved that we finally had a place to live in, and thought that everything would turn out fine.  I can be so silly sometimes.

    The next challenge was to find a moving company.  (I was not dragging my crap up two flights of stairs.)  "How hard could that be, the phone books loaded with them" I thought to myself.  A few days later the horror became apparent.  Most weren't available until the middle of September.  One guy gave ma a line about not being allowed to go north of Mt Washington.  Many wanted to charge us lots of money.  Even more sounded completely disreputable.  After wading through a sea of crap, I finally got one set for the 11th of August.  That was good, because we had to be out of the old slum by the 15th of August.

    So finally, August 1st came, and we called the Realtor to get the keys for the new place.  "The old tenant hasn't moved out yet" I was surprised by that.  "He'll be out by the 3rd, then we'll need a few days to clean the place and paint it."  OK, no problem, "You'll be able to get the key on Monday."  Fine, we didn't have to move until Friday.  So, Monday no call, Tuesday rolls around, and still no call.  Wednesday, I start to panic, I call.  "Well, we haven't been able to get into the apartment to paint."  I told her that we needed the key because we were moving there in two days.  "Well, you can come on get the keys tomorrow then."  So on Thursday, my boss, Kitty and I went to the Realtor's office to get the keys, then came to our wonderful new apartment.  We carried the first bunch of crap up the building stairs to the door, and put in the key and turned it.  It would have opened at that point, but there was a combination entry key pad on the door, and we were not told the entry sequence.  So, we had to venture back to the office before the closed so we could get in the next day.  Finally, we got out first load of crap into the apartment, and went back to the old place to get the second load.

    The next day, the movers came a hour late and the leader gave me a bunch of attitude.  Kitty had already took a cab to be at the new place when they arrived.  She called me to ask how the progress was going with the movers.  I think that I would have had a much better story to recount here, if I had not mentioned a tip that was in serious jeopardy.  After that the movers were courteous and quick.  The problem that day was with AT&T Cable Services, but that story is in Tirade.