Pablow Von Cheezbizket'z: Bytes Wholesale
(An E-Zine)
Warning:
As far as you know, this page is currently under construction.A little About Us...
We here at PVC's Bytes Wholesale pride ourselves in sharing nothing but the best, professional quality web entertainment. Not only do we serve as a beacon (not bacon as commonly believed) in the sea of "webtainment", we pride ourselves as providers of a vast reservoir of useless information. All of our information is made with loving care to the exacting standards that have been a Cheezbizket family hallmark since 1854, when grand daddy Cheezbizket set up the first internet site. He later went on to invent such popular items as the wheel and that wonderful Twinkie filling that never becomes more eerily indedible than when it's spewed forth from the factory floor. We age all our information in fine oak barrels to bring out that ever so slight flavor of tradition and obsolescence.
Contained deep within the bowels of our GREYtm Supercomputer are entire BYTES full of information stored carefully to avoid fact seepage! And it's all FREE! Why pay millions of dollars for inferior, or worse, TRUE information from other web sites when you can get it for FREE here? At PVC's Bytes Wholesale we guarantee a certain amount of untruth, confusion and ambiguity to be engineered into every page. Furthermore, we will warn you every time (note: the meaning of the term "every time", as with everything, is subject to our whim and fancy) we are telling the truth by placing an asterisk after the text, or, if we feel like it, we may italicize it. Or, if you're really lucky, we will place our patented TRUTH graphic at the top of a page that contains mostly true text!
Remember folks, we may invent some... er... LOTS of information, but it's only because we know you couldn't handle the truth. We lie because we care.
Click Here for our all new theme song!*
What's New:
*Visit Our Brand New Stress Hotline and get your problems solved.. how much could it hurt? (6-14-98)
*Learn about The Evils of Bill Gates in the Newsbytes page! (6-19-98)
*Check out our new Bill Gates-Steve Jobs morph on the Newsbytes Page! (6-22-98)
*Find our secret buttons (6-22-98)
*We've updated the Q&A section, check it out (8-1-98)
* PVC's Stress Hotline has a new addition, be afraid, be very afraid (8-1-98)
*The wall of wisdom has it's first bit of er... wisdom. (8-1-98)
*Yet another stressful addition (8-12-98)
*Check out our new link to the WFRP Adventure Collection (8-14-98)
PVC's Features...
Q&A:* This section is filled with your questions about us, this page, life in general, you name it, it's here... or will be.
The Wall of Wisdom:* This is where we put all the odd bits of writing, philosophy, humor, etc. which is mailed to us, or we find on the internet....
Things I've Read on Fortune Cookies:* In this link, we explore the wonderous philosophies surrounding the mystical, the mysterious, the mythic.... the Fortune Cookie.
Bill Clinton Dances With Wally The Wonder Chicken: Need we say more? Explaining this link would be self defeating.
The International Church of Uncertainty:* Learn about the philosophy of the middle path, and a religion which is not only confusing, but embraces misunderstanding!
This is one of our personal favorites, and whether you know it or not, it's yours' too!
The Hypnotism Page:* Click here! You'll like it! You have no choice! You know you want to!
News Bytes:* It's finally here! The amazing, the fabulous, PVC's News Bytes page! Click here for all the latest in news and world events as explained by PVC himself. Be afraid, be very afraid. Learn the TRUTHtm about the world! Twisted news for twisted minds!
PVC's Stress Hotline: You've got a problem? We've got 10! In this, our advice column, we attempt to give the reader a cheerier slant on life. Click now, operators are standing by!
Basic Features...
Links*
Rants*
Visit our Friends at...
(These are the links that are just too cool to be hidden in the Links Page! Visit our Partners in Crime!)
-This site is filled with useful things and stuff! Plus, it has lots of other doodads with neat graphics and funny bits of things! I highly recommend that you visit it before the whatchamacallits and the doohickeys get completely garbled and confusticated and you miss out on the.. er.. what's the word... um...... oh yeah, fun.*
-This site is the home of a gargantuan alliance run by long time good friend and all around orange guy, Joshua Cannon. Go there lest you be the last person on your block without diplomatic ties to the TERRAN LEAGUEtm. (Note: If you don't play on www.solariagames.com then you won't have a clue as to what it's all about)
-Also, click here for Master Oranges' Dictator of the Day page! PVC is dictator of the day 23 days running!
-This is the official, horribly neglected, house Mysticus Webpage. If you're into the SCA then you may want to check out this site....*
-This site holds volumes of accessories and information for Warhammer Fantasy RolePlay. A great site for any gamer.
Coming Soon...
The Conspiracy*
PVC's Cheese of the Month Club*
The Stuff You Always Find at the Bottom of Webpages, and More...
Feel free to E-mail me: Cheezbzket@AOL.Com*
Well, not TOO free...
Or
Send your complaints to our Complaints Department
by clicking below:
Send us Your Complaints
Last Updated: 8/14/98*
Legal Jargin:
This page was created and is updated periodically by Isaac Newman. All graphics (except the copper bar and the Geocities Logo) copyright 1996, 1997, 1998 Isaac Newman, all rights reserved. This webpage was created with Macromedia's Backstage Designer. Graphics were created using Photostyler (with Kai's power tools), Macromodel, Photoshop and Gallery Effects.*
Legal Note: Anything in this page that may or may not be found offensive, annoying, and/or objectionable by anyone /anything viewing, reading, listening to, or in strange and perverse cases, feeling this webpage does not exist. If you do find yourself being annoyed or offended by this page or its' contents please see a doctor immediately as you are obviously hallucinating.
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Yet Another Blatant Plug:
PVC's Bytes Wholesale, "More than just a nifty screensaver, a webpage too!"
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A Little Truth...
This line of text is entirely true.*