Has life got you down? Are you plagued by feelings of inadequacy? Stress is one of the biggest problems in our utterly modern, thoroughly metropolitan society. In order to remedy the situation we have created this page as a forum for complaints, problems and all in all stress relief. This is an area where you can put down all the things that are driving you nuts! And, if you like, you can solicit the advice of Mr Pablow Von Cheezbizket himself. Who better to solve your problems than the man.. er.. being, whose middle name is "problem". Well, that's his other middle name anyway.
last week i was at the park. i was gonna feed the ducks so i brought a loaf of bread that i bought special. wile i was there i saw sum guy feeding the ducks to. he was feeding them old crusty moldy bread. i thought that was wrong, but i wasn't sure. the next day i tried feeding the ducks old bread. they ate it ok. but i felt guilty cuz i wouldnt eat old bread. is it ok to feed ducks old bread?
signed "quack question" from sacramento
Dear Quack
There are two routes to go in this situation. Your first option is to start eating moldy bread yourself. If it's good enough for you, it must be good enough for the ducks. Your second option is to feed the ducks twinkies instead, they're packed full of sugar which will give the ducks that extra energy they need to fly south, or to flee from people throwing crusty bread at them, plus, twinkies never get moldy.
-PVC
pvc,
Ok, see. there's this really big building on my way to work. Every time I go past it I think that the people in the top floor are going to spit on me. but they never do. darn. how can i make them spit?
signed,
spitless in seattle
Dear Mr. spittlely challenged,
You wouldn't believe how common this problem is. It's all too rare these days that people will even bother to give you the time of day, never mind go out of their way to spit at you. However, I am quite the expert in this area, and believe me when I say it is still quite possible to find someone to spit at you. If you truly wish to do this there are several ways to go about it, but I think that, by far the easiest way, would be to walk down the street singing Barney Songs and wearing a sweater that says "I'm rich and you're not so nyah!".
-PVC
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