Things that would NEVER be said in LOTR

Pippin: Are we going to see the Shire again?
Merry: Yes.
Pippin: Are you SURE?
Merry: Yes....
Pippin: Are you surely sure?
Merry: Yes....
Pippin: Are you so sure that--
Merry: ARGH! WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!

*In the middle of battle*
Legolas: Caw!!! This is getting REALLY boring!!! *To Gimli* Do you want to help me fill in this cross word?
Gimli: Which question are you stuck on?
Legolas: *reads from magazine* "Who does Orlando Bloom play in Lord of the Rings?"
I could have sworn i knew this one!

Gimli: i can't believe i will die fighting side by side with an Elf..
Legolas: i know it sucks!

Frodo: *stares at the ring* wait there are inscription its some form of elvish i can't read it
Gandalf:there are few who can...in the common tongue it says "if found please return to Sauron at 23 mount doom, mordor."

Bilbo: Frodo! Frodo...its so nice to---OH!*has a heart attack and dies*
Frodo: OMG! BILBO!

*Pippin leaving for Minas Tirith* Merry will we see each other again?
Merry: Not likely i have a date *checks watch* oh well i have to go..hey can u give me a ride?

*Witch King: is on fell beast as it starts to fall coz its wings fall off*
Witch King: oh no! already ran out! quick, here's some red bull!
*fell beast drinks can of red bull and its wings grow back*
Witch King: phew, that was close!

Corpses underwater: *singing* Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun! Wandering free, wish I could be, part of that world!
Director: Can we please STOP going into songs from Disney movies!?

Frodo: Sam, I wonder what these words on the ring say...*looks at ring thoughtfully*
Sam: I know what they mean. They say "Give the ring to Sam so he can be the Ringbearer"
Frodo: Wow, really? Well, okay!*gives ring to Sam*

*The Two Towers scene where Aragorn falls off the rock*
*switch to scene where he comes back* HALLUIGH! HALLIUGH! HALLIUGH!
Aragorn: *whacks sound effect man*