Chapter 3

Adam awoke to the smell of steaming hot Jolt Cola wafting in from the kitchen, "Damn, I forgot to set that thing for my weekend wakeup time, SHEESH!" he said, just as the CyberClockInfoCaster turned itself on, in the nick of time for the start of Muffy Blacks' perky morning news report.

"Topping the news this morning was yesterdays mysterious spread of an extremely viral strain of the 'Russian Flu'. No one knows where it started, but its effects are certainly well documented! In the Corporate Annex alone an estimated 40,000 people fell victim to the insidious virus, such as these workers in the NanoSoft infirmary yesterday, where the outbreak was first recorded..." Adam winced at the memory, but refused to look at the display field just in case the vidcamera caught him bushing in his wastepaper basket, "...It is not yet determined whether the virus is a result of corporate bickering or not, stay tuned to this station for further news as it happens! Now on to last nights statistics. Most violent crimes escalated last night, due to the flu epidemic said officials, although a tremendous decrease was seen in rapes and theft. The actual statistics are..."

Adam shut off the broadcast, and got out of bed.

"Oh, well. I suppose I might as well start the day, there's no chance of getting back to sleep after smelling Jolt Cola." he mumbled as he made his way into the kitchen and poured himself a big steaming mug of Jolt. "Ah, that hits the spot!"

Adam could not recall a time that he saw a scroffier looking group waiting for the maglev. There were four of them a man and women, presumably married, a wide eyed young boy, and an equally wide eyed teen aged girl. They were all dressed similarly, the males in a flannel shirt, overalls, and mud caked boots. And the women in dresses, the older one wore a faded blue callico pattern dress and the younger was dressed in a blue dress that was straining to contain her ample brests; the younger one winked at Adam after making a point of looking him up and down then slowly licking her upper lip with the tip of her tongue.

Adam turned red, and tried to find something to occupy his attention.

"Wow Pa! Lookit the size of dem buildin's, heee" exclaimed the young boy.

"Thats nothin Billy-Bob, why whens I wuz a young pup like yu I took me to the big sprawl of New York! Theys got big buildin's der what dey call 'SpaceScrapers', heee."

"Wow, Pa! Could I go der sumtime?"

"Hey your tourists aren't you, eh?" interrupted Adam, "I don't get to meet many people from outside of the PortCouver Metroplex, where are you from?"

"Weiz frum Kansas, heee." stated the older man

"Pleased to meet you, my name is Adam, Adam Null."

"Likewise, Adam Adam Null. I'm Jed and this is my wife Sara Lee, my daughter Mary Lou, and my son Billy-Bob-Jim-JohnBoy, heee."

"What do you do in Kansas, I hear that it's really flat and treeless there,eh?"

"We raise corn, heee." stated Jed, sticking his chest out with pride.

"Do you have a factory there that pops it all?", queried Adam

Jed turned to his family and muttered 'City-Slicker', then turned to Adam to reply, "Naw, we's jus add the yeast that allows the corn to raise, our neighbors, the Redenbekkers do all da actual poppin',heee."

This next section is after the run (yeah, we never wrote the run!!!)

Adam was so freaked by his discovery that he just made a run against his own corporation that he failed to notice that he was no longer alone until he removed the head display and hands closed over his eyes and a soft feminine voice said:

"Guess who?"

Being a fairly intelligent person who was on edge, Adam did the logical thing; he screamed and jumped out of his chair. Forgetting just how small his apartment was, he slammed squarely into the wall knocking himself cold.

Sometime later Adam came to his senses. He immediately realized that something was seriously wrong. He found himself laying in bed stark naked. After a few moments of telling himself that it was all just a dream he decided to try opening his eyes. He was greeted with Daizee pouncing on the bed and laying a huge, wet kiss on him.

"Ghaack..." was the only reply Adam could think of in such short notice.

Suddenly, the window shattered amid a hail of gun fire and both Adam and Daizee rolled to the floor. The gunfire stopped as abruptly as it had started and both said in unison:

"Shit, someone's shooting at me!"

Daiz crawled over to the window and grabbed a 3mm Gauss gun from her duffle bag and began to lay down a field of cover fire as she yelled to Adam to get dressed and get ready to run.

Moments later Adam, white as a sheet, crawled over to where Daiz was laying.

"Take this." said Daiz, shoving another gun identical to her own into Adam's face, "And let's get outta here!"

They crawled to the front entrance and after checking to see if everything was clear Daiz ran toward the stairwell leading to the domestiplex's underground garage. Arriving at the door she stopped and discovered that Adam was still at the doorway of his apartment.

"What are you waiting for genejunk, a fraggin' engraved invitation?!"

As if in answer the loud crash of orbital alloy crashing through a cheap domestiplex exterior wall announced the arrival of the unknown assailant. Adam glanced behind him into the apartment and, being a fairly intelligent person, did the logical thing he screamed and ran toward the stairwell.

"About time." said Daiz, sarcastically as Adam passed her by faster than any 'off the shelf' human should be able to run, "Hey, wait for me ."

Upon entering the garage Daiz led Adam to a vintage '56 Chevy Bel-Air in immaculate shape, it's Turtle-polymered finish gleaming brightly under the sun-like illumipaint. What really caught Adam's eye, however, was the gold hood ornament that resembled the Russian Rodina, except that in testament to Glastnost's success, she clutched an Optima card in her raised right hand; symbolizing the great Soviet Socialist Corpocracy.

The doors opened automatically when Daiz shouted 'opensezme' and Adam slid into the bench seat, covered with supple, authentic leather

"What the hell is going on here?" asked Adam, in a hysteric voice.

"Look Adam, it's a real long story and we don't have time to tell it right now. So, just sit back, enjoy the ride and pray that you live to hear it!". The silence in the garage was replaced suddenly whine of twin turbine engines coming to life, startling Adam who was expecting to hear the roar of an old internal combustion engine.

The car tore out of the parking garage, plowing down several of the slower red clad members of the Rajneeshi Revival group that had just moved in to the domestiplex across the road.

"Damn" stated Daiz, "Blood is so hard to remove from the grill of this car!"

Racing down the street the Bel-Air made a quick right turn to avoid T-boning a Hyundai Super LX. Adam failed to anticipate the corner and was flung to the left of the car, his face landing on Daizee's firm bosum.

"Ah-hem." said Daiz, grinning. Adam pulled away, his face as red as Daiz's lip- dye.

Adam stole a glance out of the back window of the speeding car and immediately wished that he had not. A humanoid shaped cyborg burst through the front doors of the domestiplex and once on the street it bent and twisted itself into the rough semblance of a late model YamaHarley Special Edition, complete with leather seats and hypercharged turbine.

"Oh, Jesu Christus!" said Adam to himself, "I'm really beginning to despise Mondays!"

"What's wrong?" asked Daiz, eavesdropping on Adam's conversation with himself

"I just saw a Transforminator." stated Adam, bordering on hysteria.

"Is that all?" queried Daiz, unperturbed.

"Is that all?!" shouted Adam, "Just a fraggin' top of the line hunter-killer droid and all you can say is 'Is that all?'!!!"

"Well, it does explain a lot." stated Daiz, thoughtfully, "Now I know who is trying to kill me!"

"Kill you! It blew MY apartment to hell, not yours!"

"But I was in your apartment snookums." Daizee, or any woman for that matter, had a wonderful way of interrupting Adam and clearing all of his mental data pointers-just bring up sex, or anything remotely pertaining to it.

"Here, give this a try." suggested Daiz, handing Adam the 3mm Uzi Gauss gun, which he had dropped onto the seat and forgotten.

"Sure" said Adam, turning around he aimed the gun at the metallic obscenity that was gaining on them.

"NO!! Not in here!!" yelled Daiz; too late. Adam's finger squeezed the hair trigger, the small caliber Dum-Dum's turning the Chevy's rear window into a fine glass powder. Adam missed the Transforminator completely, emptying the entire clip, in the matter of 6 seconds, into a crowd of Hara-Krishnas, who where pestering a driver that had just parked his car.

"Shit!" said Adam, jumping into the back seat and replacing the spent clip with another full one. He carefully took aim at the accursed cyborg, "Eat Hot Bullets, Bullet Fodder!" he yelled, firing simultaneously with his newly acquired war cry. This time 1/2 of the 4000 round clip hit the cyborg, one of the bullets must have punctured the front tire because the cyborg began doing endoes. Adam was sure he saw it changing shape before it was obscured in a cloud of dirt and debris.

"Nice shooting Ace!" said Daiz, "Now I won't charge you for the rear window."

"What do you mean charge..." started Adam, only to be cut off by the sight of the Transforminator resuming pursuit. This time it was back to humanoid shape, except it had six wheels on each foot and it was skating after them gaining speed with each stride. "Here we go again." groaned Adam, finding another clip for the gun.

"It's gaining on us." observed Daiz

"No shit." said Adam, looking back as a pair of Bose speakers rose from the Transforminator's shoulders and music started blaring:

Stayin' Alive, Stayin' Alive
Ah, Ah, Ah, Ah
Stayin' Ali-i-ive...

Over and over and over and over again and again and again.

"Do something!" yelled Adam as the Cyborg got within range of grabbing the Bel-Air.

"Ok" said Daiz, "Hold on!" she added as she slammed on the brakes; the Bel-Air screeching tires, almost stopped on a dime.

"Holy S..." Adam started, only to be cut off as the grimy, industrial polluted air was knocked from his lungs by the back of the front seat.

"Shit!" said the Transforminator, in a very un-cyborg like manner as it hit the rear of the Bel-Air and catapulted 50 meters into the air. At the peak of the trajectory, the Transforminator executed a graceful and magnificent swan dive to disco music-right down into the Permex roadway. The Transforminator looked heavenward, raising his hands and shaking his head, just as a Vacu-Succ Corp street cleaner did just that-sucked up the cyborg like yesterdays trash.

A few moments later, the muffled disco music was replaced with a classical piece by Heathen, "Mercy is no virtue".

"It's mad now!" observed Daiz.

"What ever gave you that idea?" replied Adam, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Hey, why aren't we moving!" he added, just noticing that the car was stationary.

"Red light." stated Daiz, with such a contemptuous tone in her voice that suggested she learned how to drive in New York and never quite got the idea of being a patient motorist.

Eventually, the cyborg managed to fight it's way out of the brown paper vacuum bag and zeroed in on the Bel-Air, which was still stopped at a red light.

"What are we waiting for!" screamed Adam frantically looking from the red light to the approaching Transforminator.

"See that Donut Shoppe over there." replied Daiz not looking as she gestured toward the corner store.

"Yeah, so?" Adam sounded even more on edge after glancing out the back window again.

"Well it's full of police you moron."

"They didn't do anything during the shoot out..." said Adam, almost pleading

"Were you born yesterday, Adam.", admonished Daiz, "This is the Cyberpunk genre we're living in. You can do anything you want to as long as the cops can find something else to occupy their attention; I cross this intersection with 50 cops sitting at a We B Dunkin R Donuts and they have to react."

"WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING CYBORG THAT'S TRYING TO KILL US?" yelled Adam, gaining the attention of a few of the cops.

"No problem."replied Diaz, as she nonchalantly pulled out a StaticMaster(TM) mini EMP grenade and threw it into the cyborg's path.

The grenade went off, blasting unshielded electronics into an early neurosis in a ten block radius. The Transforminator stopped, momentarily blinded by the Electro-Magnetic Pulse, then resumed it's casual pace toward them, seemingly knowing Daiz's reluctance to piss off the cops and using the opportunity to look like a total Cybo-Stud to the throngs of humanity waiting at the red light; and to score points with it's superiors who were no doubt watching the entire pursuit.

"Apparently that didn't work, either." noted Daiz.

"No Shit! Try something else!" shouted Adam, again bordering on hysteria.

"You mean, like this?" asked Daiz, punching a few buttons on the completely digital dash board. The turbines began to roar as the Bel-Air rose gracefully into the crowded sky lanes, leaving a very disgusted Transforminator behind on the crowded street, only to get run over by the line of impatient motorists moving ahead to take the place the Bel Air had vacated.

"That series of Cyborg can't fly" stated Daiz, smuggly, "That's why we didn't go to the aircar garage back at the 'plex. They would have had it covered well."

"You could have flown away at anytime and you didn't..." sputtered Adam.

"Well, yes. But you seemed to be having so much fun."

"Fun!" said Adam, again bordering on hysteria, "We could have been killed."

"Spoilsport"

"This has got to be a dream." said Adam to himself, as he climbed back to the front seat.

The Bel-Air flew off into the grimy, pollution coated sunset.

"Good morning Boss!" said Adam, enthusiastically, into the videophone.

"Where the hell are you, Null."

"I won't be coming in this morning, boss."

"Obviously, where the hell are you, Null?" repeated his boss, seeming more impatient

"Well, you see, uh, there's this girl and, uh..."

"Cut the crap, where are you?" roared his boss

"The sprawl, sir." admitted Adam, meekly

"The sprawl!! How the hell did you get there?"

"Well, you see, uh, there's this girl and, uh, you see..."

"Never mind." interrupted the boss, "How soon can you get back to this coast."

"Tomorrow morning?"

"Ok, I'll see what I can do about keeping you from being fired. But no guarantee's."

"Thanks boss, I owe you one."

"Yeah, Null, just get back tomorrow. And Null?"

"Yeah boss."

"Since you're already in New York, could you stop by Ralph's Pizzaria and get me an order to go. Just tell them the usual for ol' Ferdinand; they'll remember."

"Ferdinand?"

"Don't push your luck, Null. Bye"

"Bye, boss. And thanks again."

"What did you do that for?" asked Daiz, sitting off to one side of the room.

"Do what?" replied Adam defensively

"Tell him where we are, idiot."

"He asked." stated Adam, meekly.

"Did you even think about tapped wires?"

"No." his voice even more subdued

"How about enforcers sitting in his office?"

"They didn't show on the screen." replied Adam his voice just above a whisper.

"Neither did I on his screen, shithead."

"Oh" came Adam's barely perceptable whisper.

"Look, Adam, I don't mean to yell at you. It's just that you need to be more careful, or we may end up dead; or worse."

"I will." said Adam, shuddering to himself about what could be worse than death, and not even dreaming about asking, afraid that Daiz would have an answer for him.

"Well, no harm done this time. Let's drive a few klicks and then find a hotel to get some rest."

At the Hotel

The hotel's elevator door chimed open, looking out onto a hallway done in red pseuso-velvet and synth-mahoghany; definitely not the best floor in the place.

"I can't believe you're scared of Gravtubes!" said Daiz with no small amount of disgust tinting her voice.

"It's true..." injected Adam, sheepishly

"Seven hundred and thirty one floors in a convetional elevator! Twenty nine point three minutes in a confined sweaty hell! Would have been forty seconds, top, in a Gravtube!"

"Sorry"

"Open the door" demanded Daiz, stopping by the door to their newly acquired hotel room.

"You have the key." stated Adam

"Oh shit," said Daiz checking her pockets, "I must have left it at the desk. Stay here I'll take the tube down and get it; back in a jiffy. Stay put!"

As Daiz stepped off into the tube, Adam put his hands in his pockets and leanded against the wall to wait and suddenly discovered that he did indeed have the key, "Christus, Daiz is going to kill me!" he said out loud. Thinking that maybe he should follow her and admit his mistake he walked over to the tube and doing the dumbest thing he could, he looked down. "Shit" he said stepping quickly back from the edge, "How could anyone use that."

"Easy you dweeb." said a little kid as he stepped off into the shaft and descended rapidly, but smoothly down toward the lobby.

"SmartAss" thought Adam to himself, not even daring to look down the shaft again.

Feeling a little uneasy just loitering in the hall he unlocked the door and went in. A few minutes passed before Daiz returned. She didn't even seem to notice that Adam had already got into the room and Adam was not about to broach the subject himself.

"I need a bath." stated Daiz, matter-of-factly, "Care to join me?" she added with a sudden warmth, her mood-irises changing from their normal blue to a bright pink.

"Uh, no thanks Daiz, maybe later I need a nap now." replied Adam

"Well, ok. At least you didn't come up with some off-the-wall excuse like you usually do. I'm begining to like you even more than I did!" she admitted, stopping briefly to ruffle Adam's hair before continuing on to the bathroom.

Adam was too tired to respond, and was soon sleeping like a brick.

Adam woke up to the aroma of a hot cup of coffee that was placed on a small table next to the bed. "Mmmuuhhraah," Adam groaned as he sat up to to take the steaming cup. "Gawd. It wasn't a dream," he muttered as he sipped the hot invigorating fluid. After getting his caffeine fix, he got up, putting on a set of clothes that were definitely not his own. After looking in the mirror for a moment, he really began to like his new threads. After all, black leather has always looked cool in any decade.

Walking into the main room, he saw Daizee laying prone on the couch half- wearing a large towel, snoring up a storm. Adam smirked as he quietly walked over to the couch. He picked up her clothes that were lying on the plush carpeted floor and began a thorough examination. After several minutes searching he found items that truly amazed him. A small single shot slug- thrower was concealed in a lip-dye applicator; a dozen C-6 micro-grenades were disguised as jacket buttons; a hidden pocket was sewn into her top, containing a truly miniature cyberdeck that was very flat and flexible; her panties' elastic was really det-cord; her wallet was stuffed with identi-cards, monie cards, and vid cards. Adam knew she had a few cyber-implants and could only wonder what sort of tricks she had built into that fine lithe body.

Adam began examining his own threads and discovered that many of the items that she had, he had also. Putting Daisy's clothes back, Adam's attention shifted to the hardware that rested on the kitchen table. It was a veritable arsenal, including such items as a half dozen Kilsemded gauss pistols, Blastimtabitz mini-RPG guns, Hotshotz micro-wave rifles, Bludngutz mono-crystal knives, a couple brass knuckles, and Nunchuks that made Adam whince as he remembered his ill fated attempt at a high speed between the legs from behind maneuver with a similar set.

Adam went back in the bedroom and watched the InfoCasts to see if anything was said about last night's escapade. The only thing mentioned was that anarchists attacked a domestiplex, killing some of its inhabitants. But then, that happens every night anyway. Adam got up to tell Daiz about what he just saw.

He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw her putting on her steel-toed boots, wearing only her black lycra pants and leather gloves. "Oh! You're up. Great!!," Daisy said as she put on a very thin black leather top. Donning her jacket, "Nice threads, hon. Rad to the max." she said. Adam thought he saw her wink at him. "Now lets go and get this over with," she said, heading toward the door, carrying the large khaki duffel bag now filled with the tabletop arsenal.

"Look 'Hon', I want answers and I want them NOW!!!".

Startled by the ferocity in his voice, Daizee closed the door, dropped the bag and sighed, "Okay. What do you want to know?"

"Everything, starting at the beginning." he said, crossing his arms and giving her a hard cold stare that bored right into her.

"Well, at first the universe was just a single hot lump, but then it exploded..."

"Not that far back!!! Don't play smart-ass with me!!" he yelled.

"Okay." she said as she reached into the back of her ultra-tight pants, pulled out a small cyber-card and tossed it to Adam. On it was the words, "Encloypediae Brittanica. 10'th Cyber edition."

"I was hired by Rottin to steal an antique from NanoSoft. In return I would get paid $10000 in gold. NanoSoft found out about the theft and sent the Transforminator after me. The reason I stripped you was so I could uh," she said blushing, "have a little fun. Having nearly gotten caught left me really horny."

"Yeah, right."

"Look, I know you don't believe me, but what matters now is getting that thing back to Rottin."

"What the hell is it that's so important to Rottin?"

"This," she said, handing him a small steel box. Adam opened it and beheld its contents: a cigarette pack sized black cartridge that had "PONG" printed on it.

"Its the only known cartridge in existence. Rottin's Chairperson, Honda Akira, is an avid antique collector and wants it REAL bad. Unfortunately, so does its owner, Nano's Chairperson Faug. That's why we got to get to Rottin fast." she said as she took the box and put it back in the duffel bag.

"Yeah, but I work at Nano. How do you know I won't just take that thing back?" Adam asked.

"I know you Adam. Your loyalty to them extends only as far as next month's paycheck. Am I right? Besides, if you go back to work tomorrow the last thing you're gonna need to worry about is a pay cut."

"Shit! They think I've aided you. I'm a wanted man!!" he realized with epiphany. "Oh, well. I was getting tired of that job anyway."

"That's the spirit snookums!!" Daisy exclaimed as she handed him a gauss pistol. They left the room and began a rapid walk down the hallway.

"Don't call me that," Adam moaned as he tried to keep up with her.

"Okay, honey-buns."

Adam just grunted his displeasure as Daizee giggled.

RUTHLESS PEOPLE

The Bel-Air cut through the morning sky, making a straight line towards the Rottin SpaceScraper. Suddenly, a blue electric flash erupted off to one side and a DeLorean retrofit aircar appeared out of nowhere almost hitting the Bel-Air. Daiz honked the horn at the rude driver, a little old white haired man who looked much like a mad inventor, returned the favor by flipping Daiz off, as his snot-nosed geekie passenger turned aroud and gave Daiz a raspberry.

"Oh yeah!" said Daiz, more than a little pissed, "Eat this Schmuck's!" Daiz pushed a series of buttons on the dash and a rocket shot out from the front of the Bel-Air and zeroed in on the DeLorean. Mortally wounded, the silver car careened into a crowded mega mall; taking out numerous merchant kiosks and countless shoppers in the explosion.

"Shit!!" Adam exclaimed, with his head poking out of the car window, gazing at the carnage below him, he watched transfixed as the vanity license plate "OUTATIME" from the DeLorean slowly spun to a stop and fell.

"Why'd you do that for? That car was a classic!!" he exclaimed, rolling up the window.

"Hey, this is all part of the CyberPunk genre; life is plentiful and cheap around here and people can get away with murder, just for a few bucks and a cheap laugh." Daizee replied, looking straight at Adam. The Bel-Air drifted to the right, colliding with a toddler standing on a balcony, waiting for the AeroBus.

"Watch your driving, will ya." Adam said as he rolled down the window to pull the broken body off the windshield. With a hard tug, it fell away from the car like a rag doll, plunging a hundred meters to the ground below. "Keep driving like that and one of us could get hurt".

NICE RUTHLESS PEOPLE

"Da Boss wants ta talk ta youse two."

This came from one of two huge thugs blocking Adam and Daiz's progress down the passageway from the terminal. Both men were dressed in double breasted pin-stripped suits (one purple and the other lime green), wing-tip shoes and each wore a fedora and antique Oakley Razor Blades.

"Excuse me?" replied Daiz, non-chalantly

"Youse iz commin wit uz, da boss wants ta talk to youse."

"I don't think so" stated Daiz, popping out her Lee-attack nails with the ease of a cyber implant.

Unperturbed the smaller of the two thugs reached out and picked Daiz up by the scruff of her neck.

"How cute" he said, examining her, "A puddy-tat"

Adam was undecided between running like the flames of hell or using the Blastmtabitz mini RPG. Then the other thug simply picked him up and tossed him over his shoulder like a sack of grain.

"Like we said, youse iz goin' ta see da boss." with that they started down the passsageway.

The solid oak doors hiss open, and two goons push Adam and Daisy forward, beyond the doorway and into a very opulant conference room. The room's floor was carpeted, with the oak wood walls having a newly cleaned sheen. Beautiful paintings by Monet, Frazetta, Nagel, and Van Gogh decorated the walls. More noticable was the fact that the room was totally deserted except for a lone occupant sitting comfortably in a black leather chair at the head of the conference table, smoking a Havana cigar.

"Boss, we got da geek and the puddy-tat youse wanted ta see."

"Show them in, Guido."

Guido pushed the two disgruntled adventureres through the door and pointed to a sofa. "Sit" he stated, matter-of-factly, "And no funny business, either; or else..."

"That's quite enough Guido. You and Nunzio can leave now."

"But boss..."

"No 'buts', I'm in no danger here."

Dejectedly, the huge thug turned and walked out the door, sulking. As the door shut Adam relaxed and began to look around the room, immediately wishing he hadn't. Sitting across the room was a man dressed in purple bermuda shorts, a flourescent Hawaiian print shirt, and berkenstock sandals-clothes that perfectly matched the style of the stolen clothing Adam and Daiz were wearing!

"I suppose you know why I wanted to talk to you." he said, making a point of looking at Adam's wardrobe.

"Don Chump. Only you could be so bold!" Daisy exclaimed.

"Don't act surprised, my dear. I know you have been working for my, ah, competition. Naughty, naughty." he said, wagging a synthetically tanned finger. Chump got up out his chair, and stepped foward to inspect his two prisoners more closely.

"You're little friend here," said Chump, "is certainly not the kind of company I would expect you to keep my dear."

"At least he knows quality when he sees it Don!" retorted Daisy.

"Yeah!" pipped Adam.

"Hmmmmm. Adam is it? Well Adam, you seem to have gotten youself mixed up in something that's a little too big for you, no? Not exactly a typical day at the data-processing centre, I would say." hissed Chump as he blew a puff of smoke into Adam's face. Adam coughed and wheezed.

"Pitiful. Like I said dear, I expected better."

"Yeah, well, you get help where you can find it." replied Daisy.

"So true. But now your little escapade has come to its conclusion," replied Chump as he extiguished his Havana. "I now possess this precious cartridge that you two have appropriated. The only remaining unknown in this equation is your continued existence. Should I dismember you and have your parts sent to Wintermint? Maybe I should just toss you out and let you burn up on re-entry? Decisions, decisions." sighed Chump.

"How about death by old age?" suggested Adam, meekly.

"No. Hardly original. Your deaths must be an artistic expression. Your demise must be rich in aesthetic value. Flinging you off the station into deep space by using the mass driver? Hmmmm...." brooded Chump.

While Chump was lost in his contemplations, little did he notice the blinking red light on his Cyberterminal. The light labeled "Intruder Alert".

Suddenly the door behind Chump's stalwart prisoners was opened, and, clad in an enormous space suit, was none other than Honda Akira, backed up by his cadre of Ninja-nauts(TM).

"What the fuck!?" exclaimed Chump, Daiz, and Adam simultaneously.

Guido and Nunzio, obviously paying more attention to security than their boss burst into the chamber from a previously hidden doorway behind Chump's desk weapons already drawn and trained on the Ninja-Nauts(TM).

"Greetings, Chump-san! I have come to take back what is rightfully mine. Return the cartridge to me or die, gaijin!" commanded Akira.

"Get outa my office you asshole!" barked Chump.

"You are in a position to demand nothing. While I, am in a position to demand anything. Give it to me you American bastard!" commanded Akira.

"Fuck you!" replied Chump as he pulled the cartridge from his shirt pocket and held it over the miniature paper shredder that sat beside his chair.

"NO!!" yelled Akira. He lept forward, grabbing the cartridge, but Chump's grip was like iron, and the cartridge did not yield to Akira.

"Give me the damn thing!" screamed Akira.

"Like hell I will, you stupid nip!" replied Chump.

"It's mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Gimme!"

Akira's troops were so busy watching their boss have it out with Chump, they virtually ignored Adam and Daizee. "Now's our chance! Adam, grab the cartridge and lets get out of here!" Daizee commanded.

Adam leapt forward, kicked both the old men in the nuts, and grabbed the cartridge. Simultaneously, Daiz grabbed the nearest Ninja-naut(TM)'s laser pistol and blasted a hole in the station's wall.

A thundrous howl of rushing air sucked Guido, Nunzio and most of the Ninja-Nauts(TM) into space before Akira's space suited figure (still in the fetal position) plugged the hole with it's enormous bulk.

Daisy grabbed Adam by the foot with her left hand and punched the escape pod button. A door opened and she pulled Adam into the pod.

"We're outta here!!" Daisy exclaimed as she activated the pod. Explosive bolts launched the pod away from the station, hurtling the pod Earthward.

. { this is a cool OS/2 Word Processor EOF marker saved for all to see!

Note: Just a little note from Andrew, for people who might be reading this who don't know me well. Keep in mind that this is a sarcastic comedy, written with another person when we were both about 23. It is supposed to be kinda over the top so if you think there is too much violence, sex, stupid situation, racism, etc then perhaps you should go see the doctor about your lack of humor! :-)