Warning!! This page is extremely Image-intensive, so it's not recommended for those with slow connection speeds. However, if it's really bad, just let me know and, if I get enough complaints, I'll reorganize it somehow.
(a documentary in photographs)
Life was pretty boring, before we invented war. Now, all sorts of countries are jumping on the bandwagon, and even history books claim that wars took place decades ago, but they're lying. We came up with it.
From left: Libby, Raw Evil, Weasel, Berger, Shark, Zach, Sethboy
A typical gathering, we are pictured here hatching a scheme for world domination, dividing it up amonst ourselves, and deciding who gets to blow up Canada. Such planning sessions typically include Papa John's Pizza and Mountain Dew .
From left, Ice, The Fatman, Libby, Weasel, Shark, Zach, Sethboy, Not Lucielle, Raw Evil, Berger.
A finer collection of secret agents and mafia hitmen has never been assembled. These outfits are representative of our daily professional wear. . . all other pictures represent either casual wear or paraphanalia for field work. Picture taken just before South West Michigan Covert Activities Convention, spring of 1999, cleverly disguised as a high school prom.
From left: Ice, Dustin Anderson, The Ladies' Man, Zach, Sethboy, Berger, The Fatman, Weasel.
A smaller group from the above photo, this group of men is known, collectively, as the Fearsome Foursome, not to be confused with the Fantastic Four. They formed the basis for the entire Rogues Gallery in its present form. Originally, the Foursome gathered on friday nights before high school football games to consume Papa John's pizza, drink Mountain Dew, and conduct simulations of strategic operations using elaborate supercomputer technology.
From left, The Fatman, Weasel, Zach, Berger
And yes, the infinitely famous picture of almost everyone from the gallery (with a few additionals) at the same time. While we often convene in fractional portions of this group, due to scheduling complaints, personal foibles, and the fact that girls are dumb, we rarely gather en masse, as it were. I think, if it ever happened again, the entire group would collapse back into its own gravitational field, forming a small black hole with its sheer ungainlyness. (no links here, sorry--too many people, and I'm too lazy)
Back row, from left: Funboy (Scott Martin), Shark, Libby, Dustin Anderson, Whitney Reiman, The Ladies' Man, The Fatman
More middle-ish: Someone unidentifiable (let me know if you know who it is), Evil Shelly, Berger, Blake, Zach
More or less front: Sethboy, Monkeyman, Raw Evil, Ice
Sure, we may seem friendly, but the relative peace of this seen was shattered moments after this photo was taken, as Kerry and Jeremy drew knives and attempted to hack me to death. Luckily I was able to deflect their poorly planned attack, and the only thing that prevented me from doing away with them at that point was my strict moral code, coupled with a slight case of heart burn. So, we all settled down for a pleasant game of Parchesi, and it was martinis all around when, later that evening, the three of us discovered the secret to inner peace. It was Pop Rocks.
From left: Zach, The Fatman, Raw Evil
Once again our fierce nature is camoflaged by an apparently joyful gathering. This picture was taken during an effort by the people at the top of the photo to crush the people at the bottom of the photo--classic natural selection, as the ones at the bottom were obviously far too stupid to realize that we were trying to kill them, and thus deserved to be culled so that they could not reproduce. Sadly, as I mentioned, this effort failed.
From top center to right, then down, then left, then down again. Then right: Lemur, The Fatman, Twit, Berger, Weasel, Zach, Shark, someone unimportant, someone unidentifiable, Raw Evil, Avery
. . . More to come!!
If you have any pictures, and would like to submit them (for any area of this page, or for your own personal amusement), send them to me.