Halloween Humor


                                                     

Why don't mummies go on vacation?
They might relax, and unwind.

-Sent in from astray and cb


(The mummy graphic contributed by Chat Mechant)


Can you Find the Hidden Halloween Words?
Click Here!



Did you hear about the unsuccessful vampire hunter?
He tried to kill a vampire by driving a pork chop through its heart because steaks were too expensive

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up his payments to his exorcist?
He was repossesed.

What does a vampire fear most?
Tooth decay

-The above were contributed by Marjorie



Looking for a Cool Halloween Calendar?
Click Here
For more holiday calendars and wallpaper visit this link:
Uncle Debi's


(The cat and spider graphic was contributed by Tanya.)


HALLOWEEN MAD LIBS - LAUGH YOURSELF TO DEATH

- Contributed by Sue

First gather together a bunch of ghoulishly creepy people. One person will do all the writing while asking the others, in turn, to give a noun (person, place or thing), adjective (a descriptive word like big, green or fuzzy) or the name of a friend or famous person - you get the idea. No one knows the context of the story until it is read out at the end. This page is completely interactive in that you will interact with your demonic, easily jammed printer, printing out the stories and then you will interact with a pencil, a sharp, pointy, deadly weapon and then...strangest of all, you will interact with whatever humanoids you have on hand.


THE BABYSITTER

By Bonnie Bedford

You might consider using halloween words to make this a truly seasonal story.

1. adjective (description word like big, funky, orange)
2. appliance (machine in the house)
3. person here now
4. room
5. adjective
6. famous person
7. form of transportation
8. number
9. adjective
10. noun (person, place or thing)
11. colour
12. colour
13. adjective
14. colour
15. noun (plural)
16. noun
17. article of clothing
18. adjective
19. adjective
20. body parts (plural)
21. adjective
22. food
23. another famous person
24. ordinal number (2nd, 4th)
25. yet another famous person
26. song or other musical piece
27. -ing verb (action word - jumping, skiing)
28. appliance
29. noun (plural)
30. appliance
31. greeting
32. adjective
33. phrase
34. adjective
35. nickname

It was a dark and _1_______________________ night when the harsh ringing of the _2_________________ awoke _3________________ from a sound sleep in the _4__________________. It was that _5______________ _6____________________ calling. "I need a babysitter right now, can you help?" _3________________ couldn't turn down such a desperate plea. "I'll hop in the _7__________________ right now and be right over. Where do you live?" _6__________________ said, " I live in the _8__________________ house on _9_______________ _10__________________ Lane. You can't miss the place. It is _11________________ and _12________________ with _13_________________, _14___________________ _15_______________s all around. _3_________________ rang the doorbell and a voice from the intercom said, "Come in through the _16________________ . Since it is so wet and muddy out there, be sure to take off your _17_________- before you come in." _3__________________ was thrilled to see _18__________________, _19_________________ _6________________ standing right there in person. She/he was so excited her/his _20________________ were shaking. "The children are asleep upstairs, there is some _21________________ _22______________ in the fridge for you to eat. But be careful...there is an insane murderer loose in the neighbourhood. The police have given us warnings to not leave the house - but I can't miss this party for _23_______________ _24____________ birthday. For entertainment _25____________________ will be singing _26_________________ while _27_______________ through the air. Anyway this dememted killer is stalking people right around here somewhere so lock all the doors. And have a good time!" _3__________________ sat down to watch the _28_______________ when suddenly the power went out. Fumbling around for some emergency _29___________________s and the matches to light them, the piercing ringing of the _30______________________ startled _3_______________. _3________________ picked it up and said _31________________. There was only heavy breathing on the other end of the line. "Who is this? why are you calling me?" The creepy _32_________________ voice said, "_33______________________ and Happy Halloween you _34___________________ _35___________________.


THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

By Bonnie Bedford

1 person here
2 famous person
3 adjective
4 colour
5 animal (plural)
6 famous person
7 music or song
8 famous person
9 another person here
10 movie
11 famous person
12 letter
13 number
14 famous person
15 way of talking (whispered, shouted)
16 person here
17 food
18 liquid
19 liquid
20 way of talking (whispered, shouted)
21 famous person
22 liquid
23 liquid
24 liquid
25 reaction to taste (yuk, yum)
26 person here
27 way of talking (whispered, shouted)
28 name
29 colour
30 vegetable
31 sharp item
32 same vegetable as #30
33 item that gives light
34 colour
35 person here
36 famous person

On Halloween _1________________ and _2__________________ decided to get the house ready for the Halloween party. First they cut _3_________________ __4_______________ _5___________________ out of construction paper and hung them from the ceiling. Of course they had to choose scary music _6__________________ said _7_________________ sung by _8_______________________ is the most frightening song I've ever heard. Have you thought of renting a horror movie said__9______________________? I've heard the remake of _10______________________ starring _11________________________ is so scary it's rated_12_____________ which means that no one under _13_______________ _14_________________ _15______________________ in _16_____________________'s ear, I think we should serve _17___________________ pizza with __18________________sauce and __19_____________________. What about punch _20__________________________ __21____________________. Well, let's just mix __22________________, __23___________________ and _24________________ __25_________________ ___26___________________ __27____________________. Well I think it's time for the piece de resistance, the _28_________________ -o-lantern They chose the biggest __29______________________ __30__________________ they could find. They grabbed the _31_______________________ and carved a face in the __32_______________ and put in a __33_____________________ inside. It glowed an eerie __34_______________ and __35_________________ said "Creepy. It looks just like __36________________________. Now that's scary!"


["The Kittens" by ShirleyBo "Poe"] [Halloween Kitties, pg 1]
[Halloween Kitties, pg 2] [Halloween Kitties, pg 3]
[Halloween Safety for Kits and Kids] [The Witches' Kitchen]
["Halloween Remembered" by Pat] [Sue's Spooktacular Snackables]
[Halloween Humor] [Halloween Hollow Main Page]
[Tally's Home Page]

"The Addams Family"


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