With the 2004 golf season upon us, Nut C. and Joe had some serious discussion recently on how JCGLer's should be preparing themselves so they can hit the ground running. Following is some sage advice based on years of previous experience, even though we never seem to learn!
Equipment:
- New Clubs; never ever buy name brand clubs from Calaway, Ping, Taylor Made, etc. The romance will wear off after the first two rounds where you shoot out of your mind and then your game returns to mediocrity. Knockoffs are a great way to save money, and most everyone won't even notice your new club because they are not THE name brand. However, if it's a new driver with a head the size of a cantelope then everyone will notice regardless of name brand or knockoff! The far wiser investment is to wait one year and buy someone else's now average hardware at a fraction of the cost!
- Driver's With Cantelope Size Heads; The fallacy here is that the big fat head provides a bigger sweet spot. Do not believe this. In reality it only provides more surface area to put spin on the ball and increases your already out of control slice. Manufacturer's advertise more distance but what everyone misses is that they measure the arc, not the distance between where you stand and where the ball ended up in the woods.
- Golf Balls; Use the range balls. The Load swears by them. Nuff said.
The Course:
- New Tee Boxes; Sure they're new. And it's genuine topsoil used! To save on cost Deerfly CC just scrapes off one tee top and moves it to another. So now the newly refurbished tee is nice and level and the sod comes at the expense of one of the practice greens, and the tee that gave up the topsoil now requires a sidehill stance when addressing the ball!
- New Cart With Roof; Another case of 'the hand being quicker than the eye' if ever we saw one. All they did here was purchase a ton of epoxy and 500 gallons of paint, plus a case of stronger governor springs. The roofs are recyled Johnny-On-The-Spot attics that were attached with club shafts they recovered from the annual pond drainings.
Ettiquette:
- Playing the Ball Down; Dad has personally committed to this for 2004. No rolling or fluffing anywhere on the course...when someone is looking.
- Putt Everything; The jury is still out but our guess is that the same 4 or 5 people that favor this will somehow win with a majority vote again in 2004. Sharpen your putting skills early this year before the annual sod transfer occurs!
- Respecting Others While Addressing the Ball; While you address your ball do not make any unsolicited noises, gestures, etc. that may interfere with others on the course. Once you have hit your ball, feel free to have at anyone you want!
- Cans Only; Please do not drink bottled beer on the course. It is much easier for the nickel collectors (inside and out of our league) to carry the lighter weight cans and less dangerous when not having to rummage through broken glass.
- Courtesy for Beverage Cart Drivers; If you insist on staring at THEIR cans, please wear dark sunglasses as a sign of respect and don't forget to leave a tip if the size of the cans warrant it.
