Communication between the ringwraiths and Sauron that you never knew about....

ringwraiths@Mordor.net
Oh, hi Boss. It's No.2. Bit of bad news. A girl beheaded Witch-king’s beast. Good news is King of Rohan's horse killed him. Unlikely he had Ring, like you said. But real bad news is Witch-king was stabbed in knee by a hobbit, and then killed by the girl. I thought we couldn't die, because of the rings you gave us. Is there something I should know? Oh yeah, you lost the battle of Pelennor (probably just to fake 'em out, I'll bet). Anyway, I guess this makes me No.1, right?

Sauron@Mordor.net
(Sigh). Sure, you can be No.1, if it makes you happy. Would you all just circle the skies around Mordor, like at a really high altitude so you can't be shot down? That would be just peachy. You Eight can do that, can't you?

ringwraiths@Mordor.net
Did what you said, Boss, flying high. Seems like 7,000 of the enemy are marching toward the home office. Better back up the database, right?

Sauron@Mordor.net
Finally some good news. The captains of the West are pushing their luck. One of them probably has the Ring, but hasn't mastered it. Circle above the Black Gate.

ringwraiths@Mordor.net
Great news, Boss! Battle going great. They are completely surrounded. You're a genius.

Sauron@Mordor.net
Fools! The One Ring!! It's at Mount Doom! Fly, fly I tell thee! Fly to Mount Doom and grab the Ring before it's too late!

ringwraiths@Mordor.net
Mount Doom? That's a volcano. Isn't it pretty hot there?

Sauron@Mordor.net
Go to Mount Doom immediately! The Ring, get the Ring! Do it!

ringwraiths@Mordor.net
OK, Boss, will do. Is the Ring INSIDE the volcano, or just near it? Well, I suppose we'll find out when we get there. Wish us luck!

ringwraiths@Mordor.net
Boss, are you there? The volcano is erupting something fierce. No can find Ring. Can't even sense its presence. Are you sure it's at Mount Doom?

ringwraiths@Mordor.net
Hey Boss, did you know that Mordor is crumbling? Boss?