Introduction to Special Publications no.5

This publication exposes how the consumer superstars promoting ‘comic relief’ have made large sums of money by doing voice-overs for commercials advertising the products of third world exploitation. This work first appeared in ‘mappa mundi’ no.6 and has been extensively rewrittn for this publication.

I: The Voice-Overs made by Comic Relief Stars.

Advertising agencies believe that using the voices of consumer stars in television/radio commercials boosts sales. Consumers respond positively to commercials featuring the voices of celebrities. To consumers it is almost as if consumer superstars are personally recommending, or giving a seal of approval to, the products they are selling. Since many people like to emulate their ‘stars’, this encourages them to go out and buy these products. Consumer superstars endow products with their own status whilst consumers wish to purchase products endowed with celebrity status. In addition, according to gethin stout of top advertising agency chiat day, the advantage of using celebrity voices is often subliminal, "The secret is to reassure the viewer that the commercial is, above all, truthful."[1]

I.A: Voice Overs for Cash Crop industries.

A.a) Alexei Sayle.

Has done a commercial for terry’s chocolate, (itv february-march 1995).

A.b) Hugh Laurie.

Has done a voice over for penguin chocolate bars (itv 14.5.95).

A.c) Harry Enfield.

Has done a voice over for slime bar (itv april/may 1995).

I.B: Voice-Overs for the Road/Cars/Oil Industries - Car-essors[2].

B.a) Griff Rees Jones.

Has done a number of voice-overs for various Earth-raping vehicles - the vauxhall carlton estate (itv march 1993); peugot’s 106 aztec & inca (itv 3.6.95).

B.b) Jonathon Ross.

Has done a voice-over for the rover metro commercial (also featuring joan collins) on itv during january 1993.

B.c) Alexei Sayle.

Has done a commercial for texaco clean system three.

B.d) Stephen Fry.

Has done a voice over for the citreon ax (itv 18.2.94).

B.e) Angus Deayton.

Has done a voice over for renault cars.

I.C: Voice-Overs for the Animal Exploitation Industries.

C.a) Griff Rees Jones.

Has done a voice over for a mass murdering, multi-national, Animal exploitation corporation.

C.b) Mel Smith.

Has done a voice over for milk (itv jan/feb 1993).

C.c) Harry Enfield.

Has done a voice over for findus and also pizza hut thai fried chicken.

C.d) Lenny Henry.

Has done a voice over for a birds’ eye Chicken (itv september 15th 1994).

C.e) Chris Barrie.

Has done a voice over for a mass murdering, multi-national, Animal exploitation corporation.

II: The Causes of Third World Poverty.

The following sections are sketches of the third world poverty caused by cash crop industries; the car, and car related, industries; and the Animal exploitation industries. No attempt has been made to provide an exhaustive analysis of the poverty caused by these industries.

II.A: Third World Poverty Caused by Cash Crop Industries.

A sizeable proportion of the land in the disintegrating/industrializing countries is covered by cash crops for consumers in the over-industrialized nations, "The pressure of foreign debt and the growing integration of Third World agriculture into the world commodity market has led to a major shift of agricultural land from domestic food production into large-scale export production dominated by international agribusiness corporations. According to FAO statistics, an estimated 14% of Third world agricultural cropland is now devoted to export production."[3] These commodities include tea, coffee, cocoa, vegetable oils, bananas, etc.. Whilst it may have been hoped that cash crop exports would bring wealth to poor countries in practice it has exacerbated poverty in a number of ways:-

A.a) The Expropriation of Land.

Huge numbers of people have been forcibly removed from their land by rich landlords to make way for cash crops. Many people have starved after losing their land.

A.b) Human Exploitation.

Most of the workers who are employed on plantations are paid a pittance. In some of the most notorious cases workers wages have been less than poverty wages.

A.c) Pesticide Poisoning.

"In lower-income countries, an estimated 10,000 people die each year from pesticide poisoning, and about 400,000 suffer acutely."[4]

A.d) Third world Elites Exploiting their own People.

The only people in third world countries who benefit from cash crop production are third world elites.

A.e) Rigging International Trade.

The over-industrialized nations have rigged international trade to the detriment of third world countries. They refuse to allow third world countries to process their raw material before being exported. The value which would be added to cash crops if raw materials could be processed would be enormous, "In the early 1980s, the World Bank estimated that the removal of tariffs on processed varieties of eight agricultural products would raise the local value added by 20%, equivalent to more than the transfers resulting from the industrial countries' Generalized System of Preferences (GSP) schemes combined!"[5]

II.B: Third World Poverty Caused by the Car, and Car Related, Industries.

The car, and car related, industries have boosted third world poverty in a number of different ways:-

B.a) The Expropriation of Land.

The car, and car related, industries have expropriated a large area of land in the disintegrating/industrializing countries to grow cash crops to provide raw materials for the manufacture of cars e.g. the rubber industry. Increasing areas of land are also being usurped to produce biofuels (green petrol) for cars. In brazil huge areas of land are being used to grow sugar beet to produce ethanol, "Brazil has 8 million cars running on a mixture of petrol and ethyl alcohol. More than 6 million acres of the best agricultural land are now devoted to feeding cars .."[6]

B.b) The Expropriation of Resources.

Of the world's 400 million cars the vast majority are owned by people in the over-industrialized nations. However, many of the raw materials used to manufacture cars come from the disintegrating/industrializing countries, "The overwhelming majority of all ores (from third world countries) are used elsewhere ..."[7]; "The Third World's share of global ore production rose dramatically in the 20thC. Between 1913 and 1970 the proportion of the world's iron ore mined there rose from 3% to 39%."[8]; "Between 1913 and 1970 .. the rise in bauxite production (in third world countries) was even more dramatic - from less than half a per cent to nearly 60%.”

B.c) Rigging International Trade.

Just as was the case noted above with cash crops, the same is also true of raw materials for the car industry. The over-industrialized countries prevent third world countries from processing their raw materials before being exported .. "the Third World processes only 10% of the copper ore, 4% of the nickel ore, and 17% of the iron ore it produces."[9]

B.d) The Ruination of the Land.

The mining of raw materials used in the manufacture of cars for consumers in the over-industrialized countries has poisoned huge tracts of land in third world countries. This land cannot be used to grow food thereby further impoverishing third world people.

B.e) Human Exploitation.

The raw materials mined/grown for the car, and car related, industries are produced using cheap labour. There are innumerable examples of the car, and car related, industries exploiting third world workers, “Construction News reports that child labour has been used to help build a UK-funded and constructed road in Nepal. The children, on £1.60 for a 12 hour day, are working on a £16.5 million contract for Kier International and the crown agents, the Government’s overseas supplies arm. The road engineers say they have done all they can to stop child labour beng used on the project.”[10]

B.f) Human Oppression.

The car, and car related, industries not only exploit workers in the workplace they also exploit people in their communities. Fiat was involved in the construction of a highly controversial dam project in africa. The reservoir created by the bakolori dam on the sokoto river displaced 13,000 people and threatened to ruin the livelihood of 40,000 families living on the floodplain, “In 1979, there was a peasant uprising against the newly completed dam. The rebellion lasted seven months and ended in .. massive bloodshed at Birnin Tudu, the headquarters of the construction company. The ancient floodplain farming system was destroyed at great cost. The only winner in this farrago was the Italian company Fiat, which had built the dam and canals, and supplied most of the equipment from tractors and trucks to the advanced laser technology for levelling the fields (in the floodplain).”[11]

B.g) Third World Elites Exploiting their own People for the sake of Cars.

Third world countries earn large sums of money from the export of cash crops/ores for the road/car/oil industries. Unfortunately most of this money is expropriated by third world elites. Instead of trying to alleviate poverty, third world elites spend their country's export earnings either on military hardware or on expensive, luxury cars and the importation of petrol, "Excessive motorization also deepens the oil dependence that is draining national economies. Even with the recent fall in crude prices, fuel bills are particularly harsh for indebted developing nations that spend large portions of their foreign exchange earnings on imported oil. In 1985, low-income developing countries (excluding china) spent on average 33% of the money they earned through merchandise exports on energy imports; many spent more than half."[12]; "The resulting dependence on imported oil often cripples the already strained economies of these countries. In a country like Brazil , for example, the value of oil imports in 1985 was some 43% of imports as a whole."[13]; "Much of the new wealth in the (third) world goes into armies and Merecedes Benzs and services for the tiny minority of very rich ..."[14] For example, "In Haiti, only one out of every 200 people owns a car, yet fully one-third of that country’s import budget is devoted to fuel and transportation."[15]

Third world elites also run up huge national debts by borrowing money which is lavished on luxury cars. These national debts impose a considerable financial burden on hundreds of millions of people, "The net result of car centred developments according to Michael Replogle is to boost imports, increase foreign debts and make life worse for the poor."[16]

B.h) The Carism of Third World Elites.

Third world elites import luxury cars/petrol for their own use and devote a considerable proportion of state spending to the car infrastructure to ensure they can use their prize possessions. They promote the interests of the car even though the vast majority of the population do not own cars and rely on less high tech transport, "less than 1% of the population of the Third World can afford a car, despite the fact that many of their cities are dominated by impressive main roads and multi-storey car parks. Unfortunately our love affair with the car has inspired many developing countries to motorize, at the expense of their existing low tech, but not necessarily inefficient, transport infrastructure."[17]

Third world elites not only give priority to cars over other forms of transport, they promote cars at the expense of the poor and thereby directly boost poverty. It is bad enough that a tiny ruling elite spends the state's assets on private cars, it is far worse when third world elites impoverish hundreds of thousands of poor people so that they can use their cars, "Bicycles and their three and four wheeled cousins can enhance mobility at little cost, improve access to services, and create a wide range of employment opportunities. Yet deeply impoverished countries pour precious export earnings into motorised transport, ignoring or even subverting human-powered options that people and governments alike could better afford."[18]; (Bicycles have many benefits). "But bias against human-powered vehicles is severe in Third world cities, and even worse in the countryside. For decades, governments have devoted rural funds to building motorable roads, neglecting the fact that few people there have cars or trucks, and that motorised public transit rarely reaches them."[19]; "Third world governments are believing the propaganda about the freedom and prosperity that comes with an auto-dominated economy. In 1989, officials in Jakarta banned becaks, a three wheeled cycle-rickshaw, because they were the main cause of increasing traffic congestion. For some of Jakarta's poor this not only resulted in the loss of their jobs, they also lost their home and their savings. For them the becak represented all three. Similarly, authorities in Dakha in Bangladesh annouced plans in 1987 to ban pedicabs even though they employed more than 100,000 people."[20]; "China's image as the Bicycle kingdom suffered a jolt in 1993, as oficials in Guangzhou and Shanghai announced their intention to ban bicycles from certain thoroughfares in order to make way for cars and trucks. At least in Guangzhou, the mayor - blasted by an immediate public outcry - was forced to alter his proposed ban."[21]; "Although policymakers could improve transport at little cost by supporting bicycles .. they seldom do. City governments are often hostile to rickshaws and similar services, either discouraging them with regulations, fines and taxes, or wiping them out entirely through bans and confiscations. In Jakarta, the city has confiscated some 100,000 cycle rickshaws over the past five years and dumped them into the sea - to "reduce traffic congestion." Dacca, Bangladesh, recently threatened to phase out rickshaws - despite the fact they account for more than half the passenger trips in the city and employ an estimated 140,000 people. Rickshaws throughout South Asia, and even in some African countries, where they are less common, are also in jeopardy."[22]

The carism of third world elites, which impoverishes people for the sake of the car, is reinforced by international agencies which prefer to invest money in motorized private transport rather than on projects which would help the poor, "During the 1970s transport was the largest area for investment in developing countries accounting for almost a quarter of world bank loans and one fifth of International Development Agency credits. Around half of such loans and almost 95% of world bank transport research funds were for roads."[23]

B.i) Car Pollution.

Although only a small proportion of the world's cars are used in the disintegrating/industrializing countries, the vast majority of cars in these countries are concentrated in urban areas where they cause a huge level of pollution which has serious impact on human health. .. "summer photochemical smog, mostly caused by emissions from vehicles working in areas which are subject to windless, oppressive weather. Such smogs are reckoned to affect around one billion people around the world."[24]. "If air pollution is considered a major problem in the cities of north America and Europe, the newly industrialized large cities of Latin America, Asia and Africa can only be described as operational disaster areas. .. Mexico city would, if properly monitored, reveal that more people die there every year from killer toxic fumes than died in London during the fatal 'killer fog'."[25]

B.j) Car Accidents.

“About 700,000 lives are lost yearly, according to the World Health Organization through the violence that motor-cycles, cars, buses, and trucks wreak on the highways and byways of the world. In addition, between 10 and 15 million persons are estimated to be injured. This grim toll represents a death every fifty seconds, and an injury every two seconds around the world. Developing countries are the hardest hit, experts say, accounting for about two-thirds of mortality, or for 500,000 deaths each year. But even worse, mortality trends are on the rise. For example - mortality on roads increased in 18 developing countries alone by 13% in over a decade, or by over 260,000 deaths, a survey shows. In industrialized countries, road deaths are estimated at 200,000 yearly. While still high, trends are on the decline. For instance - in 13 countries mortality on roads decreased by 18% over 10 years, or by 88,000 deaths. To cite but two countries: In the united states of america alone, deaths declined by 8%, from 51,153 to 47,093; and in the United kingdom by 26%, from 6,831 to 5,050 over the decade. Overall, the chances of being killed by a motor vehicle are lowest in the developing countries. They are least motorized. Yet, because of poor standards of traffic safety, there are between 20 to 50 times more deaths per vehicle in those countries than in industrialized ones. For instance, Ethiopia, with one vehicle per 1,000 population, reported 151 deaths per 10,000 vehicles - the world’s worst safety record. Rwanda and Papua New guinea, each with 4 vehicles per 1,000 people, reported 115 and 69 deaths respectively, ranking 32nd and 31st. The standards of safety for eastern European countries, about 5 times lower than elsewhere in Europe, are similar to the develping countries. As car ownership increases, so too do deaths on the road. In Poland, for instance, fatalities climbed from 4,688 to 7,333 just between 1985 and 1990 - or by 56%. The victims of road violence are also pedestrians. In industrialized nations, about 20% of all those killed on the road are pedestrians.In developing countries, many ore pedestrians die. In South-East Asia and Latin America, they account for about 30% of road deaths; in the Western Pacific and Africa, for about 40; in the caribbean, for about 45; and in the Eastern mediterranean, for about 50%. (Manufacturers are buildingfaster cars). In 1967, for instance, only 10% of cars built in France could hit speeds of 150 kilometres per hour; in 1987, 75% could.”[26]

B.k) Cars exacerbating Global Warming which will Increase Third World Poverty.

Cars are one of the major contributors to global warming. Although most of the damage which cars inflict on the climate is caused by the over-industrialized countries, the third world also makes a contribution. Third world countries boost global warming through vehicle exhaust emissions and through the destruction of the Earth's Phytosynthetic capacity e.g. strip mining for ores. Global warming will cause a dramatic increase in third world poverty .. “climate change will lead to increased poverty. Continent wide, Africa is expected to suffer most from climate change. Poor people will be hardest hit.”[27] In other words, third world countries not only suffer exploitation for the sake of cars, they will suffer from the ecological damage caused by cars. Not only do third world countries get the least benefit from cars, they will also suffer the worst ecological consequences of the car.

B.l) An Example; Shell in Nigeria.

To take one example of third world exploitation for the sake of the car: shell's exploitation of nigerian oil. Shell is one of the world's biggest multi-national corporations.[28] It has a huge oil operation in nigeria. 95% of nigeria's foreign currency earnings come from the export of oil and shell produces 50% of the country's oil[29]; "More than US$30 billion worth of oil has been extracted from the Ogoni region of the Niger delta. Oil provides Nigeria with the bulk of its export income. Shell gets 14% of its global crude oil production from Nigeria, the second largest area of operations after the USA."[30] Although shell has provided huge export earnings for nigeria most of this money has been expropriated, in one way or another, by the ruling elite.

Shell's exploitation of nigerian oil has produced some appalling conditions. Despite the extraction of huge quantities of oil from the ogoni region of the nigerian delta, none of the region’s inhabitants have benefitted in the slightest. On the contrary, oil extraction has caused widespread environmental damage and ruined the livelihoods of many people, , “Greenpeace research has found that, between 1982 and 1992, Shell spilt 1.6 million gallons of crude oil in the Nigerian delta region .. The Ogoni live mainly by farming and fishing, making the pollution particularly devastating.”[31] Local people resent what they see as the rape and pillage of their lands and this has led to conflicts with shell who have called in the police to quell disturbances which are seen as a threat to the continued flow of oil, ‘When a village in the Niger delta organized protests to draw attention to the damage which Shell's oil production was causing to villagers' crops and farmland, Shell called in Nigeria's mobile police to crush the demonstration. The mobile police returned the day after the first demonstrations, and killed 82 people, demolished all 495 houses in the village, and cut down all economic trees to prevent vilagers from continuing to earn a livelihood in the area.’[32]; "For the last 30 years the (Ogoni) people's land has been criss-crossed by surface pipelines and illuminated by 24 hour gas flares. In October 1990 demonstrators occupied a Shell rig at Umuechem, halting oil production. The authorities sent in the Nigerian Mobile Police Force. Eighty demonstrators were allegedly killed and 495 homes destroyed."[33]; “The Ogoni say that more than 1,800 of their number have now been killed.”[34]

Several years ago shell revealed its concern for the environment. In 1990 environmentalists in california submitted a set of radical, environmental protection measures known as Proposition 128 (popularly called Big Green) for a state referendum. It was defeated because several multi-national corporations spent over a million dollars on advertising campaigns to persuade people to vote against the proposition. Shell gave $608,000; ICI, $380,000; and BP, $171,000. "Proposition 128 was decisively defeated 64%-36%. The rejection of Big Green represented a crushing defeat for environmentalists. It stipulated some of the toughest regulations in the industrialized world against agricultural pesticides, logging of ancient trees, emissions of CFCs and production of carbon dioxide. But a richly funded opposition campaign from business interests emphasized the cost and overtook an initial lead for the measure."[35]

More recently of course there has been the case of shell wanting to dump into the north sea its brent spar oil rig which contained hundreds of tonnes of pollutants, "A Shell UK spokesperson stated that, "Shell UK remains convinced that the sinking in the deep Atlantic is the most responsible way of disposing of the Brent Spar.""[36] The dumping of the brent spar was deliberately timed to take place after the 1995 comic relief campaign which shell had helped to sponsor. It would not have looked good for shell to have tried dumping the rig during comic relief's fund raising events. But all the time it was attracting good publicity because of its sponsorship of this event it was planning on dumping the brent spar and all its pollutants into the north sea. Perhaps shell was hoping that all the good publicity it attracted for its sponsorship of comic relief would enable it to portray those who might protest against the dumping as wacky extremist environmentalists who could thereby be dismissed.

B.m) Conclusion.

Even if rich car owning socialists refuse to recognize it, cars are one of the archetypal symbols of third world exploitation. It is extremely rare to hear any criticisms of cars from a third world perspective primarily because so many third world activists are car owners, "The car .. cannot exist without exploitation in its various guises. And car exploitation operates on two levels. Firstly, virtually all its components are made from resources appropriated from the third world: leaving a long trail of environmental and health depradations to those who can least afford them. Second, the less direct level of exploitation within capitalist economies. In every industrialized country, a minority of car owners live off a majority of non-car owners."[37]

II.C: Third World Poverty Caused by the Animal Exploitation Industry.

The Animal exploitation industries have boosted third world poverty in a number of ways:-

C.a) The Expropriation of Land.

A colossal part of the Earth’s land surface has been devoted to pasture, “A quarter of the earth’s landmass is used as pasture for cattle and other livestock ..”[38] Some of this land has been acquired through expropriation. This is as true in the third world today as it was centuries ago in the over-industrialized nations. Large numbers of poor people have been imprisoned, made homeless, killed, or have starved as a result of big landowners expropriating land for pasture. The same sort of expropriation has occurred, although not on the same scale, to provide grains for livestock Animals in the over-industrialized world. As has been pointed out above 14% of the land in third world countries is being used for cash crops although it is not known what proportion of this land is being used to grow grains for the Animal exploitation industry.

C.b) The Expropriation of Food.

Large areas of pastureland in the disintegrating/industrializing countries are used for livestock Animals which are exported to the over-industrialized world. Huge numbers of people in these countries go hungry even though they are surrounded by livestock Animals, "Birds Eye Walls import 30,000 tonnes of beef from Brazil every year."[39] Although meat exports from third world countries continue to grow, they are declining relative to meat exports from the over-industrialied nations.[40] 

The same is also true as regards the crops which provide feed for livestock Animals. Huge numbers of people are going hungry even though third world countries are producing vast quantities of grains which are exported to feed livestock in the over-industrialized nations, "Although soybeans are consumed directly as tofu and soy sauce in many countries, food use accounts for a small fraction of the world harvest. Most of the world's soybeans are grown primarily for the protein meal that is widely used in pork and poultry rations. Argentina and Brazil .. crush most of their beans and export them largely as meal, retaining much of the oil for domestic consumption."[41]

The over-industrialized world cannot grow enough feed for its livestock and have to import huge quantities of fodder from third world countries, "Because of the large amounts of grain required to produce beef, the geographic location of cattle herds can be misleading. Most industrial countries do not have sufficient agricultural land to support their meat consumption. Beef production is particularly land-intensive, because one calorie of meat production requires 3 calories of grain inputs for pork and 10 calories for beef. Land requirements can be up to 50 times higher than for protein production from grain. As a result, a great deal of the feed consumed in industrialized countries is not produced on the home farm, but purchased from developing countries. For example, Western Europe imports more than 40%, or 21 million tons per year, of its feed grains from the Third World."[42];"Feeding the meat-eating (world) class takes nearly 40% of the world's grain, grown on close to one-fifth of the world's cropland."[43]; “There has been a fundamental shift in world agriculture this century from food grains to feed grains, and cattle now compete with people for food. A third of the world’s fish catch and more than a third of the world’s total grain output is fed to livestock.”[44] Huge numbers of third world peoples are starving because the crops grown in their country are exported to fatten Animals in the over-industrialized nations, “More people are hungry now than ever before. Many states where hunger is prevalent are net exporters of food.”[45] Even during times of famine, grains continue to be exported from third world countries to the over-industrialized world, "In addition, about two-thirds of the total domestic grain crop goes to feed-lots. The agribusiness production of grains for foreign exchange-earning exports to the industrialized region is one among several factors in the displacement of the rural poor in the Third world onto marginal, ecologically sensitive land. The magnitude of the food value involved in this trade is significant: the 500 million people suffering starvation could find relief from this condition if they had the cash to buy the grains exported to industrial country feedlots. In that sense, the present level of meat consumption in the wealthy industrialized countries is directly related to starvation in the poor countries of the world."[46]

C.c) The Expropriation of Resources.

Third world elites devote huge quantities of resources, from water, minerals, and fossil fuels to the Animal exploitation industry when these resources could be used to alleviate third world poverty, “While it takes, on average, 25 gallons of water (113 litres) to produce a pound of wheat in modern Western farming systems, it requires an astounding 2,500 gallons (11,250 litres) of water to produce a pound of meat.”[47]

C.d) Third world Elites Exploiting their own People for the sake of Meat.

Animals are a major export earner in many third world countries .. “African export earnings from this source (live animals, meat, hides and skins) exceed those from tobacco, tea or bauxite.”[48] Just as was the case with exports of cash crops and raw materials for the car industries, the wealth generated by Animal exports is expropriated by third world elites. Third world elites, like consumers in the over-industrialized nations, are meat eaters, and some of their countries' export earnings are used to sustain a carnivorous diet. Third world elites would rather spend money on buying meat for their own consumption rather than alleviating poverty. They are therefore responsible for some of the poverty caused by the Animal exploitation industry.

C.e) Rich in Meat, Poor in Wealth.

There is a general rule about the Animal exploitation industry in third world countries and this is that the greater the wealth generated by Animal exports the greater the scale of poverty. For example .. “meat exporting countries are among Africa’s poorest and most drought stricken: Chad, Sudan, Niger, Somalia, Mali, Botswana and Namibia.”[49] There are a number of reasons for this:-

Firstly, because third world countries' export earnings are confiscated by third world elites rather than disbursed throughout the population;

Secondly, the Animal exploitation industry is such a land extensive enterprise that little land left for the development of local agriculture or other industries;

Thirdly, the Animal exploitation industry uses only a small workforce, thereby further limiting the spread of wealth throughout the population; and,

Finally, the Animal exploitation industry is a capital intensive industry which means that little capital is left for other industries.

As a consequence, “No other agro-export has contributed less to the welfare of the Guatemalan population than beef. Cattle ranching has displaced hundreds of small farmers and employed very few workers. Moreover, Guatemala was no exception to the process common throughout central America by which countries of the region rapidly increased beef exports to the united states to meet the demands of fast food chains like MacDonalds, while per capita domestic consumption declined.”[50]

C.f) The Oppression of World Trade related to the Animal Exploitation Industry.

It was pointed out above that the over-industrialized nations cannot produce enough grains to feed their own livestock Animals and need to import huge quantities of grains from third world countries. The injustices of this situation are compounded by the oppression of world trade. The over-industrialized countries prevent third world countries from subsidizing their agricultural products whilst at the same time giving huge subsidies to their own pharmers. As a consequence of these subsidies the over-industrialized pharmers produce huge food mountains which are then dumped on third world countries ruining their agricultural industry because the grains from over-industrialized nations are cheaper than locally produced third world grains - even though the former has often been transported half way around the world. Furthermore the over-industrialized nations prevent third world countries from blocking the importation of subsidized agricultural products from the over-industrialized nations, "The grain imports required to compensate for this shift of agricultural land further undermines the self reliance of developing countries: Grain exports from industrialized countries to Third World countries are routinely subsidized."[51] The injustices of world trade exacerbate the injustices caused by the Animal exploitation industries in third world countries.

C.g) The Animal Exploitation Industry exacerbates Global Warming which will Increase Third World Poverty.

The Animal exploitation industry is the biggest contributor to global warming. It boosts global warming through Animal flatulence, the consumption of fossil fuels to help run the Animal exploitation industries, and through the destruction of the Earth's Phytosynthetic capacity e.g. the destruction of Forests. The ecological devastation caused by the Animal exploitation industry is enormous:-

Firstly, a quarter of the Earth’s land surface is now used for pasture and much of this has been created by razing Forests, “In Mexico alone, 37 million acres of forest have been destroyed since 1987 to provide grazing land for cattle.”[52];

Secondly, some of the land used to provide fodder for livestock has also been created by razing Forests; and,

Thirdly, huge numbers of people who have been chucked off their land by Animal exploiters invade the Forests in order to grow crops. They use primitive slash/burn techniques which entails setting fire to the Forests to provide fertiliser ash for crops. Due to the increasing numbers of slash/burn farmers the Forests no longer have the time to recover.

Most of the damage resulting from the Animal exploitation industry is caused by the over-industrialized countries but the third world also contributes to the damage. Once again it is likely that third world countries not only benefit least from the Animal exploitation industry, but will suffer the most from the climatic disasters caused by this industry.

C.h) Conclusions.

There are a number of conclusions to be drawn from this sketch of the poverty caused by the Animal exploitation industry:-

Firstly, the Animal exploitation industry causes more poverty in third world countries than any other industry. It is by far and away the biggest cause of third world poverty.

Secondly, the Animal exploitation industry causes more poverty in third world countries than all the cash crop industries combined - e.g. coffee/tea.

Thirdly, third world poverty will never be abolished until some of the land currently being used by the Animal exploitation industry is distributed to the poor in order to abolish global poverty.

Fourthly, most livestock Animals are consumed in the over-industrialized world, “Most people in the world live on a substantially vegetarian diet. Meat eating is a habit largely peculiar to the affluent West.”[53]; "Per capita meat consumption is currently six times higher in the industrialized countries than in the developing world (78kg/cap-yr compared to 14 kg/cap-yr). Moreover, while industrial country per capita consumption has risen by another 20% in the last 15 years, it has stagnated in the Third World."[54]

Finally, it is impossible for everyone in third world countries to eat as much meat as consumers in the over-industrialized nations. Despite the fact that china now produces as much meat as america, it has a far larger population than america and will never be able to produce the same level of per capita meat consumption, "China and the United States now dominate world meat production. Somewhat surprisingly, surging pork production in China in recent years has made it the world's leading consumer of red meat. Its output of red meat in 1992 totalled 31.6 million tons, compared with18.6 million tons in the United States. When poultry is included, total meat production in China is nearly 37 million tons versus 31 million tons in the United States."[55]; "The major producers of poultry in 1993 were the United States at 12.5 million tons, China at 5.1mt, Brazil at 3.2mt, and France at 2 mt. Together, these four countries accounted for over half of world poultry output."[56]

INTERESTINGLY NEITHER OXFAM NOR THIRD WORLD FIRST, WHO HAVE BOTH BEEN CAMPAIGNING AGAINST THIRD WORLD EXPLOITATION FOR OVER A QUARTER OF A CENTURY, HAVE NEVER CAMPAIGNED AGAINST THE CAR AND ANIMAL EXPLOITATION INDUSTRIES EVEN THOUGH BOTH CAUSE EXTENSIVE THIRD WORLD POVERTY. WHY IS THIS?

III: The Lifestyle of the Alternative Comedy Establishment .

From the mid-1980s onwards, a group of brutish comedians promoted the idea of alternative comedy.[57] Unlike the more popular and established comics, they made a stance against sexist and racist jokes. They were also concerned about third world poverty. They have supported, and even helped to organize, mass charitable events to raise funds to combat third world poverty - the most well known of which is ‘comic relief’. Quite remarkably, however, virtually every one of these alternative comedians consumes third world cash crops; owns at least one, if not more, cars; and eats meat, the archetypal symbol of third world exploitation. In the early days, some of the more politically minded members of this group presented themselves as anarchistic using humour to confront the political establishment and highlighting some of the oppressions of modern life. Today they are all very successful and extremely rich, some are multi-millionaires. They have become the alternative comedy establishment and are just as degenerate as the establishment comics they used to despise. The alternative comedy establishment have a number of features in common.

Firstly, as has been noted above, many comic relief stars do voice-overs for third world cash crop products. Secondly, most comic relief stars own cars; some have stated that they love their cars and some even collect cars. Doubtlessly fans of alternative comedy might wonder what fabulously interesting conversations these comics have when they get together - it’s a bit of a let down to think that one of the main topics is cars. Doubtlessly they also discuss the huge amounts of money which they make for doing voice-overs for car commercials.

And, finally, another surprising characteristic of this group is that many are carnivores - some of them have also done voice-overs for commercials promoting factory pharm products. Another favourite topic of conversation amongst this group is probably the vast amounts of easy money to be made by helping multi-national meat corporations to murder Animals.[58]

Members of the brutish comical alternative establishment promote the cash crop exploitation of third world countries; they promote cars which also cause third world exploitation and ecological destruction; and they promote the Animal exploitation industry which causes a vast level of poverty in third world countries, results in the extermination of hundreds of millions of livestock Animals, and cause the most extensive damage to the Earth's life support system. Their opposition to third world poverty is self defeating and hypocritical. Their love of chocolate, cars, and meat, seems to be more important to them than their commitment to anti-racism. It’s only a question of time before these comics are asked to do a turn for a save-the-Planet gig. Doubtlessly hypocrisy won’t stand in the way of their participation in such a gig, especially where so much good, wholesome publicity will enable them to cash in on their popularity by doing even more voice overs for cash crops, cars and meat, so it might be worthwhile for activists to slip into the car park to photograph their cars and then work out how much environmental destruction has been caused by these Earth-wrecking machines. Alternatively it would be simpler to just smash them up.

IV: Members of the Comical Alternative Establishment.

This section looks at some of the members of the anti-racist, anti-sexist, but cash crop, car-owning, meat-eating, Animal murdering, third world exploiting, comical alternative establishment.

IV.A: Rowan Atkinson.

Rowan atkinson has confessed he is, "in love with his cars - the bigger and faster the better." He complained about being banned from driving for a fortnight, "I hated it. It was like a huge chunk of my life had been removed. I didn't believe that I could miss something so much. I don't go on trains and I only use taxis occasionally in Central London. Most of the time I drive myself around, even on a working day."[59] “Comic Rowan was almost in tears after he was banned for two months and fined £150 with costs for speeding on the M4 in July 1988. The Mr Bean star said after the hearing he would take any offers for his 187mph Aston Martin. Atkinson said that selling the car would be the only way he would ever be able to resist the temptation to speed.”[60]

IV.B: Ben Elton .

As far as ben elton is concerned, "I rejoice in the freedom given by the private car. Cars are wonderful."[61] This view might surprise those who thought that neb notle's whacky novel 'Borelock' was a denunciation of the car. He wants a decent public transport system ..... so that motorists can enjoy their speeding around in their cars. Of course, he doesn't make the slightest attempt to provide an ecological justification for cars - the simpleton just believes they are ecologically acceptable. It might have been thought that of all of the alternative comical establishment figures, he, renown for his political correctness, might have come out with arguments showing how much the car is damaging the Earth’s life support system but no, the ecological cretin chooses to pander to the Earth-rapist establishment and the consumer dross driving around in cars. Presumably he believes the heads of the world's multi-national car corporations sit around in their penthouses manufacturing cars through some immaculate conception free of all ecological damage - given his sense of humour, through some form of excretory function, "Uhhhhh, oops" says lee iacocca, "here comes another ford granada"; "Wait a minute" says robert eaton, "I can feel another mercedes coming" bluuuurrrbbbb, "Yes here it is"; "Oh god" screams robert lutz, "I've just got to shuffle off to the bog-'ouse to eject this fiat transit van or else I'll never be able to manufacture another uno." End of latest novel.

This comic-goon shouts his gob off about the exploitation of third world peoples and then supports the products of such exploitation. He's just gobbing over his own words. Oh Terra, are we really going to have to put up with a 'Let's-save-the- planet-for-the-sake-of-our-cars benefit gig' starring neb nolte and rowena atkinson?

IV.C: Alexei Sayle.

Sayle drives a classic 1970 rover 3.5 p6b coupe. He doubtlessly electrifies other members of the alternative comedy group with stories about how he overhauls his car’s triple cam-shaft and how he found a shop which stocks the best chrome polish suitable for his particular make of car (he probably neglects to mention the poor sods poisoned manufacturing the material). He supports “Oxfam’s environmental work” (what work is that - publicizing the proton??) and, wow, states, “I’d love to see every town and city cater for cycles and in time become cycle dominated.”[62] - presumably he’d suffer this dramatic transport revolution as long as he was one of the few who could keep his poisonous machine.

Unfortunately, his environmental image began to wobble somewhat in 1994. In january he presented a series of six programmes on bbc2 called ‘drive’ about safer motoring - i.e. how to ensure even more motorists can drive around poisoning the atmosphere and wrecking the Planet without killing each other. For Terra’s sake, the only good thing about cars is that they slaughter vast numbers of eco-nazis.

A few months later this Earth-rapist shit did a voice-over for texaco’s ‘clean system 3’ a detergent petrol.[63] It’s a little difficult to understand how a petrol which removes pollutants from a car engine and then dumps them into the atmosphere can be less environmentally polluting than a non-detergent petrol. The mundi club knows of no evidence to contradict texaco’s claims but we do not, of course, believe a word that these evil Earth-rapists shits have to say. That an alternative comic should work for such an appallingly ecologically destructive company reveals the depths of his ecological degeneracy. Interestingly, and just about par for the course, in january 1995 macdonald’s teamed up with texaco to promote the murder of more Animals in their ‘route 66 promo’ - cars and carnivorism.

IV.D: Chris Barrie.

Is there anyone out there who might have a glimmer of hope that chris barrie might possess some unique insight into the way that oomans are devastating the Earth’s life support system? Shame, “After working out at the gym, Chris will usually indulge in one of his great passions (wait for it): “I head home for lunch then go out for a drive. I like cars, particularly old ones, and motorbikes. I’ve got four cars, the oldest being a TR2 from 1955 ..”[64] Yet another factory pharm comedian providing comic fodder for the factory pharm masses. As has been pointed out above, chris has also done a voice over for a multi-national factory pharm corporation. He’s thus more than qualified to hold up his end of the conversation with the rest of the right-on leftie comic set as regards their favourite subjects - cars, classic cars, eating flesh and foetuses, and making money out of murdering Animals.

IV.E: Robbie Coltrane.

Robbie coltrane is another member of the comical alternative establishment and, not surprisingly, he “has a passion for old cars. His collection includes a 1956 Cadillac coupe, two triumphs, a 1950 Citreon, a pontiac, and a 1947 Dodge. He once stated, “My dream is a 1951 Chevrolet.”[65] In the summer of 1994 he set out to fulfil his childish dreams - and in the process produced a programme for bbc2. He .. “bought a car in California, then set out east on a 3,500-mile journey across the heartland of America, to New York where, five weeks later, he loaded his precious cargo aboard a ship bound for Britain.”[66] Doubtlessly his friends in the establishment of alternative comics organized a massive banquet (with lots of corpses) in the car’s honour and then sat around in their cars swopping old car stories over their citizen band radios.[67]

IV.F: Phil Cool.

It has been reported that, "When tv comedian Phil Cool decided to go green he traded in his Mercedes for a VW golf umwelt diesel." What a step forward this is for green politics. Whatever is he going to do next - buy brown bread? Perhaps the Carbon tart might be interested to learn that, "Volkswagen has a ranch covering an area the size of one of Brazil's north-eastern states, and transformed the forest there into cattle pasture using fire. The fires don't bring any benefit to the local people, the poorer population. They only transform wealth, that is trees, into ashes."[68] and that, "The EC were involved in destroying 100,000 square kilometres of the Amazon in the name of dirt cheap iron ore for European foundries."[69] And just who uses this iron ore?? Such is the ecological depravity of the oomano-imperialist, alternative comedians providing comic fodder for the Planetless, factory pharm dross.

IV.G: Chris Tarrant.

Chris tarrant has been quoted as saying, "There's no use pretending why I did so many (voice overs). The money I have earned has probably paid for my house and my Mercedes - so I don't knock it."[70] Don't worry Chris, we ain't going to pretend either.

V: Comic Relief Promoting the Exploitation of the Third World.

Comic relief’s 1995 fundraising campaign to mitigate some of the worst effects of third world poverty, obtained sponsorships from multi-national corporations which exacerbate third world exploitation by promoting cash crops, cars and Animal exploitation.

V.A: Comic Relief Sponsored by Cash Crop Exploiters.

The main cash crop donor was pg tips, “PG Tips tea bags come with one of four audio cassettes featuring top comedy. Send off for best of Comic Relief video for £5.99 + 10 tokens and £2.50 goes to Comic Relief.”[71]

V.B: Comic Relief Sponsored by the Car, and Car Related, Industries.

One of biggest sponsors of the 1995 comical relief was ........ shell whose appalling activities have been highlighted above. Comic relief’s ‘daily nose’ newspaper carried a shell advert promoting comic relief and also an article about shell’s participation in the event. The article enthusiastically encouraged people to visit shell service stations to buy a comical relief red nose for their car, “Buy your car nose exclusively at participating shell service stations”. They cost £1.50 - “at least £1.00 of which is donated to Comic Relief”. It was pointed out that if motorists didn’t want to pay for one they could use their shell smart card .. “the smartest way to give your motor an extra hooter is with a shell smart card. If you already have one, use it to pick a nose for 10 smart points.”[72] The article urged, “So hit the road, head straight for a Shell Service station and give your car a real change of gear.”

Comical relief’s request that motorists put red noses on the front of their cars was a publicity stunts to draw attention to its campaign. But, in doing so it also legitimized the car - one of the major causes of third world poverty.

Comical relief also offered four cars as prizes in a competition, “Follow Your Nose phone competition”. The four cars were a honda crx 1.6. esi; a ford mondeo; a renault 19 cabriolet; and, a landrover discovery.

V.C: Comic Relief Sponsored by Animal Exploiters.

The 1995 comical relief also entailed a deal with ‘burger king’ to sell red noses. This was a good deal for both comical relief and the Animal murderers. The former obtained prominent places in high streets up and down the country where people could get involved in comical relief by buying red noses, whilst the latter obtained some invaluable, good clean, wholesome publicity - with no hint of screaming Animals, blood splattered abbattoir walls, or contaminated carcasses.

As a result of this deal, comical relief were in effect legitimizing Animal murder. Presumably, as far as comical relief was concerned, if people bought a burger in one of these outlets although they might be depriving someone in the third world of food, they shouldn’t worry about this because their red nose donation will doubtlessly provide that starving person with the means of staving off malnutrition and death. This seems like a good deal between the first and third worlds - starving kids in third world countries give up their land so that consumers in the west can stuff their fat faces and look great giving a pittance to save starving third world kids. In ‘the daily nose’[73] Angus dayton and hugh laurie are pictured lapping up a pile of four burgers from burger king. The mundi club would love to know:-

* where the meat came from;

* where the crops that fattened these Animals were grown;

* the cost of the crop in terms of the lives of third world people;

* the ecological damage caused to third world countries,and

* the damage done to the Earth's life support system.

One wonders whether angus dayton is bothered about such issues as long as he’s looking good in publicity stunts which boost his consumer popularity rating and, correspondingly, increases his chances of getting further lucrative voice-overs for yet more car commercials - having already done one for renault. This is a fine example of the way that comical relief has become a big money spinning operation for alternative comics. The brutish political establishment has always been known for its barbarity and hypocrisy and it’s just great to see such a fine tradition manifesting itself amongst lefty, anti-sexist, anti-racist, brutish comics.

VI: For Terra’s Sake Give us some Relief from Comic Relief.

Comic relief was inspired by sir bob geldoff’s live aid concert in aid of ethiopia. In recent years one of comic relief’s most prominent contributors has been lenny henry. It is not known whether lenny is a car owner or car fanatic like his comical establishment chums but he certainly enjoys promoting the murder of Animals by doing voice overs for a multi-national factory pharm corporation. It’s strange this, a black man, who has doubtlessly experienced racial prejudice, but who supports the oppression and mass murder of Animals. Black liberation for him means earning more money to murder more Animals.

VI.A: Third World Poverty caused by Coffee.

So, what does lenny have to say about his involvement in comical relief? “What really annoyed me, he says, “was that people were having to grow crops like coffee, rather than food, to pay off the country’s debts to the western world.”[74] Oh really? People are starving in third world countries because they’re having to grow coffee? The mundi club had no idea the entire third world was covered in coffee plantations. Presumably every time lenny flies off to africa on a comic relief jaunt he looks down out of his luxurious aircraft and all he can see, stretching from horizon to horizon, are coffee plantations. Perhaps he’s been overdosing on his all expenses paid refreshments.

Coffee plantations occupy a tiny percentage of land in disintegrating/industrializing countries. The amount of land used to grow coffee in the third world is insignificant in comparison to the amount of land used to grow crops to feed livestock Animals and the amount of pastureland. In third world countries, poverty and inequitable land distribution are caused primarily by the Animal exploitation industry not by coffee.

So why is lenny complaining about coffee when Animal exploitation is a much more serious issue? Why isn’t he objecting to the millions of people made landless by the creation of cash crops and pastureland? Why isn’t he protesting about those who can’t grow their own food because the land is being used to provide meat for consumers in the over-industrialized nations? It would be interesting to know whether any of the poverty stricken children that lenny has met, and been photographed with, on his many comical relief travels have been pushed off their land by the livestock industry. Is it possible that lenny has met kids who are starving because crops have been exported to brutland to feed Animals? Is it possible he might have met kids who are starving because crops have been exported to brutland to fatten Animals which have been slaughtered and turned into birds eye meat products? But, wait a minute, doesn’t dear old lenny earn a large sum of money doing voice-overs for birds eye meat products? What a coincidence that would be. Fancy that. There he is jetting off around the world to save, in front of the television cameras, thousands of starving kids whilst making a bomb out of voice-overs for meat products which could have been produced by exporting crops grown in the vicinity of these starving kids. And, just to complete this hypothetical cycle of corruption, it should not be forgotten that the publicity from comical relief helps to boost lenny’s consumer appeal thereby increasing the sales of birds eye meat products and thus increasing the import of feedstuff and livestock from third world countries and thus further boosting the immiserization of third world children. Of course it is not known whether this has happened but, then again, does lenny know for sure that it has not???????

VI.B: Third World Poverty caused by Bananas.

Enter now the kind hearted, over-paid, over-privileged, tony robinson doing his bit for the comical relief of the poor’s assets. He wonders how to explain third world poverty to the ever receptive brutish audience. He .. “is determined to make people see beyond the red nose to the causes of Third World poverty. So he didn’t report from some exotic location during the 1995 ‘red nose day’ (like he usually does with all expenses paid - ed). Instead he presented a video for schools examining the issue of fair trade. Tony’s video is backed by notes which show pupils how the proceeds from the sale of one banana is divided among the grower, picker, shipper, importer, wholesaler and retailer.”[75]

So, here we have a new comical theory - third world poverty is caused by bananas. But why pick on bananas? Why not cocoa or tea? Rumour has it that tony was going to do a video on cocoa but then somebody told him that this might upset his dear old friend harry enfield, who was doing the voice over in slime bar commercials, and alexei-for-sale, who was doing voice overs for a series of terry’s chocolate commercials. Oh dear, oh dear. This wouldn’t have put these two comics in a very good light if the public had realized they were both commercially benefitting from a cash crop that was causing third world poverty - it might even have ruined their chances of getting further voice-overs for cash crop/car/meat commercials. Or perhaps comical relief believe that, totally unlike coffee and bananas, cocoa causes no third world poverty?

VI.C: Third World Poverty is not caused by Tea/Cocoa/Rubber plantations; the Road/Car/Oil industries; nor the Animal Exploitation Industry.

It is now possible to discern what comical relief’s views are about the causes of third world poverty. Comic relief believes that third world poverty is caused by coffee and banana plantations but has nothing to do with tea or cocoa plantations; the road/car/oil industries; nor Animal exploitation. Well isn’t this a coincidence? These views are almost exactly the same as those held by oxfam and third world first - both of whom have been campaigning against third world poverty for the last twenty five years and, as far as they are concerned, will hopefully be doing so for the next few millenia so that they can continue to make lots of money, and even a career, out of pretending to do something about global poverty whilst actually doing nothing at all. Comical relief is not highlighting the poverty caused by the trade in coffee and bananas as a means of symbolizing the poverty created by the car and Animal exploitation industries. It is highlighting these two commodities in order to cover up the more serious forms of third world exploitation.

VII: Oxfam: Destroying the Earth to Reduce Poverty; Wheels off the Rich Butchers' Cars.

One of the underlying reasons why comic relief has focussed on minor cash crop issues is because alternative comics have adopted the attitudes and beliefs held by the third world first brigade. As has just been pointed out, third world organizations tend to campaign about tea and coffee, and sometimes cocoa, but totally ignore the poverty caused by the Animal exploitation, and car, industries. Quite amazingly, far from condemning the car industry, oxfam has gone out of its way to promote the car industry in third world countries, "Eyebrows have risen over Oxfam's latest fund raising campaign launched in September. It seems the Oxford-based charity has teamed up with Proton, Malaysia's state-supported car company, in a test drive campaign to raise £1 million for the charity. Over the next 18 months Proton Cars (UK) and its 200 strong dealer network will donate £5 to Oxfam for every Proton customer test drive generated by the promotion. Some have questioned how appropriate it is for Oxfam to support and encourage the use of cars in Britain and car technology in developing countries. An article on the Proton by New Internationalists in May 1989 stated that, "In 1988 Proton was $247 million in debt. Malasia's heavy debt load, for which heavy industry projects are largely responsible, has forced severe cutbacks on all government spending in the past three years, including spending on public transport, health and education."“[76]

It was pointed out above that third world elites spend a huge fraction of their country's foreign exchange earnings on importing cars and petrol. Haiti is a good example of country with little poverty where a compassionately minded ruling elite resists the temptation to buy expensive cars with state assets, "In Haiti, only one out of every 200 people owns a car, yet fully one-third of that country’s import budget is devoted to fuel and transportation."[77] So, what does oxfam recommend should be done in this situation? It believes the poor should try to find work by fixing the ruling elite's cars .. "car panels are recycled in Haiti, one of the many micro-enterprizes that may offer the poor a way out of poverty."[78]

What makes this ituation even worse is that oxfam is one of those mindless organizations which, whilst it professes a concern for the environment, knows nothing about the Earth's life support system and promotes a humanocentric philosophy which encourages further ecological destruction, "If a solution to the planet's environmental crisis is to be found before it is too late, Oxfam believes that the answer will involve putting people first, and poor people first of all."[79]

The reason for oxfam’s support for cars is primarily because so many of its staff earn such huge wages they can all afford to drive around in cars.[80] Third world first organizations impose a ban on cigarette smoking in their offices but it’s perfectly acceptable for workers to walk around eating lumps of meat which derive from third world exploitation. It would be much more appropriate to call the third world first brigade ‘the third world workers first brigade’.

Third world organizations won’t even discuss the need to campaign against cars and carnivorism. One oxfam author highlights a long list of commodities being exported from third world countries but does not mention commodities exported in connection with the Animal exploitation and car industries. See Belinda Coote ‘The Trade Trap. Poverty and the Global Commodity Markets’ Oxfam Publications, Oxford 1992. These commodities aren’t even recognized as an issue.

VIII: Pro-Third World Lefties.

For the leftie, pro-third world, intelligentsia much of the talk about third world poverty and the injustices of free trade have become focussed on two commodities - tea and coffee. (The following quote has been picked up entirely by accident and yet it exemplifies all too clearly the syndrome being criticized here, “Christian Aid is challenging local churches and institutions to take up the fair trade challenge and start serving only fair-traded tea and coffee at official events.”[81] These two commodities have been discussed for so many years and to such an extent that whenever fair trade is mentioned people almost invariably envisage these commodities. In the 1990s chocolate became a third politically sensitive commodity. Interestingly very few campaigns have protested directly about cocoa - perhaps for the simple reason that this commodity has such intense homely connotations it would seem to be completely unrelated to the barbarities of third world trade so protests about it would sound ridiculous. Chocolate is a much more politically manipulable concept. Tea and coffee are no longer mere symbols of an unjust trading system but have become almost its very substance.

How many times have leftie intellectuals demanded an end to Animal exploitation because it is by far and away the most important cause of third world poverty? How many times have they insisted on banning cars because it is one of the major causes of third world poverty? But then how could they possibly find the time to campaign against carnivorism and cars when many of them are employed by pro third world organizations, on wages substantially above the global average, to prepare campaigns highlighting the inequalities in global trade in .... er, uhm ... coffee/tea.

IX: Comic Relief is a Fund Raising Event in Aid of Comic Relief Comics.

Comical relief is supposed to be a charity which raises money to combat third world poverty. Whilst it raises a substantial amount of money the main effect of its campaign is to:-

* legitimize commodities produced as a result of third world exploitation,

* give moral respectability to brutish consumerism of third world products,

* provide respectability for companies involved in third world poverty.

These detrimental ideological impacts of comical relief's campaigns far outweigh the puny number of third world projects which comic relief are financing to beat poverty. The greater the support which comical relief gives to consumerism, the greater the number of cash crops, the greater will be third world poverty.

Comical relief’s ignorance of the nature of third world poverty leads to the promotion of self defeating campaigns. But surely comical relief can’t be that ignorant about third world poverty? It has to be suspected that comical relief’s real objective is the creation of good wholesome images for comic relief stars which will boost their consumerist popularity rating and thus enable them to do even more voice-overs for commercials featuring commodities which exacerbate third world poverty. It seems mighty convenient that comical relief does not condemn the commodities e.g. meat, cars, cocoa, etc., which are being advertised by a number of appallingly degenerate alternative comedians.

If the combined income of Britain's alternative comedians was added up, it would probably be equal to the gross domestic product of one of the African countries whose plight these prats are trying to highlight. There's absolutely no difference between on the one side bernard manning, jim davidson, etc., and, on the other, alternative comics because they're all degenerate Earth-rapist, oomano imperialists entertaining meat gobbin, car-driving Earth rapist consumers whilst helping to impoverish third world peoples. To repeat, "The magnitude of the food value involved in this (meat) trade is significant: the 500 million people suffering starvation could find relief from this condition if they had the cash to buy the grains exported to industrial country feedlots. In that sense, the present level of meat consumption in the wealthy industrialized countries is directly related to starvation in the poor countries of the world."[82]