I returned home to my little cottage 2 hours south of Wolf Lake where the
Sign Language Program was located and waited. If I could have afforded to stay
at Wolf Lake the three weeks until summer school started I would have. But
seeing that I had no job and no real resources I returned home and contemplated
all that I had learned over the year. It was the first time I really considered
what being deaf was like for people.
What is it to be deaf? If you have no concept of what sound is then not hearing
the world around you means nothing. Deafness means you rely on other sensory
perceptions to interpret what is happening in your world. You wake up to a light
flashing in your face or maybe your head being shaken by a pillow vibrator. You
know when someone is calling you by a light flashing. You talk to your friends
by typing messages on, a TTY, a typewriter keyboard that relays what you are
saying to your friend or perhaps a relay operator who then changes what you are
saying via written words into spoken language. Then there is also the pager that
I mentioned Emily and Jane using. It's a miniature TTY that has a keyboard and
can send messages to computers, other pagers and if you fork over enough money
what you type on it will be relayed to a hearing person via a regular phone. The
computer is another godsend for the deaf. Another means of communication that 30
years ago was beyond their reach. Closed Caption, the device on the TV, that
turns spoken language into Teletype text is another godsend. The list goes on.
Even with all these devices there are many things that still are beyond the
reach of a deaf person. No matter what drive-up windows say about having picture
cards for the hearing impaired, deaf still cannot easily order from a drive up
window. They have no way of knowing when to place an order. There are no
signalers on the computer screen at fast food places that tell deaf the things
they'd need to know in order to place an order. And if they don't have speech
how do they communicate what they want to eat? There is no computer keyboard or
touch screen that would allow them to place an order from their car.
Every day life for a deaf person can be fraught with roadblocks because no one
has taken the time to make things easier for them. It took years and years of
pressure by Deaf organizations to get the Closed Caption mandate for TV's.
Shouldn't it have been a right for people to be able to know what was going on
in their world? Even now most cities that are not metropolises don't have real
time caption on their news programs. The day the Twin Tower's were hit by the
terrorist hijacked planes it took five minutes of news footage before it was
finally converted to caption. Five minutes where deaf people had to sit in fear
that we were at war when their hearing counterparts knew what was happening
immediately. Is it fair? Shouldn't they have the same equal rights as hearing?
Why should they live in fear because of the huge gulf that not having caption on
programs lends to?
I'm latten deaf. I became deaf in my twenties. I hear with hearing aids at about
40 to 50% of what is said. Without my hearing aids you could put a siren next to
my head and the chances that I'd hear it are basically none. I live in fear. I
fear the things I don't understand. I fear making my way through life being deaf
because so much of the world is made only for the hearing.
Several years ago I flew to New York City alone. Going was fine. Then it was
time to return home. I had gone to the airport 5 hours before my flight was due
for departure. I told the lady at the check in counter I was deaf. She said to
tell the ticket agent at my gate. I went with my friend and saw her board her
plane to California after an hour delay. I thought nothing of the delay. Then I
went to my gate and sat for an hour. About the time I thought I should approach
my gate agent over the loudspeaker a man started naming flights that were
cancelled or delayed. By the end of that night over 300 flights had been
cancelled, mine was one of them. The man on the speaker was barely audible to me
over the den of voices around my gate. I had no clue if my flight was cancelled.
I had no clue what I should do. There were no signs or instructions for people
with hearing, visual or other limitations telling them where to go for help. I
knew I'd never understand what I was being told if I approached the gate agents
with that many people in line.
I went to the boards that tell arrivals and departures. My flight was still
listed as being okay. The man on the speaker was continually naming off flights.
I was utterly alone and confused with nowhere to turn. I got in a long line to
the gate agent's counter where maybe 500 people stood. I waited in tears. A very
nice woman behind me asked what was wrong. I explained that I didn't know what
was happening. She left her husband in line and went and found a gate agent for
me. They pulled me out of line and took me to the special needs area that was
not marked.
Eventually, the airline tried to call friends for me in New York. They tried to
call my parents and tell them I wouldn't be home that night. Next I was asked if
I could stay alone in a hotel. I didn't see how. I can sleep in my hearing aids
but they could have come out during the night or I could have turned it into the
pillow or turned them off during my sleep. How would I hear a wake up call so
that I could get back to the airport for my 9 am flight home? I didn't have my
flashing, buzzing alarm clock with me and hotels are not equipped with them. At
3 am they sent a ticket agent and myself to a hotel where the agent was to stay
the night in the room next door to me. If I didn't wake up to her phone call she
had my door key and would come in and wake me. I slept in my hearing aid even
though there was someone available to help me. The next morning when she called
I did hear the phone and saved myself the embarrassment of being woken by a
complete stranger.
Luckily everything worked out for me but the experience left me afraid to fly
alone. I'm thankful for Penny and all her help but should I have had to have all
the fears I did? Shouldn't there have been some sort of indication of what to do
if you have a limitation located for deaf or anyone to see? Where my needs met?
Hearing people there had their needs met yet I and countless others like me had
to live with the panic and fear of the unknown. Can you put yourself in my place
and feel how frightening that situation was?
This is what life for the deaf can be like. Every day we step out into the world
we have to deal with obstacles that a hearing person wouldn't even consider.
Loudspeakers giving directions that we can't hear. A siren warning of tornado's
or fire in places not equipped with lights telling us of the impending danger,
the sound of a train at a crossing where no signals or gates are present.
Everyday we must use visual perception to interpret our world but if there are
no visual clues we are just plain out of luck. Everyday things that a hearing
person takes for granted could change the course of a deaf person's life.
Until I stepped into my first ASL class at Wolf Lake Community College I had
very little knowledge of what it meant to be deaf. I saw the world around me as
a hearing person would. I admit on my bad hearing days to hating drive-up
windows but in general I took a lot of the hearing world for granted. Now I step
back and think every time I enter a new situation how a deaf person would
interpret what was happening. It is those times that have made me re-evaluate
just how unequal in rights our great country is and I am shamed. So much for
"All Men Are Created Equal."
I was sitting at my computer contemplating the equality of the lives of deaf vs.
hearing when the flag on my email came up saying I had mail. I can't rely on the
voice saying it you know. Summer School was to start the following Monday, 4
days from then. I hadn't heard from Emily in the interim between the final and
that moment. I really hadn't expected that I would. I had decided that if she
needed me she would contact me. I wanted her to rest and not have to sit and
worry about keeping me up-to-date on her condition. If she was like many
pregnant women I know looking at a computer screen would have made her sick and
dizzy anyway. I clicked on my flag. It was a message from Jane.
"Rachel, Emily's in the hospital. No one knows except me. I told those who
want to know where she is that she took a short vacation to Mackinac Island,
Michigan and will be returning soon. She dehydrates from Morning sickness. They
give her IV fluids and anti-nausea medication. She wants me at school getting
ready for students. I want to stay with her at the hospital. One of the
hospital's interpreters is on vacation, the other is sick. Neither Emily nor I
are being told exactly what is happening. I don't think the doctor tell her
everything. He probably thinks she not understand. I hate to ask but can you
return to Wolf Lake... today?" was what Jane wrote. Jane didn't always
write emails with the best of English Grammar but who really could fault her
since English was her second language? There are no ing or ly endings in ASL.
Also in ASL the subject usually comes first. So instead of the English,
"What is your name?" in ASL it would be "You Name What You?
According to the American Disability Act (ADA) the hospital was required to have
an interpreter. I guess there isn't much to be done if one isn't available
except call on friends who happen to know ASL and are oral. Since Emily wanted
to keep the pregnancy a secret, at least at that time, Jane had no choice but to
contact me. I'm nowhere near being an interpreter for the deaf nor do I want to
be. I'm too deaf myself. It had to have been very hard for Jane to ask me for
help. I was amazed and a tad bit honored.
I thought perhaps it was for the best that the hospital's interpreters were not
available. The deaf community is small in Wolf Lake even though it's a suburb of
a major city. If the interpreter has no legal restraints saying they can't
repeat what they interpret; no doctor patient confidentiality clause in the
interpreter's contract, who's to say that they can't tell whomever they darn
well please. If that was the case Emily's secret could have been told. Of course
I could be wrong in coming to that conclusion. I don't know what the moral and
ethical rules are for interpreters. I really will have to remember to ask Emily
sometime.
I feared that in someway I would become an oppressor in doing what Jane and
Emily were asking me to do. I didn't want to hurt them. I was afraid of the
responsibility yet as I looked around my house and said to hell with cleaning I
knew I'd try my best to help. I threw enough clothes in a suitcase to last a
week. I poured cat food into 2 bowls and water into 3 and kissed my own two
furry beasties bye as I ran out the door. I stopped at my parents house long
enough to inform them I had an emergency to take care of at school and to look
in on my babies before I jumped into my car and headed off hoping I wouldn't
make matters worse.
Four hours later, I stood in Emily's room on the maternity floor of the local
hospital staring angrily at the doctor who had refused to tell Emily medical
facts only because she couldn't hear. He assumed stereotypically that her
hearing precluded understanding anything beyond basic concepts. "Dr. Stone,
she wants to know exactly what is happening." I said tersely. "Tell me
and I will tell her. She knows you are not telling her everything."
He gave me a dirty look, "Will she understand?"
"Do you? She has a Master's degree. Do they grow on trees? She's one smart
cookie and you are being obtuse," I replied turning and signing to Emily
what I had said.
She smiled as she signed back, "Tell me the truth. It's all I want."
"She wants the straight story. So what is it?" I said angrily.
"Physically, she is improving. After she is released she needs to drink as
much water and fluids as she can to keep from getting re-dehydrated." I was
trying to sign what he was saying but it was slow going since I still had to
fingerspell 70% of what was said. "Our major concern was the Hyperemesis
Gravidarum. She exhibited blood in her urine along with, bile, albumin, and
ketone bodies from starvation and tachycardia on admittance plus a 5% loss of
body weight. Currently we are treating her with IV fluids, vitamins and
anti-nausea medication. She most likely will need to continue the nausea
medication and increased prenatal vitamins until her morning sickness has
subsided. Unfortunately HG tends to last at least until the 20th week and then
can reoccur at the end of the pregnancy," Dr. Stone finished long before I
did.
Emily signed, "Will this hurt the baby?" I repeated what she asked to
the doctor.
"No, there is no indication that HG has an adverse effect on fetal
development," he stated as I signed. I hoped I was hearing everything he
was saying correctly. Occasionally I had had to have him repeat what he had
said.
I had a question of my own that I asked, "Is it possible that this is not
HG but related to high stress? The reason I ask is she doesn't fit any of the
normal categories for who gets HG besides it being a first pregnancy "
He gave me a dirty look, "It's possible but not likely. She had all the
symptoms associated with Hyperemesis Gravidarum."
I repeated the conversation to Emily and then asked her, "Do you have more
questions?"
"When can I go home?" she signed back and I interpreted for her.
"If your lab results come back tomorrow within normal limits I will release
you."
Emily nodded her understanding and I breathed a sigh of relief when the
pompous-ass of a doctor left the room. "You like him?" I asked.
"No, Not my doctor. My doctor is away for the week. Everyone has gone on
vacation."
I shook my head, "He is an oppressor, isn't he?"
"Yes, he has the pejorative view of deaf people," Emily replied after
pulling her long frame up in the bed.
"How did your first doctor's appointment go?"
"Like you told me it would. I'm having a Christmas baby."
I smiled, "Dec. 25 is your due date?"
"A Christmas Miracle," Emily replied with a smile lighting her face.