October 31, 2002
Time:::1:46 p.m.
Mood::: god why...
Listening to:::---
Fuck me.
October 13, 2002
Time:::11:30 a.m.
Mood::: ..........
Listening to:::---
Can you give me proof of your existance?
Ghosts- What does it mean to be HUMAN? What does it mean to EXIST?
(Ghost in the Shell)
I haven't posted in while...and life hasn't really been busy, only aggrivating and unfair. But thats how it has always been, and how It always will be. Challenges are thrown our way to overcome them and learn from them. Eventually, when the end comes, peace and tranquility will be acheived, but I have since realized that It will never be easy getting there, and for most of the time, it will be lonely. I have tried to keep myself happy, yet that happiness, in reality, has only provided me with temporary escape. Still deep down, I feel like i'm not actually happy; only empty and alone. No one seems to understand the motion of things, and especially no one understands me. What the hell am I supposed to do next? and how am I supposed to go about it? ..........(maybe I'm bipolar??)
October 4, 2002
Time:::10:53 p.m.
Mood:::eh?!?
Listening to:::---
Run Lola Run...I have always wanted to see that movie and I finally did... It is such an amazing movie... So simple, yet at the same time, horribly complex. I'm still thinking about it, and what actually took place during it...well, I'm definatly adding it to my favorites.
WOOO! I spent time with the Kaitlins! (two girls both named kaitlin..but spelled different...so now I officially know 3 kaitlins!!) Kaitlen is sooo much fun! I definatly want to hang out with her again. And you know what else happened today? I actually had a semi-long conversation with mark today. I dunno how it came about really, I just kinda walked with him to his locker, and then to lunch (which took a along time for somereason). Still the same old mark..but something was different about him this time...I don't know what...but he just seemed..less enthusiastic/happy. and I didn't like seeing him like that... Augh, well im getting kind of tierd, so I'll stop here. G'niteys!
October 3, 2002
Time:::9:00 p.m.
Mood:::peaceful
Listening to::: What a Wonderful World- Louie Armstrong
I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"
I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Oh yeah
*sighs* I picked up my cat chadwinn and danced with him in my room to that song. Im in an awesome mood right now. Very peaceful, the world can't touch me. And you know why? Because Ive figured out one of the biggest secrets about life, well, my life to be specific. Hmm, life truely is wonderful, and Im so very happy. Yes, school does suck, but why bother letting it bring me down and get me all stressed out? Theres no reason. And another thing, I also came to the realization that I missed my chance with one of my guy friends, but then, Ive also come to realize that its better this way. As long as In friends with this guy, im happy, because he just means so damn much to me. And no, Im not just saying that to try and cheer myself up and forget him, im seriously happy just the same. ^_^ OH!!! heh heh heh, guess what else I did today? I took a break from studying and started to teach myself how to skateboard! Its amazingly so much fun, and Its a lot like snowboarding, which makes it all the easier! And on an even better note, I haven't clutzed out for two days straight now!! How could it possibly get anny better than this? P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER AND SISTER!!!!!
October 2, 2002
Time:::6:59 p.m.
Mood:::smiley
Listening to::: Finch, I want you to know (okay..so I DON'T know the name of the song)
Before school started out this morning, everything was going great! I had just discovered something amazing...but I feel that its my obligation not to tell anyone else, I want them to discover it on their own. Im so excited though, my whole outlook on life has changed..amazing. But, I want to write it all down eventually so I won't ever forget it. Annyways, I also came to another realization today/last night, and its going to make my life so much easier. Ah well. Hehe, Annnyways, 10 minutes ago I just randomly stole all the pillows off our couch, brought them to my room and piled them on my bed. And for no good reason other than pure childish enjoyment, I stood on the edge of my bed and jumped/fell onto the pile repeatedly. And you see folks, thats why I have no friends. Yesss!!!
September 29, 2002
Time:::1:00p.m.
Mood:::sleepy
Listening to::: Simple and clean- Utada Hikaru(sp?)
Woah..heh heh I just woke up and I'm already getting yelled at. Well, Nothing important happening today, just going to my grandmas later on tonight. Friday was a lot of fun. It was a great school day, and then afterwards Tiffany came home with ashley and I, went to the suicide machines concert later that night (which was just amazing by the way) and we just hung out for the rest of the night, talking until we fell asleep. When we woke up yesterday, we made THE BEST PANCAKES I'VE EVER HAD and then painted the stars on my room! it turned out so great, im amazed. It was just an all around good time. But after she left, my dad went into ultra bitch mode. I tried to keep myself happy but the things he did were just wrong. I just kept to myself though, and started making a new layout for this site. Its okay, nothing to exciting, I think I want to add japaneese writing to it to make it a little more better. Ah well, I have to go clean my room so I don't get yelled at some more. luvies...
September 25, 2002
Time::9:35m.
Mood:::eesh..
Listening to::: Simple and clean (kingdom hearts ...WOO!!!!!!!!)
Woo, spending the whole next week at my dads, so excited...<./.SARCASM.> hEH! almost done with kingdom hearts!!! YEAAAAAAHHHH..lol..i am gonna go play it now! I have no life...and no friends! how exciting!
September 24, 2002
Time::8:39 p.m.
Mood:::hmmm
Listening to::: Pure Snow- Sasaki Yuko
Today I am happy with life. I'm almost done with my game, and im having fun. Not much else to say, except that Ive been doing alot of thinking...and talking to myself...haha. And I haven't really been paying attention in class. I'm just in my own little world, usually fidgeting with something or staring off into space, and once in a while I'll start quietly laughing to myself or start grinning like an idiot. Well, at least thats what people tell me when class is over, haha. It was a very blonde day today, almost scary. You want to know how scary? I debated with myself the origin of the word 'cartwheel', and drew pictures of little kids replacing the wheels on carts...frightening. Well, its time for me to go and search for food...luvies!
September 22, 2002
Time:::7:47 p.m.
Mood:::~.O
Listening to::: Vanilla Ice- Ninja turtle rap
Yo! its the green machine. Gonna rock the town with out bein seen. Have you ever seen a turtle get down? Slammin and Jammin to a new-street sound. HAHAHAHAHA *falls over laughing* .... *gets back up* HAH! I have NO life!! All I have done today was play kindgom hearts since what, 10 in the morning? haha But oh man, that game is SO much FUN!!! WOOOO. OH! haha and I have added a few more battle wounds to my collection too! ^_^ On Friday, ashley, kaitlin and I were playing in the rain on ashleys driveway, and I took a flying leap down her driveway like always (its extremly slanted) and halfway in the air I thought to myself. "woah! not gonna make it!" SLAM haha. and before I knew it I was face down on her concreat laughing my ass off. AUGH well I gotta finish all the homework I have left, LUVIES!! *waves*
September 19, 2002
Time:::4:12 p.m.
Mood:::>.O
Listening to::: By the way- Red hot chili peppers
It amazes me how dumb I really am. Haha, today was a VERY blonde day. *points to head* its empty! theres nothing in there! Haha, All I did today was draw, and trip over myself repeatedly. Im already ready for school to end. Ah well. Yesterday, wow. I was DEFINATLY overreacting and made a huge deal out of nothing. *sigh* but what can ya do? hmmm, You know what? I want a sword. A wicked, shiny, really sharp one. That would be awesome....WOAH, sorry, that was increadibly random...
