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I was boarding the bus one evening after class. The bus was clamorous and crowded, as usual, and I squeezed my way through to the middle of the bus. It came to a point when I felt like a shrimp in the middle of a pot of fried rice (okay, that was lame; pardon me). I then stood still in the middle of the aisle, where I could comfortably catch a clear view of what TV Mobile was showing. TV Mobile can go and die, by the way. It sucks like shit.
The bus then came to a bus-stand. More passengers boarded, exacerbating whatever catastrophe we already had onboard. I was forced to lean forward against a chair, and my crotch was inevitably an inch or two away from a seated woman in her mid-forties (it was a presumption), who displayed a look of dismay but could not do anything about it. You see, lady, that is what you get for not letting me take your seat. I attempted a fart too, but failed. Asphyxiating every single soul onboard would be kick-ass to the core, and definitely an exclusive task for someone heroic like me, but my colons were not compliant. Too bad then, I thought.
This is not the best part yet.
As the horde of people swarmed in the vehicle, passengers were also alighting and I had to not only make way for boarding passengers, but alighting ones as well. I felt someone brushed against my bag, so I turned back to see who it was, and if I needed to give way to him. I caught sight of a five-foot-one (seriously) old boney man who wore shades. Immediately he asked me a question which was so stupid I almost refused to respond.
"Is there anything wrong with me touching your bag?" was what he said.
"Um, no sir," I said, trying to be polite. Apparently the bus was not roofed and sunlight was penetrating into the interior of the bus. Otherwise why the hell would he wear shades?
"Then why did you give me that kind of look? You think I dare not call up the Anderson principal and report your behaviour? You don't even have basic manners!" he berated me and stormed to the back thereafter (looks like he valued his balls after all).
I just nodded and looked away. Just a bloody old man trying to be angry and show his frustrations. Firstly, I am not from Anderson Secondary School, and it would be outrageously hilarious if he did make a report to the school. Secondly, if I really had the intention to leer at him, I would be looking over my shoulder and mumble "fuck you" audible enough for him to hear, not stepping aside considerately, turn around completely and give way with the graciousness of a saint. Would it not make more sense that I was doing the latter? Since when do people leer at and be gracious to you in tandem? Some people are just so fucking stupid. Stupid, hideous, old, ill-mannered, cranky, quick-tempered, obtuse and condescending.
If I could chop him into four pieces, I would separate his penis, left testicle and right testicle from his body with a kitchen knife. Little man needs to be taught a lesson, and it is best taught through castration and limb amputation.
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