| Articles » Kotex and break dancing are NOT synonymous. |
You know, I have an odd tendency of picking on minor and trivial things I encounter in television and newspapers. It is a weird habit, yes, but I know I am not at fault. If they were to make things like commercials a little less unbearable, then I might consider permanent abstinence from complaining. That is if. But until then, keep those trashy nonsense coming; I like being amused. I refer to one particular advertisement which many of us would probably be familiar with (assuming you are not the discriminating viewer who switches the channel every time a commercial airs. What is wrong with them!? Put the remote down, asshole).
Anyway, the advertisement I was mentioning starts out with a team of netball players performing some warm-up routines in a sports hall. Wow, a group of young ladies and nobody else. Am I the only one who see sexual discrimination in this scene? Maybe it is just me. Anyway, the camera shows all the girls in sequence, who are all dressed in jerseys and offering sleazy smiles. Next, they start doing some back stretches when the music hits abruptly and suddenly, they break into a frenzy of extreme excitement (or sexual arousement) and start capering and prancing around like the mentally-disabled (notice my political correctness). In the middle of all the heated exhilaration, there is a cut-scene and the camera shows an open bag with something inside.
Guess what is inside?
Kotex.
Holy shit, I almost vomitted all the instant noodles I ate half an hour ago all over the couch during that scene. Really. Oh, on a side note, anyone who thinks I am pitiful for eating instant noodles can go and die. Instant noodles kick ass and I enjoy eating them, so piss off. So back to the commercial, the girls continue to dance and one of them even had the audacity to pretend to be part of the hip-hop culture by break dancing. That lame ass girl did an L-kick (more commonly known as an Au Batido to the elite), a manoeuvre so elementary that even my 10-year-old brother can pull off. Almost.
Why are the television stations today so inconsiderate? Is it really necessary to air sanitary napkin commercials during meal hours? Or is it a conspiracy with local pharmacies so that the sales of anti-vomitting medicine increase? Still, I am truly impressed by the marketing path they chose. So what does the advertisement tell us?
"Use Kotex and you will be able to break dance."
Now that I am on the subject of sanitary napkins, there is another pad commercial I would like to bring forward. I forgot which brand it was for, but I must admit that the designers of the company came up with a brilliant, unthinkable innovation. An innovation which offers 35 cm of all-round protection. That is right -- a sanitary napkin which stretches 35 cm; all the way up the ass crack to the base of the spine, in case of any other leakages or secretions aside from the usual menstrual bleeding. GROSS!!!
But even if their customers ever needed that feature, they would just be better off with baby diapers. Not only do baby diapers offer much better absorption, there are also very little chances of skin allergy or rashes, since diapers are made to be suitable for a baby's delicate and sensitive skin. At least the diapers offer two extra features not available with sanitary pads. I will leave them for you to guess; they are pretty obvious.
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