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For those of you who do not own television sets, the quote above is from the reality television show "Fear Factor". Every time I watch Fear Factor, I never fail to switch the channel when that goofy host, Joe Rogan, is just about to announce the winner. That is when he repeats that hackneyed phrase over and over again, week after week and season after season. I have to be frank. "Fear is not a factor for you" is the most painful phrase to hear on television. I know they have to stay in theme with the show's name but come on, Joe, you can be more original than that, can't you?
I am sure avid viewers of Fear Factor can relate to me on my feeling on this. Yes, we all want to tape Rogan's mouth with duct tape to really stop him from traumatising millions with his ever-so-genuine clichés. It is his vast repertoire of words which pisses people off. Don't believe me? Tune in to the next Fear Factor. Here is what you can expect to hear (or will definitely hear):
"You've all been brought here from all over the country for one single reason. To stare fear in the eyes as you compete for $50,000. To win the money, you've got to complete three extreme stunts. Stunts which will not only test you physically, but mentally as well. If you're too afraid to attempt the stunt, you're eliminated. If you attempt the stunt but fail to complete it, you're gone. However, if you succeed, you will move on to the next round and be that much closer to the cash. Ready to see your first stunt?"
Wow. I can still remember his opening phrase verbatim even though I have not watched that show in months. Could this be because he has repeated it so often that it is etched on me? It does not end yet:
*Pseudo-thrilling music knocks in!*
"You will each be strapped on that triangular platform which is suspended more than 200 feet in the air. You will have to untie yourself with your teeth and take a leak off the platform on one foot. To make it more difficult for you, we will be spraying sulphuric acid and rotating the platform at 50 revolutions per second while you are at it. And if that is not enough, you will be strapped on the underside of the platform with your face down. The time stops when you finish urinating. Whoever does this the fastest will advance to the next round. We have RANDOMLY selected (yeah right) who gets to go first, and , you are lucky number one."
What the hell is Joe Rogan up to? This shit gets repeated on every single show and none of these has ever changed throughout the years. I know the producers are making you a crazy clown by making you repeat those lines, Joe, so why not grow a pair and leave your job?
You think the phrases are the only clichés on Fear Factor? Oh, you wish. You can expect to find at least one sissy girI who is always claiming to be "gentle outside but tough inside" on every episode. Trust me on this. I always chuckle mildly to myself when I hear a girl with the biggest pair of breasts and the most delicate voice say "I know many people underestimate my abilities but I am going to prove them wrong". Right. They do not want to be viewed as soft and weak. What is with these girls and their "girl power" attitude anyway? They are forever advocating that they are just as strong and physically capable as their male counterparts. Ridiculous people.
The problem is they always end up having to hear Joe Rogan say "I am sorry that I have to send you packing", followed by "take it easy" to pacify their sissy-ass emotional breakdowns. Too bad, looks like you just cannot cut it, weakling. I am sure you have girl power, but save that for gardening and stitching.
I am not saying Fear Factor is a lousy show; just remove those redundant phrases and bar over-optimistic contestants from participating. Do not get me wrong, Fear Factor still is a kick-ass show.
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