| Articles » I boycott diarrhoea. |
That is it, I am finished with diarrhoea. I am not going to have diarrhoea anymore. Diarrhoea is history. Whoever invented diarrhoea, I hope your (grand)children get birth defects. I once thought that diarrhoea was funny when it happened to other assholes (no pun intended), but finally, diarrhoea has unleashed its wrath on me -- of all people -- me. It takes some major guts to try to ridicule me, but diarrhoea did it anyway. Seriously, who wants to get some almost-fatal stomach ache (yes, it is that serious), only to shit yourself, soil your pants and be the butt of jokes if you cannot hold it? Not me, that is who.
Diarrhoea is the worst thing that could happen to anyone. If you think bankruptcy, imprisonment, AIDS, amputation or death is worse, stop lying to yourself. The only thing which is worse than having diarrhoea is drinking diarrhoea.
Diarrhoea is the most painful thing on earth. It is more painful than castration without anaesthetic; more painful than sliding down a 500-foot slide of razor blades landing into a pool of salt. To hell with cancer patients and war refugees, what do they know about pain and suffering? Diarrhoea is true pain. Having diarrhoea is as excruciating as having a bullet shot through your left lung. Unbelievable? Try eating KFC's Cheese Fries and wait. The only time I am agreeing to having diarrhoea is when I get a free lifetime supply of anti-diarrhoea medicine. Just joking. I would rather die.
One time, I was swimming in a wading pool while having a stomach ache, but I could not hold it and made the entire pool muddy and turbid. Not only was I fined later, I also lost my swimming trunk. The only good thing which happened was I ruined the pool for everyone else. I think I saw one poor child drowning in a pool of my diarrhoea. I kicked ass.
Diarrhoea is evil. Boycott it.
Back to articles | Comment here |
|
|