Don't be sad 
When you accidentally say you love me
Don't worry anymore--
Please forget me
The time we shared together
You will forget soon
And only I
Will remember these memories

In every person's life
There is a moment when they love blindly
And I know
You won't love me anymore
But I won't forget
The time we spent together
Because I had given you
My heart and soul

And I know you will forget
All the love songs you dedicated to me
And I know your heart
Has other pictures of love - not only mine
And I won't blame you anymore
When I see you with another
So in love

There is a moment in your life
When you truly did love me
And only thought of me
Although that moment is gone
I will always remember
That once in my life
You were truly mine

Oh God
I've been waiting
	Searching without myself
		Reaching without myself
Pure.

God
I've been aching
empty
lonely
	without companion
I've been waiting	
		searching
			reaching
I've been naked my whole life

Thunderous incomplete
Deafening rush you end repeat

I've been
	I was
	     I am
waiting?

It's long, long I've wondered, whispered, feared, inevitable

do I want it anymore?
can I want it anymore?

can't explain
	haunt is such a tiny word
		soft romantic, fumbles this
deep rich hard alive burn I feel

crippling hunger
	burns me from the inside out
	leaves me blind and without doubt
must seek
find
know
finish

Oh God.

I don't know what or when or how or who
But I'm putting all my faith in you.

with every glance out the window, every walk,
every strange moment, every thought, every dream
every song, every word, every heart beat in the silence, I am...??
Seeking, reaching, knowing, feeling, breathing, 
			stretching my existence, straining my 
existence for.....you?

Am I hunting am I missing is it real?  lonelyloveilove
for I live all the same
	romanced by the idea of it
		convinced by the sensation of it
			bathed by the raw reoccurring beauty of it
tells me what I am
	speaks in a language I can't recognize but do
	touches me with a sensation I can't feel but do
	soft hard light dark sweet erotic agony release faith stranger
I relinquish I surrendor I stand strong
prepared, taut, ready
	innocent shameless broken empty careless steady
won't you find me?  won't you find me?  I'm alive...

I was afraid and shaking
my body shuddered in the darkness
as my eyes welled up with tears.
"I'm so alone...please..someone..help me.."

She extended her hand to me,
"Don't be afraid."
I questioned her, I wasn't sure. 
"I'll be your friend."

Suddenly, the darkness was gone. 
The demons that had danced around me disappeared.
And the chill was melted from my soul to be replaced with warm comfort.
"Thank you," is all I can say.

She smiles and keeps me near.
Her words inspire me and give me strength. 
New gifts are brought for me to see,
I am breathless, but manage "Thank you."

She smiles again and continues to teach me.
Ever patiently,
so understanding. 
And after it all, I can't think of more to say than, "Thank you."

Thank you, Dear friend. 
For all that you have done and will do for me. 
Everything you've done has affected me deep inside
and never goes unnoticed. 

Thank you for taking me under your wing. 
I'll always treasure you and our friendship.
I pray we learn together for the years to come.

Thank you. 

I wish to see you once more, 
It is worth all I love,
Sent of heavens above I am,
I wish to forbid the denial.

I wish to see you nearer me,
In all astrology, I know you are here,
By the choreography of the stars,
We shall meet again.

I wish you would see more in me
Please, do not take me in as a stated fool,
My heart is a kaleidoscope,
By which the night arrives.

I wish I could fall from the heavens,
The heavens upon which I live,
Only by faith may I long for,
A life better than that of sight. 

I wish I could drift up with you,
To another world by which only we exist,
To exist in love, peace, tranquility,
To exist in a miracle romance, by which I long of.

I wish that we could live together,
For the love of me, I know the truth,
I know we cannot stay this way forever,
All I am allowed is to tell you that…

I wish.

A time for forgiveness, a time for pain. 
A Fathers, promise is broken.
New love, to be gained.

Do you remember, when I was young?.
Do you remember, all the good times all the fun?.
When the stars we'er brighter, and I was the only one?

From bows to blue jeans, and now boys to.
Oh how much we missed, we didn't do.

Do you remember, the day I cryed?.
The day the love, lost the trust died?.
The day you lied?.

A time for pain, a time for sorrow, but cheer up little one
thers always
tomorrow.
Tomorrow came and the next day passed, didn't help much the pain will
still last.

A time for forgiveness, a time to move on.
A time to watch the setting, of the new dawn.

But Do You Remember?.

Remembering, 
Far away
A distant place
Nothing but a dream
A life wasted in the clouds
But there was peace
As age grows upon 
A life in the clouds,
Begins to float away
Leaving the mind in despair
Wasn’t taught how to act in reality
Just left in the clouds
Alone
No one to turn to
Just called foolish,
A drifter
Remembering,
That distant place of peace
There was happiness,
Security
Left alone in reality
Not knowing which way to head
Wasted youth
Dreams that were crushed
If only taught how to fight reality
All paths lead back to that distant place
Only fit in,
Where the clouds sit 

15 year old Nick came home from school one day tired of it all, and so went 
his final message to the world...

Goodbye to those who’ve know me, 
Goodbye to those I’ve left, 
Time has to move on has come,
No more tears left to cry,
A broken heart may stand still,
Left to wither or start anew,
Even thought I’m not here,
Doesn’t mean I’m gone,
I feel the things you’ve felt,
I feel the things you feel,
I’ve left behide so much more that someone may wish for,
But none of it never meant anything,
None had meaning or a purpose,
In my absents,
Remember my words,
Never get caught up,
Never get cut out,
Never do what I’ve done,
Live your life,
Expand your dream,
Hope for something better,
Never end it like this,
Some things taken for granted,
Others never obtained,
Happiness taken for granted,
Happiness never obtained,
Remember the words that made me soar,
Remember the words that put me threw hell,
Dreams of love yet to unfold,
Dreams of love destined to be gone,
Dreams of love that slipped threw my fingers,
The time has come for me to leave,
Put the past behide me,
The final question remains,
What of the future?

With that last word, 
One slice was taken,
One last breath taken,
And he found his peace for one last time.

Last pain,
Last peace,
Goodbye...

HOPE 
Hope is but a child, 
Weak and whimpering.

Hope is often lost,
In a forest full of fear.

Hope often struggles,
To make it through.

Hope is but a child,
Given a chance,
Will grow.

you 

needing,
	you, always

wishing,
	you, here

dreaming,
	of, you

believing,
	in, you

needing,
wishing,
dreaming,
believing,
	in, you
conversation 
destiny, i’m a child
what are you
destiny, can i ask you a question
who am i 
destiny, is there a point to my life
child, i am everything
child, you are who you are
child, there is always a point
destiny, are you sure
child, yes i am sure


children and elders 
were all children
their older
so were children
their our elders

you and me
we’re children
earth and moon
they’re elders

don’t we need 
to obey
them

 The park bench was deserted as I sat down to read.
 Beneath the long, straggly branches of an old willow tree. 
               
 Disillusioned by life with good reason to frown.
 For the world was intent on dragging me down. 
               
 And if that weren't enough to ruin my day.
 A young boy out of breath approached me, all tired from play. 
                
 He stood right before me with his head tilted down.
 And said with great excitement, "Look what I found!" 
               
 In his hand was a flower, and what a pitiful sight.
 With its petals all worn - not enough rain, or too little light. 
                
 Wanting him to take his dead flower and go off to play,  
 I faked a small smile and then shifted away. 
                
 But instead of retreating he sat next to my side.
 And placed the flower to his nose, 
 And declared with overacted surprise, 
                
 "It sure smells pretty and it's beautiful, too.
 That's why I picked it; here, it's for you." 
               
 The weed before me was dying or dead.
 Not vibrant of colors: orange, yellow or red. 
                
 But I knew I must take it, or he might never leave.
 So I reached for the flower, and replied, "Just what I need." 
               
 But instead of him placing the flower in my hand.
 He held it midair without reason or plan. 
 
 It was then that I noticed for the very first time.
 That weed-toting boy could not see: he was blind. 
                
 I heard my voice quiver; tears shone in the sun.
 As I thanked him for picking the very best one. 
 
 "You're welcome," he smiled, and then ran off to play.       
 Unaware of the impact he'd had on my day. 
               
 I sat there and wondered how he managed to see,
 A self-pitying woman beneath an old willow tree. 
                
 How did he know of my self-indulged plight?
 Perhaps from his heart, he'd been blessed with true sight. 
                
 Through the eyes of a blind child, at last I could see.
 The problem was not with the world; the problem was me. 
                
 And for all of those times I myself had been blind,
 I vowed to see the beauty in life,
 And appreciate every second that's mine. 
                
 And then I held that wilted flower up to my nose,
 And breathed in the fragrance of a beautiful rose 
                
 And smiled as I watched that young boy,
 Another weed in his hand,
 About to change the life of an unsuspecting old man

On days like these 
I bend the trees
Ring 'round the mountains
And feed you cheese

There are days like these
Oh, once a year.
When snowflakes fall
Here, only here.

The leaves are long gone
From the trees
Blown away,
Spin 'round my knees

The ground is covered
In healthy white
Try to remember
With all your might.

On days like these.

I was a fool
To think that I loved you
And that maybe you
Could love me in return.
To think that maybe forever
really wasn't too long to care
And to believe that if it ended,
that I could just go on with my life
the way I always did.
But I can't.
And now there's a hole... an emptiness...
That can't be filled,
And would really rather stay a void.
And to think...
that once I thought 
That if it was over 
maybe you would cry,
the way I do... inside.
Once I thought that love was real...
A true emotion.
Now I know,
Love is just a word that you throw around
until you're tired of someone, 
so you throw them around.
And I was a fool to think
that maybe love was more than just a word.
And to think that maybe I could hear it
without being tossed away, 
so that my emotions
landed in a jumbled heap of confusion
But what if...
We lived in a world where love was possible?
Where I could be with you,
and every day brought a new hope,
and miracles really did happen.
But then, like I said, 
I was a fool.

The only friends I have, 
Are those who don't know me.
Or how much I lean on them. 
If it weren't for them,
I would have given up,
Already.

They don't know how I live,
Or what I need,
But they're here for me,
Even if they don't know,
How much I need them.

The only friends I have,
Are a world a way.
They don't know,
That I hold them,
As such an important person.

Most people get on,
And chat, do their own thing,
Not realizing the help their being.
I look at all the people I know,
In real life,
And see every now and then,
A glimps of those that I see,
On the 'net.

The only friends I have,
Don't know what I look like,
What makes me tick,
Or how much I need them.
But it's them,
That make it possible,
For me to keep going on.

They know what I like,
What my opinions are,
On this and that.
They don't judge me,
Like people do in real life.

The only friends I have,
Don't know me. 

worlds apart 
tied by a tether
stuck in the middle
on a rope
helpless and alone
apart from both worlds
seeing both
but unable to touch either
the rope's just a rope
but scienta est potentia
and to move the rope would destroy
the beauty of both worlds
content he must be
simply gazing at them
knowing he can never visit

~This place had shattered it all 
Slammed my senses against a wall
The misery that prepared me for the fall
Into an endless spiral of gloom,
It had predicted my impending doom
Tears slide down my bloodless cheeks
As I realize that to me no one speaks
I am alone with my pain,
And many to blame,
Few are kind,
Most drive me out of my mind.
Why do they ostracize me so?
I do not seem to know...
No one loves me, I sigh with regret
Not a single person that I have ever met
Living in the valley of my pain
Simply wishing that I had been slain
So I could stop the hurt deep inside
Which had compelled me to run and hide
From my embarrassment, my anger, sorrow I felt
I received sad tidings from the cards I was delt
Release me now, please free me from despair,
Send me away from the memories
That dark dank lair.
Never again will I dwell upon it
It is past me now,
But the feeling is seared into my soul...
I will never feel that pain again, I vow.~