Randolph's Random Picks

Week 14

These are the picks for the 2003 season. The bold represents the team selected to win. Games in red represent the Upset of the Week. At the bottom, The weekly and overall records for the season appear at the bottom. These picks are based purely on winners and losers with no consideration from the spread. The spread is only used to determine upsets for the Upset of the Week.

It is the second year of the NFL with the expanded four division conferences and it's been great. The addition of Houston to the league gave the powers that be initiative to make changes to outdated alignments. Some of the moves made plenty of sense, like moving Arizona out of the NFC East to the West. Probably the most surprising move was shifting Seattle out of the AFC to the NFC, but something had to be done to make room for the Texans.

Most importantly, rivalries were maintained. It would had been illegal to separate Dallas from Washington, even though, geographically, the Cowboys are not in the East. There's too much history to split the storied franchises. Not to say all of the rivalries were saved. It was just getting interesting between Green Bay and Tampa Bay, but one of them had to go. T.B. had less history between themselves and the other divisonal oponents. Same story for Jacksonville, Tennessee, Indianapolis, and other teams that lacked a nemesis.

There is one interesting circumstance due to the reduction of all divisions to four teams. With 16 games on schedule, opponents were equally divided between divisonal opponents, and four each against other AFC and NFC teams. The number of games outside of the division remains the same as now teams play whole divisions as opposed to four out of five like in the past. But the inter-division games are down to six games. That leaves two games left to play against anybody.

Naturally the NFL has a solution, but here's a suggestion. How about taking advantage of natural rivalries? Yeah new ones are developing (Carolina vs. Tampa Bay stands out), but cultivating new ones always increases fan interest. These rivalries will cross divisional and conference lines and could be played every year. Lastly, there should be something at stake. The pro game doesn't have to put objects to possess to the victors. This ain't college so there won't be oaken buckets, axes, barrells, or chicken-bone necklaces to play for. But adding something to play for on top of bragging rights is like a pinch more spice to an already flavorful concoction. Here's a few suggestions:

Oakland Raiders vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Thanks to their meeting in Super Bowl XXXVII, it should spark battles for years to come. Bragging rights come down to which team is the better team of pirates. Playing for pirates' booty is silly, but putting at stake the booties of the cheerleaders strikes at the heart of the male fans. Whichever team loses, their cheerleaders don uniforms of oversized sweats until the result of the next meeting between the teams.

Kansas City Chiefs vs. Washington Redskins

Native Americans might take special interest in this game. Years of protests have done nothing to make the league relinquish the name "Redskins". The name "Chiefs" is harmless, but why not put it on the line? The losing team changes it for 365 days to something non-offensive. For example, the Chiefs become the Chefs with a baker's hat as the logo. The Redskins can become just about anything, although with the team representing the nation's capital, there's options: Senators, Representatives, Donkeys, Elephants, and Dishonest Lying Cheats only Interested in Personal Gainsmen.

Tennessee Titans vs. New York Giants

The names represent larger than life figures. Defined, a titan is any person of or thing of great size or power and a giant is a person of superhuman size and strength. The loser is cut down to size in more ways than one. Apparell is supplied for the rest of the season by the winner and all gear is at least two sizes too small.

Cleveland Browns vs. San Diego Chargers

Cleveland was named after the exteremely popular head coach at the time, Paul Brown. It's a nice honor, but it lacks creativity. San Diego is named hopefully after the 1969 Dodge Charger, which is a wonderful muscle car best known as the General Lee in the television show "The Dukes of Hazzard." If not, then what, battery chargers? These teams could use good physical representations. The winner gets to choose a mascot for the team. The Chargers could be nice and buy Cleveland a dog...like a pink french poodle! Or the Browns could dress someone in a goofy lightning bolt costume. No limitations on what kind of mascot so it could be something truly out of the ordinary.

Just a few of the more creative ideas. easier potential feuds can spawn from teams against each other geographically (Battles for Ohio, California, or Florida) or using the animal kingdom for the best species (The Catfights: Jaguars, Panthers, Lions). Just one thing. The league could push for a For the Birds series between the Eagles, Ravens, and Falcons. But it wouldn't quite work because the Cardinals would have to be left out. It has to be competitive to be a rivalry and the Cards isn't on the level of any of those teams.

Nothing at stake for me, but I did enjoy some steak to go with my turkey for Thanksgiving. But I ate some crow too as the 0-2 turkey day was the difference in my 6-10 week. Food is off my mind so I should focus better.

Cincinnati at Baltimore - W

Over the past two weeks, B-more increased their scoring average by 6.4 points thanks to two consecutive 44-point explosions. Included in these outbursts are a special teams touchdown and a defensive touchdown. As long as the offense gets scoring assistance, which I expect this week, make it a three-game winning streak for the Ravens.

San Diego at Detroit - L

Why is S.D. announcing Doug Flutie will start at quarterback this week? Does anybody think Drew Brees will ever start another game with four games remaining in the season? Does the organization just want a headline or something? If that's the case, hire a writer from Weekly World News for the PR department. For real Chargers news, read the Monday newspaper that announces San Diego loses again, this time to the Lions.

Chicago at Green Bay - W

Applause goes to rookie running back Brock Forsey, a college walk-on drafted in the sixth round by the Bears runs for 134 yards in his second start of his career. His performance helps keeps Chi-town's slim playoff hopes alive for at least another week. Lambeau Field will be the Bears' coffin as the Packers lay those playoff hopes to rest.

Houston at Jacksonville - W

Jack Del Rio lied! The Jacksonville coach went back on his word to give David Garrard the start at quarterback and stood by rookie Byron Leftwich. The decision paid off with the first win since week nine. By staying with Leftwich, the Jaguars earn their first winning streak of the season.

Seattle at Minnesota - L

Officials from the Pro Football Hall of Fame will be on hand in case any offensive records are set in this game. Because Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck had a five touchdown passes day against the Baltimore defense, I'll side with the Seahawks outscoring the Vikings.

Tampa Bay at New Orleans - L

OK, let me check the schedule...December seventh...week 14...odd, even, odd, even, odd... Alright, according to the schedule, the Buccaneers should win this game. But based upon the problems T.B. has had with N'Orleans, I'm calling on the Saints to ruin the Bucs' timing.

Washington at New York Giants - L

Is it fair to still call Jim Fassell the head coach of the Giants? The rumor mill says that Tom Coughlin is the favorite to be the next coach of the Giants. Until a vote of confidence comes from the owner, Fassell is now the executive big office warmer. His job title won't matter much to the players as the Giants ward off the Redskins.

Dallas at Philadelphia - W

It was like a gallon of water was thrown onto the Cowboys players on Thanksgiving day, waking them from their dream season. Not that they sleep-walked their way to the 8-4 record. It's just that they reached that part of the dream where they are falling with no ground in sight. During the free-fall, a large green boulder attaches itself to the 'Boys. It's symbolism. The boulder is the Eagles, and by beating Dallas, Philly is adding weight to the Cowboys' fall.

Oakland at Pittsburgh - W

The Steelers must had felt good when they came in through the back door on Cincinnati. The problem is Pittsburgh didn't close the door behind them, allowing the comeback to do them in. The good news is Pittsburgh is at home and they have the key to lock all ways in and out. The Steelers seal this win.

Indianapolis at Tennessee - W

It's a meeting atop the AFC North, set up by both teams missing an opportunity to take top billing outright the previous week. Based upon the performances, The Colts seem better prepared to take the lead over the Titans.

Arizona at San Francisco - W

After three quarters during the last loss, San Fran quarterback Jeff Garcia was wishing he could hit a reset button and play a weaker opponent. He'll have a better start against 'Zona as the 49ers toy with the Cardinals.

New York Jets at Buffalo - L

All those sacks absorbed by Bills quarterback Drew Bledsoe apparently have caught up with him as he's experiencing dizziness that might keep him from the game. I hope for the best for Bledsoe. In his absence, there's no way the Bills can beat the Jets.

Kansas City at Denver - W

K.C. head coach Dick Vermeil wants to save running back Priest Holmes for the playoffs. That's understandable. The Chiefs are 11-1, head and shoulders above the rest of the AFC. They are a lock for the second season. So save the most important offensive player. The conservation movement likely will cost Kansas City a game or two. A loss to the Broncos will be one of them.

Miami at New England - L

Remember as a kid when you played with burning candles? First you'd quickly dip a finger into the wax and let it cool, peeling it off at looking at the ridges of your fingerprint in the wax. Then you put your hand over the flame and move it close until you couldn't stand the pain. That's the Patriots. They've been playing with fire for weeks. Now they'll get burned by a hot Dolphins team in the Upset of the Week.

Carolina at Atlanta - L

ESPN might as well turn this game into some kind of reality program for one night: "Michael Vick: Back in Action" He'll wear a mic for the night, his challenge will be to get the better of the Carolina defense. If he presents a rose to head coach Dan Reeves, then that proves Vick wants to make things work and wants to be coached by Reeves for a long time. How touching, but the Panthers don't play according to script and ruin the made for tv ending by disposing of the Falcons.

St. Louis at Cleveland - Monday Night - W

It is the first Monday night game hosted by the Browns in a long, long time. It seems so new to the players and the fans. The Dog Pound was assembled by noon Sunday. Waiting wears down the Cleveland fans and teams. The Browns play sluggishly as the Rams run circles around them.

Weekly Record: 9-7

Overall Record: 110-98