The Story of Matt Taking It From A Wes McCrotty Foulball

It was a clear, dark, summer night. The crowd was sparse, more than likely spending their time where it should not be spent when games are in progress. The Diamond Hogs were in the middle of a rather long winning streak, and were putting together a nice run for the SEC Western Division title. Prophets Matt and Ron were sitting in section 107 in row A, and were enjoying a nice Hog win in progress. Actually, at the time I do believe, the Hogs were down a couple runs, but the win was still in progress. Matt and Ron were sucking down sunflower seeds and having a nice conversation about something probably perverted, but nonetheless entertaining, as a lot of the fun in games at Baum consists of good conversation between good friends, or in this case, siblings. The almighty Hognoxious's presence was felt in the Mecca, as Prophets Matt and Ron were enjoying His every taunt. As the stadium was filled with the haunting sound of the theme music from the World Wrestling Federation's "Brood," the fans were becoming well aware as to who was batting. It was Wes McCrotty.

Matt and Ron continued their conversation, and glanced at the batter's box occasionally as Wes batted. All the sudden, "DING!" Ron temporarily looked behind him and to his left in section 108, then upon hearing the crowd let out a collective "OOH," Ron turned just in time to dodge a blazing line drive foul ball off of McCrotty's bat. Brother Matt was not as fortunate. You see, the reason Brother Ron dodged the ball in the first place was because he feared the speed and potential pain, for he did not have his glove with him at the ballpark that evening. As Ron dodged the baseball, Matt turned in attempt to do the same himself. His attempt--very unsuccessful. Upon the ball striking Brother Matt, he winced in pain as the ball bounced off of his male "parts." Brother Ron quickly acknowledged the fact that the ball was still live, and unknowing of Brother Matt's pain at the time, caught the ball off the bounce. As he saw Brother Matt writhing in agony first on the cement and then on the grass directly to the right of section 107, he paid homage to "the kid who took it" and announced to the crowd and his hurting Brother, "Since you took your medicine, YOU get the damn ball, YOU deserve it!" The crowd was happy with Brother Ron's friendly gesture as they let out a small cheer that was heard throughout the stadium.

Matt was still in pain. As he made a run for the bathroom to check on his manhood, his sister, Sister Stephanie, and his father, Father Pete, were chuckling for they were unaware of his pain at the time, and if they were, it was temporarily evil of them to laugh at his misfortune. That ball had to be traveling 100+ m.p.h. As Matt walked out of the bathroom, ball in hand, Ron was there to meet him and check on his well being. As Ron was speaking with Brother Matt, explaining to him exactly what happened, the First Aid & Fan Services representative walked up to check on Matt. Upon realizing that Brother Matt would be all right, she walked away. Then it happened--the Presence as we knew it walked up to the Brothers and acknowledged Matt's pain in a nice gesture--"Did you get hit pretty hard there, Son," which almost sounded like it had a small undertone of "Thanks for taking one for the team, kid." Soon after, Brother Matt had the presence of mind to have the ball signed by the assailant, otherwise known as Wes McCrotty. As Brother Matt hung over the dugout between innings, he got the attention of McCrotty's teammate, Scott Crossett. Matt asked Scott to give the ball to Wes so that he could sign it. Wes signed the ball, adding to it the phrase, "I'm sorry!" What a nice gesture--he felt bad enough about it to apologize. We are all sure that Matt gladly took it, otherwise the kids nearby on the grass could have gotten hurt. Ron made sure he bowed to Brother Matt for if he were to take a foul ball in the package, he would STILL be rolling on the ground at Baum.

FOLLOW-UP: To this day, Brother Matt fears the Brood theme music. Ron is sure to bring his glove to every game now, and has been known to make a nice grab over the wall in section 108.