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Thou shalt express thine feelings liberally, preferably in
a lewd manner. |
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Thou shalt possess sunflower seeds. |
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Thou shalt bow before Gate B of the almighty Mecca prior to,
and, if necessary, during any and all events. |
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Thou shalt consume Mucho Nachos, however thou shalt consume
only with jalapenos. |
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Thou shalt pay homage and bow to the almighty Hognoxious after
each and every taunt. |
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Thou shalt seek out the RBI Girls and rejoice in the gifts
they provide, and rejoice in their presence alone shall no gifts be obtained,
for the physical gifts Hognoxious gave them are grand. |
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Thou shalt call homeruns for the other team in attempt to
jinx them. |
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Thou shalt participate in every game and between
inning activity offered at Baum Stadium (i.e. dot race, Taco Bell Trivia
Question) and in doing so, thou shalt not win any of them other than the
dot race, which thou shouldst win in a cheap manner. |
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Thou shalt talk smack to the other team, and enjoy it....rejoice
in the fruits of your screaming labor with a large coke or soft-drink of
your choice afterward. |
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Thou shalt offer upon the players and coaches thine virgin
sisters and girlfriends. |
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Thou shalt take the field should a bad call cost the Hogs
the game or if Norm DeBriyn deems the situation fit to kick dirt on the
umpire. |
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Thou shalt run over little kids if necessary to obtain a foul
ball on the run in the concourse area. |
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Thou shalt cook out in the Hog Pen whenever possible, keeping
in thine mind to start early so that thine hot dogs, hamburgers, chicken,
and other holy foods will be done before the game starts. |
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Thou shalt, at all costs, become part of Baum Stadium folklore
by all means necessary, whether it be streaking the field, taking your medicine,
and/or robbing the opposing team of an out by stealing away a foul ball. |
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Thou shalt catch candy from the Candyman and enjoy it's succulent
taste as a sweet victory is watched from the stands. |
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Thou shalt fear a Wes McCrotty foul ball, keeping in thine
mind that kid who took it last year. |
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Thou shalt leave each game fulfilled spiritually and sleep
soundly with visions of Baum sweeping across your every thought and feeling. |