An Enriching Experience

Please excuse bad grammar and spelling. I'm lazy.

Even if the Hogs are losing, a game at Baum Stadium is an enriching experience.You can have a great time ignoring the game. You can arrive early to cook out in the Hogpen, there you will often find the great Hognoxious. During the game you can enjoy the taunting put on display by Hognoxious and other rabid fans. Or you can watch Tran the Superfan act like a nut. If you aren't in a laughing mood you can always look to the RBI GIRLS. The are the angels of Baumlam. They jump on the tops of those dugouts and dance their butts off. If you have a cute little kid you can probably get the t-shirts they throw. If you don't mind looking like a total @$$, you can also fight kids for the foul balls that land in the concourse area. Heck, jump on the dogpile fighting and clawing your way to the ball. If you have a friend, have him blindside the faster kids so that you will be sure to get to the ball first . After you have grabbed enough foulballs you can take a seat on the front row of the 1st base line. Grab some sunflower seeds and see who can spit the furthest, extra points for hitting opposing players running to and from the bullpen. Pay attention, a hard foulball could smack you. You could even try your hand at taunting, I'm not the best at this but you can get some cheap shots in on the bullpen catcher or relievers. I just like to stare them down. One must not forget the dot races either. These races are the highlights of the games that the Hogs lose. You can gamble on them, organize a pool in your section. Hint: The one who jumps to an early lead rarely wins. Along with the dot races there are also trivia questions and several drawings for various prizes. One of the better ones is the Dr. Pepper steal a base. A contestant is lead on the field to pick an envelope on 1st, 2nd, or 3rd base. Two of the envelopes are for a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper and the other is for a gifts certificate that increases in value each time a person fails to select it. As the person selects, just about everyone in the stadium says "A 12 Pack of Dr. Pepper" cause that is what the contestants usually wind up with. So even if the Hogs are having a horrible year, you, your family, and your friends can enjoy the gifts brought to the world by Baum Stadium and the environment that It contains.

-Matt Hanafin