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Ten Second Horror Movie Reviews

In the face of dwindling attention spans, here are the fastest possible reviews of horror films (by genre) intended as a 'spot-guide' to your own horror viewing.

INSTRUCTIONS - Mouse over Mr. Spooky for the review, and mouse over the dark bar of tiny skulls for the rating.




AntiChrist/Possession Movies Demonic Movies Ghost Movies Miscellaneous Monster Movies
Mutant Movies Slasher Movies Space Monster Movies Torture Movies
Vampire Movies Werewolf Movies Witch Movies Zombie Movies








Ghost Movies

SKIP - Dated and slow, laughable effects, adequate acting. Nice for the time, good for William Castle fans
1 Spooky		 13 Ghosts
1960		 RENT - An thought provoking ghost story that is a bit confusing at times. Nothing amazing stands out to make it distinquishable from any other ghost movie
3 Spookies		 1408
2007		 SKIP - Somewhat interesting, but slow and largely inaccurate account of the Bell Witch, missing some of the creepiest parts of the legend
1 Spooky		 An American Haunting
2005		 RENT - Suspenseful, interesting plotline, very original portrayal of the Boogeyman, but feels a bit too much like Darkness Falls
2 Spookies		 Boogeyman
2005
SKIP - Run of the mill generic story that doesn't differ all that much from the first movie. Still a nice Boogeyman, though
2 Spookies		 Boogeyman 2
2007		 RENT - Good for its time, but slow moving and confusing. Establishes the zombie shamble but the horror is never too specific
2 Spookies		 Carnival of Souls
1962		 SKIP - Flaccid attempt at title reuse. Spooky pervert clown, uninspired violence. Why, Wes, why?
1 Spooky		 Carnival of Souls
1998		 RENT - Visually stunning genre-blender, some weak claymation, but otherwise haunting and effective
2 Spookies		 A Chinese Ghost Story
1987
BUY - Melancholy swansong for Brandon Lee, beautiful visuals, great story, dark and brooding with a vengeful heart
4 Spookies		 The Crow
1994		 RENT - Sort of a retelling of the original with a frenchy character, a breathtaking climax, a sad story, and the most incredibly filthy city ever created
3 Spookies		 The Crow: City of Angels
1996		 SKIP - Very generic ghost story with no big payoff, predictable writing, but not flat-out terrible
2 Spookies		 Darkness Falls
2003		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 The Eye
2002
RENT - A tastefully done ghost story with a great plot and a memorable ending. More creepy than scary, though
3 Spookies		 The Eye
2008		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 The Fair Haired Child
2005		 RENT - Understated classic, all about mood and tension - good cast, a great introduction, nice build to climax
3 Spookies		 The Fog
1980		 SKIP - Puerile attempt to amp up the story without any art or subtlety - good cast, but a heavy handed, predictable approach
1 Spooky		 The Fog
2005
BUY - Very funny movie, a great plotline, and a Ghost Busters-esque comedy/horror from beginning to end
3 Spookies		 The Frighteners
1996		 BUY - Unforgettable movie with lots of funny moments, some cool ghosts, and an awesome theme-song that will undoubtedly go down in music history
4 Spookies		 Ghostbusters
1984		 BUY - A worthy follow-up to the first with more great ghosts and the return of that deliciously spooky theme song! Who you gonna call?
4 Spookies		 Ghostbusters 2
1989		 Yes, it's been announced. All original cast members are being recalled. Let's pray for the best.
Review Pending...		 Ghostbusters 3
????
RENT - Epic opening slaughter, otherwise a fair dark film with a few creepy moments in the bowels of an old ship
2 Spookies		 Ghost Ship
2002		 RENT - Somewhat classic, great old stars, fine story, more suspense than horror
2 Spookies		 Ghost Story
1974		 RENT - Good for big budget horror, good acting, interesting psychological horror story, a few shocks
3 Spookies		 Gothika
2003		 RENT - Extremely well done for an independent film, amazingly frightening ghosts, and a charming story line. Follows Hellraiser's 'Cheesy Ending Due to Low Budget' approach
3 Spookies		 Grave Dancers
2006
RENT - Nice ghost story with some very frightening imagery and a few unexpected shocks, but might feel worn out due to the recent wave of Japanese horror remakes
3 Spookies		 The Grudge
2004		 SKIP - Repetitive, unsubtle, and eventually becomes the same scene over and over without a plot - too much mascara on that kid
2 Spookies		 The Grudge 2
2006		 RENT - Good William Castle vehicle with Vincent Price, several moments that still creep, good lighting, tension, acting
2 Spookies		 House on Haunted Hill
1959		 RENT - Adequate remake, good casting, inventive ghosts, but a little forced and contrived at points, often menacing
2 Spookies		 House on Haunted Hill
1999
RENT - Great first half about a demonic manifestation of ancient evil and childhood fears, but the story loses steam towards its conclusion
2 Spookies		 It
1990		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Ju On
2003		 RENT - Ruch feudal Japanese fables; four ghost stories richly rendered in a very old world fashion
3 Spookies		 Kwaidan
1965		 RENT - Nostalgic Bradbury-esque ghost story in an old New England school, pretty visuals, interesting story
2 Spookies		 Lady In White
1988
SKIP - Slower, unimaginative, but good acting and some good effects. Fairly predictable
2 Spookies		 The Messengers
2007		 RENT - Very creepy ghost story with some great moments and very unsettling ghosts, even if it is a bit generic in its plot
3 Spookies		 The Others
2001		 RENT - Set the standard - Indian burial ground, tiny psychic, whirling portal, clown dolls, more effective than you remember
4 Spookies		 Poltergeist
1982		 SKIP - Weak follow-up, good spooky old man, but little else. At least Tangina came back
1 Spooky		 Poltergeist II
1986
RENT - Good attempt but predictable, Chicago-centric, filmed with on-screen effects only, but somewhat tedious and uninteresting
2 Spookies		 Poltergeist III
1988		 RENT - Good story, some weak acting, and a bit slow for the first half. It picks up speed and reaches a very suspenseful ending with a 'To be continued' feel
3 Spookies		 Pulse
2006		 No information as of yet on this sequal
Review Pending...		 Pulse 2
2008		 RENT - The first in a long line of Japanese ghost remakes, The Ring is definitely one of the creepiest
3 Spookies		 The Ring
2002
SKIP - Okay, the little girl in the original was scary. But come on, evil deer? Why even bother?
1 Spooky		 The Ring 2
2005		 RENT - Less cryptic than the western remake, story of psychic evil reaching from beyond the grave
3 Spookies		 Ringu
1998		 BUY - Masterful adaptation of Stephen King at his best, tons of dread, suspense, open terror. Fantastic acting, sets, and direction
5 Spookies		 The Shining
1980		 RENT - Inventive ghosts, good cast and sets, very memorable and violent scenes, adequate acting, some forced corny scenes
3 Spookies		 THIR13EN Ghosts
2001
RENT - Interesting, lurking story set in an abandoned asylum, investigates mental breakdown and asbestos removal
2 Spookies		 Session 9
2001		 SKIP - Although not one of the worst movies ever, the acting was terrible and the story seemed like they got bored and dropped it where it was
1 Spooky		 Shutter
2008		 RENT - Beautiful visuals and amazing creatures, this movie might be more than a bit confusing to those that aren't very familiar with the games
3 Spookies		 Silent Hill
2006		 Let's hope this one carries with it the great atmousphere of the first, along with a less complex plot
Review Pending...		 Silent Hill 2
2010
BUY - Flawless ghost story with lots of great moments and a clever trick ending that makes the movie even more fun to watch the second time
4 Spookies		 The Sixth Sense
1999		 RENT - Refreshing new approach at ghosts involving voodoo and mirrors. It's a great story with lots of interesting folk-lore and a very suspenseful ending
4 Spookies		 Skeleton Key
2005		 BUY - Flawless over the top adaptation of the original story on Tim Burton's part, very gory, funny and frightening at the same time, and unforgettable
4 Spookies		 Sleepy Hollow
1999		 RENT - Good (for TV) Stephen King story, feels more like a stretched short story, fairly well made
2 Spookies		 Sometimes They Come Back
1991
Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Sometimes They Come Back...Again
1996		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Sometimes They Come Back...For More
1999		 SKIP - Overall crappy 'Killer Video-Game' movie that proves to be a predictable mashup of 'Final Destination' and 'Pulse'
2 Spookies		 Stay Alive
2006		 RENT - Overshadowed by The Sixth Sense that same year, similar story of unquiet spirits communicating from beyond the grave in the basement
3 Spookies		 Stir of Echoes
1999


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