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Ten Second Horror Movie Reviews

In the face of dwindling attention spans, here are the fastest possible reviews of horror films (by genre) intended as a 'spot-guide' to your own horror viewing.

INSTRUCTIONS - Mouse over Mr. Spooky for the review, and mouse over the dark bar of tiny skulls for the rating.




AntiChrist/Possession Movies Demonic Movies Ghost Movies Miscellaneous Monster Movies
Mutant Movies Slasher Movies Space Monster Movies Torture Movies
Vampire Movies Werewolf Movies Witch Movies Zombie Movies





Demonic Movies

RENT - Slowly builds in tension and fear, accurately captures the feel of the novel, builds to a good climax
3 Spookies		 The Amityville Horror
1979		 RENT - Weakly revisionist, but has a few good moments among contrived scares. Strays too far from the actual account
2 Spookies		 The Amityville Horror
2005		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 The Beyond
1981		 RENT - Beautiful 17th century period piece about demonic forces in a small village. Cool story, feels authentic
3 Spookies		 Blood on Satan's Claw
1971
RENT - Fun demon romp with Billy Zane, good story and ensemble cast. Nice effects, tongue in cheek writing, almost comic-book charm
3 Spookies		 Demon Knight
1995		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Demon Lust
2001		 SKIP - Completely destroyed the unique feel of the game through cheesy first person camera shots, an overall lack of variety in the monsters, and The Rock
1 Spooky		 Doom
2005		 SKIP - Old school sleeper that shows Lovecraft inspiration, cheesy claymation, similar plot to Evil Dead
1 Spooky		 Equinox
1970
RENT - Hellraiser in space, slower paced, visually beautiful, great first half, but it weakens in the final reels
3 Spookies		 Event Horizon
1997		 BUY - Fantastic film with some great visuals and very creepy situations. Intentionally campy and amazing overall
5 Spookies		 The Evil Dead
1981		 BUY - A sequel/remake of the original with MUCH more blood. Lots of disgusting new frights and some very memorable scenes throughout.
4 Spookies		 Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn
1987		 BUY - Arguably the best of all three, very funny, scattered with memorable quotes, and absolutely required for any and all horror fans
5 Spookies		 Evil Dead 3: Army of Darkness
1992
SKIP - Nice independent film, very funny, filmed all in Chicago, and has nothing to do with the title whatsoever
2 Spookies		 Fatty Drives The Bus
1999		 RENT - Seems like a kid movie, but better and darker than it should be - heavy metal opens the gate!
3 Spookies		 The Gate
1987		 BUY - A classic movie with sadomasochistic overtones. Great writing, wonderful characters, and unforgettable moments
4 Spookies		 Hellraiser
1987		 BUY - A stunning sequel that actually stands up to the original with its extremely creative approach and very shocking scenes
4 Spookies		 Hellraiser 2: Hellbound
1988
RENT - Very generic slasher-type movie that turns Pinhead into a sarcastic jokester rather than a mysterious demon. Some weak writing, but nice for Hellraiser fanatics
2 Spookies		 Hellraiser 3:Hell on Earth
1992		 SKIP - Adds an interesting backstory to the series, but that won't make anyone forget that this is Hellraiser in space
3 Spookies		 Hellraiser: Bloodline
1996		 SKIP - Tries too hard to be clever. Sort of a mashup between Saw and Hellraiser. More of a mystery movie than a demon movie, and much slower paced than part 3
2 Spookies		 Hellraiser: Inferno
2000		 SKIP - Boring as all Hell and twice as confusing, this movie is a complete retelling of 'Inferno' with all of the interesting parts taken out
1 Spooky		 Hellraiser: Hellseeker
2002
Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Hellraiser: Deader
2005		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Hellraiser: Hellworld
2005		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Hellraiser: Prophecy
2006		 RENT - Gripping psychological descent symbolizing the madness produced by war, good visuals and acting, very sad story
3 Spookies		 Jacob's Ladder
1990
Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Japanese Hell
1999		 RENT - Thought provoking, well produced monochromatic occult stand-off with Nazis and 80s music
2 Spookies		 The Keep
1983		 RENT - Guilty pleasure movie with unruly teens providing fodder for possession, some good effects, one creepy lipstick effect
2 Spookies		 Night of the Demons
1988		 RENT - Adequate sequel, good effects, some good characters but really the same chum all over again
1 Spooky		 Night of the Demons 2
1994
Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Night of the Demons 3
1997		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Psychomania
1973		 BUY - Classic Stan Winston creature, Lance Hendricksen at his best, an atmospheric bayou tale of revenge and damnation
4 Spookies		 Pumpkinhead
1988		 RENT - Stupid teens revive the creature into a tard who goes out for vengance. Not too bad for a sequel
2 Spookies		 Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings
1994
Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Pumpkinhead 3: Ashes to Ashes
2006		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Pumpkinhead 4: Blood Feud
2007		 RENT - Made well for TV, captures much of the spirit of the book - good cast, good pacing, and an excellent story
3 Spookies		 The Stand
1994		 SKIP - Made for TV, probing drama of a supernatural interloper and an impossible choice for a small town
2 Spookies		 Storm of the Century
1999
RENT - Clive Barker's first film, great low budget monster in a fun, bloodsplattered Celtic demon driven plot
2 Spookies		 Rawhead Rex
1986		 RENT - Nice idea with a well designed Djinn, some good scenes and amusing ironic outcome to idiots making wishes
2 Spookies		 Wishmaster
1997		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies
1999		 Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Wishmaster 3: Beyond The Gates of Hell
2001
Taint reviewed it yet.
Review Pending...		 Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled
2002


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