Springtime is upon us, and once again a young man's fancy, especially here at D.A.N.G.E.R., turns to evil. That is right; what else makes a young man's heart go pitter-pat when he looks into the eyes of a young woman, and his heart fills with evil, than springtime? Why do the birds sing, other than evil reasons? I could not tell you. Do you know why? Because there is no other answer than that birds love evil in the springtime as much as you or I.

In the spring, there is a rebirth. Flowers begin to bloom. Birds migrate back from their evil winter hideouts. The grass again grows green. The air is warm and full of evil. Oh, what a wonderful time of year. It reminds me of a poem. I believe it was Longfellow who wrote:

Forlorn am I, for it is Springtime and evil is not in my heart.
I hear the birds sing, lo, though not for me, or my evil-less ways.
My evilness is naught, 'tis in vain. It haunts my days.
For it is spring and I am not evil, and it tears me apart.

Who can argue with such a stirring... beautiful... I'm sorry. I can't go on. I promised myself I wouldn't cry...