A love deep.
A total longing.
Needing what I could not have.
I can’t touch him
I can’t make love to him.
Yet the need is real.
A hole in me needs filling,
And nothing else will fill that need.

I admire him.
I love him.
I see God’s beauty in him.
Yet I know he is as human as I.

Then it happens,
I clothe myself with his being.
In loving him he becomes a part of me.
His essence fills the empty, yearning place.
The Christ in him becomes the Christ in me.
I put on Christ.

Passion
wonderful
scary
awakened by him
passion burning
longing
aching
yearning.

Passion
wonderful
no longer scary
awakened by him
passion not for him
    but for life
living
loving
feeling
being.

Longing.
Longing to be held,
To be loved.

Wanting,
Desiring,
Needing... what?

A man?
A man's love?
A man's arms holding me tight, secure,
    keeping the world out?

No.

More than a human love.
Beyond the man.

Needing... You.
Your motherly arms to hold me secure.
Your beauty
    like that of a sunrise
        a flowing stream
        a lover.
You.

Needing the one always with me.
Inside me.
A part of me.
In those I love.

Needing.
Finding.
Falling in love.

Aching, needing, wanting
Seeing, but not touching
Yearning
Seeing you in him
Wanting him
Hurting, aching, needing

Finding
You
In Me
Having
No more aching
Holding, touching, feeling, being
Part of me, inside me, with me
In love, in you.

His image calls out to me,
Draws me.
His being reaches to a part of me
    locked deep inside.
I try to hide.
But I am called to love.

Loving him
Means surrendering
That part of me
I lock away.

Loving God also means
Surrendering
That same part of me
I lock away.

Which is why I'm drawn to him.
I see God in his beauty,
The Spirit in his life.
In his power over me
I understand
The power of Jesus' person.

Yet, something more.
I see in him myself.
He is like me in may ways.
And so in him the Spirit calls
    to that part of me locked away
Saying Come out
    Live.

I take a small step.
And another.
I learn to love myself,
To live,
To touch the Spirit in me.
Experiencing that God is in me also
And in each of us.

My passion is born in the thought of him.
It burns inside me.
I want to envelop myself
in the goodness and beauty
I see in him.
But not in him
-- in you.
In the one who is
that beauty
and goodness
I see.

To Touch You, Lord

I see you,
Jesus.

In the child.
In the mother.
In the old man.

I saw you in him
And a new world awakened.
Now I see you in each of us.

God created the sky
    She saw that it was good.
God created the stars
    She saw that it was good.
God created the earth
    She saw that it was good.
God created the ocean
    She saw that it was good.
God created the trees
     She saw that it was good.
God created man and woman
     She saw that it was good.

I see the sky
    I see that it is good.
I see the stars
    I see that they are good.
I walk the earth
    I see that it is good.
I gaze across the ocean
    I see that it is good.
I walk amidst the trees
    I see that they are good.
I see a man
    I see that he is good.

I want to wrap myself in the goodness.