I have been Darren and Daniels Australian publicist since they released I WANT YOU in that country back in April 1996. It is only recently (ie. last week) that I have started working for them as their personal assistant. This is an exciting prospect for me because it means I get to travel all over the world with them, live in New York with Darren in his new apartment and basically just pretend I'm fabulous!!! -- Diary, Week Ending 27th June, 1999

...picture this, I have just come from your typical suburban life, living in your typical suburban home on a typical suburban street. The sight that greets me as the electric gates swing open is one of luxury overload! Shocking as this may seem, I have found myself slipping quite easily into this lifestyle. God knows what I did before without a team of people to cater to my every little whim and desire. -- Diary, Week Ending 27th June, 1999

Have you ever been to a photo shoot?? It really is 95% sitting around and 5% shooting. We arrived at the studio at 9.00am and Darren and Daniel did not have their first shot taken until 1.00pm. The whole promotion, photo shoot, video shoot circus is definitely the part of their jobs that the guys dislike the most. It is not that they don't want to get their music out there and heard, it is because it takes them away from the creative process - which is the songwriting , recording and performing live. I think if you spoke to any successful artist, they would say the same thing. -- Diary, Week Ending 27th June, 1999

For my first few days here (at Wallywood) I wondered when and if they ever did any work!!! I have been assured that they worked "incredibly hard" for the first couple of months and now that the album is almost finished, they.. and it appears.. ALL, the studio staff.. are spending a lot of time having fun. After having a very late lunch, they usually start work. It is not unusual to finish the day at 3.00am... in fact, it's almost the norm. -- Diary, 9th July ,1999

Darren and I stayed behind at Wallyworld and we finally got the chance to have a night out in San Francisco. We had a fantastic night just club hopping and dancing.... Darren blended into the crowd really well, and would not allow me to get us to the front of a queue when we were standing in it for HOURS waiting to get into a club. He was just enjoying making friends and being completely low key. I, on the other hand, was just dying to get inside and I found the whole ordeal INCREDIBLY frustrating! I guess it is really lucky that I'm not the celebrity around here... I'd be extremely painful to be around! -- Diary, 9th July, 1999

I have come to the shock realisation that I'm more of a 'big picture' type girl, and not really a 'p.a.' type .. in fact.. I'm pretty crap at the p.a thing. Sure I have plans for Savage Garden to take over the world.. but do you think I can remember to take lip balm for Darren when we have photoshoots? Do you think that I have the telephathic skills to know that when it is a boiling hot day, and they are stuck outside taking photos that perhaps they might want a bottle of water?? The answer to these questions is a resounding NO! -- Diary, 21st July, 1999

I have been gently told by my young masters that the main reason I am on board in such a crucial position is because we are friends and it really has little to do with my skills, and in fact, I have also been told that I lack every single quality any good p.a. should possess (i.e. organising, being an all round pro, keeping my feelings to myself whenever I'm hot or hungry etc. etc.)..in fact, when Darren and Daniel did a photo shoot for Vogue recently, they werebeing so cool and I turned into the tantrum throwing pop star! -- Diary, 21st July, 1999

The reason I am raving is because an incident occurred last week that will indirectly affect all of you. We went out on Saturday night and when we arrived home, I put the kettle on to make some tea. Darren decided that it was far too late to drink tea and promptly turned it off. Now, it is debatable whether or not the stove was turned off properly.. what is NOT debatable, however, was the fact that I had left the backpack with both digital cameras in it.. next to the stove. You can guess what happened next. Yes, that's right, my back was turned for a minute and the next thing I knew the backpack was up in flames. I managed to put the fire out (with no damage to the house and just a few blisters to my hands).. but the casualty was the digital cameras! I tried to hide the evidence, but unfortunately when Darren and Daniel awoke the next morning, I had to sheepishly tell them (pleading silently for them not to sack me) what had happened. They took it fairly well, under the circumstances, although Daniel made a point of asking me to hide the cameras from him because it made him quite sad to look at them in their melted state. -- Diary, 21st July, 1999

There were also some photos taken outside the front door of the guest house, using a black velvet backdrop. Actually, things weren't running too smoothly in the Savage Garden camp that day. We all found it incredibly funny when Darren and Daniel leaned up against the backdrop, looking incredibly cool... but only for an instant, because the next minute the doors swung open and they both fell backwards into the house (I think one of my responsibilities may have been to ensure that the doors were closed securely.. I can't be too sure though..) Anyway, I'm only sorry we didn't capture it on film for you. -- Diary, 21st July, 1999

So, here I am, sitting on a plane bound for New York City.. bored out of my brain. I've read every magazine there is to read and they have just started screening DEEP END OF THE OCEAN.. the worst film I have ever seen (am I allowed to say that????). Darren is sitting beside me, completely ignoring me, and utterly immersed in the cd he is listening to on his monstrous earphones. They're as large as the hairstyles the leading ladies of Star Wars seemed to favor. I am told that they produce a much better sound than the pre 1970 earplugs I still have on my walkman. One can only assume that pop stars know a lot more about these things than we do. -- Diary, 28th July, 1999

Anyway, we've been flying for about three hours now and I have tried countless ways to convince Darren that I am more interesting than any cd he could POSSIBLY be listening to! I have given him every face imaginable (eg. the, you are hurting my feelings because you are ignoring me face; the, I have so much to talk to you about and you are ignoring me face; the, turn the frickin cd player off I'm bored face, and my particular favourite.. the, if you stop playing music and talk to me we can go through your credit card statements face). All to no avail!! FINALLY, I realized that he was listening to AFFIRMATION!!! He received a copy of it just before we left Wallyworld studios for the airport. Our favorite engineer Kent had stayed up all night to ensure that he had a listening copy of the album for the flight. Today is the first time that he has heard all of the songs, fully mixed, and in the sequence they will appear on the album. He is smiling, which I'm deducing is a good sign. -- Diary, 28th July, 1999

You will notice, that even though we had no digital cameras of our own to use due to the fire (which from here on in shall be referred to as the 'I've Melted Two Expensive Digital Cameras And I Can't Believe I Still Have A Job Tragedy'), we managed to beg, borrow and steal the use of one to bring you this weeks photos. -- Diary, 28th July, 1999

I know what you are REALLY wondering at this point..... DON'T WORRY ABOUT DARREN AND DANIELS ROLES!!! The question on our lips is.... 'Will Leonie's role as the PA from hell be any different?". Calm down ..... it will (thankfully) remain unchanged. And, in fact, if Daniel ever so desires...I'm more than happy to take on his responsibilities as media superstar! -- Diary, 28th July, 1999

TRUST ME.. it is only when I have him (Darren) in a confined space, such as an airplane, that I can make him sit still for long enough to do anything I ask (plus he knows that when I have finished this I will be back onto the credit card statements.. so he is happy to put THAT off for as long as possible). -- Diary, 28th July, 1999

I can feel that the plane is on the descent into New York and I don't want my laptop to interfere with the electronics... we don't want Darren to end up in Alaska... (personally, I wouldn't mind too much.. but I'm not sure how fabulous you can be in Alaska!). -- Diary, 28th July, 1999

Plus, and I'm sorry to make you jealous... Darren has just handed me the headphones so that I can listen to the last song he recorded. Hmmmm.... it really does sound better through these Princess Amidala headphones..... -- Diary, 28th July, 1999

What is going on with New York this week?? It is HOT!!! It is darn HOT!!!! HOT AND BOTHERED!!!! Apparently we are smack bang in the middle of the hottest July in the lifetime of New York. Can you believe how lucky we feel to be a part of this historical event??? Rest assured, I'm counting my blessings daily. -- Diary, 9th August, 1999

As walking the streets in a string bikini is not a viable option (for obvious reasons), I've found that I'm spending my days flopping from one air conditioned room to another, seeking out a cool corner. What I LOVE THE MOST about stinking hot weather is walking around the streets with Darren. He really is so much fun to be with in these sort of conditions! (hint... he HATES heat and humidity) By the end of the day he has usually shared all seven of his personalities with me. (Trust me.. you DON'T want to meet 'Elton'!). -- Diary, 9th August, 1999

Our social life has picked up since we've been in New York.... (of course my social life all depends on whether or not I can get Darren to come to the latest greatest party with me.. because.. let's face it... my invite is obsolete if I can't piggy back on his!!). -- Diary, 9th August, 1999

the REAL event that we missed out on was the launch of TALK magazine at the Statue of Liberty. Now, usually, I would be completely up for just such an affair, but I generally have to beg and plead Darren to take me to these things ("can we go can we go can we please go to the really exclusive party.???" ... you get the picture, I generally carry on like this until he relents and lets me go). You may or may not realise this, but both Darren and Daniel would prefer to be doing anything else in the world than hanging out at celebrity filled parties. I am trying so DESPERATELY hard to change this!!! Anyway.... the night of the TALK launch we both decided we were just a little tired and thought we'd just stay in and eat room service. So, I'm sitting there watching television.. when suddenly this party flashed onto the screen. Yep.. you can imagine!! It looked like it was the social event of the year... everyone was there.. fireworks were happening.. people were partying and having fun.. and what were we doing??? Lying around in bathrobes eating room service!! I, of course picked up the phone and rang Darren straight away and told him to turn on the television to see what we were missing out on!!! He couldn't understand the fuss I was making!!! I am really going to have to start giving that boy some SERIOUS party training! Anyway.. I'm over it now. -- Diary, 9th August, 1999

Meanwhile, Darren is being such an interview trooper. I don't think I could do it! Imagine sitting in a room for ten hours a day, talking about the same thing over and over again! I think I'd go crazy, but he is doing a beautiful job. He's just so excited to be talking about the record. -- Diary, 9th August, 1999

You'll notice the new pics we have on the site. This is due to the fabulous new digital camera that Sony gave me this week. I have deposited it into a fireproof bag.. so it should remain safe and secure and fire free! -- Diary, 9th August,1999

Actually, I've decided to put some photos up for you so that you can see what it is like.. you know... see the beds Darren and Daniel slept in, the lounge they sat on, the bathroom they showered in... you know, all of the stuff that you wouldn't usually get the opportunity to see (but that I KNOW you are going to love!). -- Diary, 26th August, 1999

Now.. let me tell you about our first earthquake experience. Being Australians, we have NEVER been in an earth moving situation. I was sitting in the backyard at Walters when suddenly the pool and the surrounding garden MOVED 6 FEET TO MY LEFT!! .. then it moved BACK AGAIN!!! It was so freaky! As I ran inside, Darren ran out looking for me. But.. rather than staying outside, he CONVINCED me that we HAD to get back inside for our own safety. I mean.. what would I know.. I've only been in America for a little while.. I looked at him as 'Mr; Just Follow Me Little Lady I'm An Earthquake Expert And I Know Exactly What To Do In This Sort Of Situation.' So we ran into the deepest corner of the house and stood under the door jamb of the bathroom. Because.. let's face it.. if you stand outside, the earth opens up and swallows you! (or at least that is what we have been told by all of the disaster movies). It didn't occur to us that it isn't really safe being indoors... we just thought that that tiny little door jamb would be the only thing left standing should the big quake hit (that's right.. just the door.. and the two of us.. completely unscathed). You'll be happy to know that even though I was completely terror stricken, I still had the presence of mind to get this photo of Darren's reaction to the quake. -- Diary, 26th August, 1999

All of the native Californians thought our dramatic reaction to the quake was hilarious.. it was merely a blip in their day.. but to us, it was HUGE!! By the time Darren had finished telling the story, the pool had moved 'at least 6 METRES'... -- Diary, 26th August, 1999

Oh no.. everyone in the room has started talking about finances. I'm breaking out into a cold sweat. Any mention of money and how to manage it, causes the oxygen to go running screaming from my brain and generally I end up in a dead faint, through boredom. -- Diary, 15th April, 2000

I have to tell you.. the Japanese people are SO POLITE! I know that I've said this time and again, but they really are. There is no such thing as pushing and shoving and whenever Darren and Daniel meet any of their fans, or the media, or even people that work in the hotels, they are bowled over by their kindness and their willing to please. It's such a treat. The hardest part of Japan is the language barrier. It's not just that very few people speak English, it's also that they have a written language that is completely indecipherable to we Westerners. We have come to the realisation that most restaurants have a large selection of laminated food to choose from, which is hardly appetising to look at, but very necessary when it comes time to order dinner. -- Diary, 15th April, 2000

I'm trying desperately hard to write this, but Nina, our friend who also happens to be the wardrobe stylist on the tour, has been following me around talking to me constantly. Yap yap yap, yappity yap.... I mean, I love her dearly, but when I asked her 'if anything interesting was happening lately'.. I didn't realise just HOW MANY interesting things had happened to her!! Wow, what a life she's got. Can't wait to finish writing to you guys so I can give her my full attention. At the moment though I'd kinda like it if she just shut up. -- Diary, 15th April, 2000

I have a great boss, I love him, he never ever gets mad at me for my many inefficiencies, sometimes I give him the wrong information and that can often lead to him getting a little stressed before showtime when he warms his voice up half an hour too early, but this never stops him from giving me gifts. Today we went shopping because I smashed my watch on the tiles at the swimming pool. Actually, you didn't really need to know that the watch was actually smashed at the swimming pool, I only told you that because I was hoping you'd pick up on the fact that I was at the swimming pool. Because, only really fit people go to the swimming pool. I know, I'm not fit yet... I know.. but I'm imagining I am. I'm so sick of seeing Darren and the rest of the band constantly working out that I've been forced to join them. Before you know it, I'll be entering triathlon's (although for the moment, I'm trying to get through 20 laps!). Anyay, I digress... the smashed watch was actually a birthday gift Darren bought me four years ago. As it has now been put to rest, he took me out shopping in Nagoya to purchase a new watch. I'm very impressed with the result. It is silver and purple.. my two favourite colours. He's so sweet. -- Diary, 15th July, 2000

After our shopping trip we went to lunch in a restaurant that did not have laminated food out the front, so we were lost, but thought.. hey.. let's walk on the wildside, let's go in and eat in here. As we looked like your typical tourists, the chef came scurrying out of the kitchen to tell us that we were in fact in a TRADITIONAL Japanese restaurant. I think he was trying to dissuade us from eating there. I have no idea why.. we didn't think we were the usual tourists, because, as you all know, we are not... we are world travellers. Darren convinced the chef that we were not troublemakers and that we were not here to change his menu in any way. Of course, at the end of the day, as the chef knew and we didn't.. we did need to change every dish on the menu to suit our pathetic Western tastebuds. I feel so ashamed... but we just couldn't be traditionally Japanese. I'm sorry... I guess if the Japanese were in Australia they'd have a hard time appreciating our national dish of meat pies and mushy peas. -- Diary, 15th July, 2000