Quotes

Quote of the week

09-01-03

Eddie: "Did you, uh, lose your way?"
Buffy: "No, no. I'm just heading to fisher hall.
It's right, I know it's on the Earth Planet, I'm sure
that...." (confessing) "Recently voted most pathetic,
uh-huh."
Eddie: "Well, I'm lost and I have a map so..."
Buffy: "Oh! I come in second."
"The Freshman"

Back to the Episode Guides.

7-26-01

"I'm the Slayer. Slay-er. Chosen One? She who
hangs out a lot in cemeteries? Ask around. Look it up:
'Slayer comma The.'"
~~Buffy: "Doomed"

7-30-01

"The vampires kill you. We watch. We rejoice."
~~Xander: "Anne"

8-6-01

"Unbelievable..." (mocking Joyce) "do you like my mask?
Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!" (To himself) "Americans!"
~~~Giles: "Dead Man's Party"

8-13-01

Xander: "Hello! Excuse me, but have you ever heard of
knocking?"
Jonathan: "We're supposed to get some books on Stalin.
For a report."
Xander: "Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?"
Giles: "This is the school library. Xander."
Xander: "Since when?"
"Passion"

8-20-01

"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be
in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll
shag and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver,
but you'll never be friends."
~~Spike: "Lover's Walk"

8-27-01

Angel: "Why are you riding me?"
Buffy: "Because I don't trust you. You're a vampire.
Or is that an offensive term? Should I say 'Undead American.'"
Angel: "You have to trust someone. You can't do this alone."
Buffy: "I trust me."
Angel: "You're not as strong as you think."
Buffy: "You think you could take me."
Angel: "What?"
Buffy: "Come on, you must have wondered...a vampire, the Slayer,
I know you've thought about it. If it came down to a fight...
could you take me? Why don't we find out?"
Angel: "I'm not gonna fight you."
Buffy: "No? Big strong vampire like yourself?"
Angel: "Buffy..."
Buffy: "Come on. Kick my ass."
"When She Was Bad"

9-3-01

Kendra: "We can return to your Watcher for orders."
Buffy: "I don't take orders. I do things my way."
Kendra: "No wonder you died."
"What's My Line, Part 2

9-10-01

Wesley: "Are you perhaps not used to being given orders?"
Buffy: "Whenever Giles sends me on a mission, he always says
please. And afterwards, he gives me a cookie."
Wesley: "I don't feel like we're getting off on quite the
right foot-Ah! This is perhaps Faith?"
Faith: "New Watcher?"
Buffy/Giles: "New Watcher."
Faith: "Screw that." (Turns and walks out)
Buffy: Now, why didn't I say that?"
"Bad Girls"

9-17-01

Buffy: (To Willow) "I need you a lot. You're
great with the computer. Usually.
Giles: "Right you are. And I'm great with the pacing
and the saying of 'hmmmm' and 'ahhhh' and 'Good Lord.'"
"The Yoko Factor"

9-24-01

"One of these days you have to get a grown-up car."
~~Buffy: "Inca Mummy Girl"

10-1-01

"I wear the cheese. It does not wear me."
~~~The Cheeseman: "Restless"

10-8-01

Angel: "What?"
Xander: "You were checking out my neck! I saw that."
Angel: "No, I wasn't."
Xander: "Just keep your distance pal."
Angel: "I wasn't looking at your neck."
Xander: "I told you to eat before we left."
"Prophecy Girl"

10-15-01

"We grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledge
hammer, but gosh, we did that last night."
~~Xander: "When She Was Bad"

10-22-01

"Someone wasn't worthy."
~~Spike: Becoming, Part 1

10-29-01

"It's alive!"
~~~Giles: "Fear, Itself"

11-05-01

Giles: (trying not to cry) "She was... truly
the finest of all of us.
Xander: "Way better than me."
Giles: (sadly nodding) "Much, much better."
~~~Grieving over Willow, who they think is dead,
but isn't: "Doppelgangland"

11-12-01

"I swear, one of these days, you're going to wake up in a coma."
~~Cordelia: "Gingerbread"

11-19-01

"Things used to be pretty simple. A hundred years, just
hanging out, feeling guilty. I really honed my brooding skills.
Then she comes along."
Angel-Re: Buffy: "Lie to Me"

11-26-01

"He's usually Investigate Things from Every Boring Angle
guy. Now he's I Cling to My One Lame Idea guy. What gives?"
~~Xander: I Only Have Eyes for You?"

12-10-01

Angel: "You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you
think I could stand it? We just have to figure out a way--"
Buffy: "I already did. I quit, remember. Pay attention."
"Prophecy Girl"

12-17-01

"She's not playing with a full deck. She has almost no
deck. She has a three."
~~Buffy: "Faith, Hope, and Trick

12-24-01

Buffy: Tree. Nog. Roast beast. Just me and Mom and hopefully an excess
of gifts. What are you doing for Christmas?
Willow: Being Jewish. Remember, people? Not everybody worships Santa.
"Amends"

12-31-01

Willow: "The monkey's French?"
Oz: "All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?"
"What's My Line, Part Two"

1-7-02

Xander: "You don't know how to kill this thing."
Buffy: "I thought I might try violence."
Xander: "Solid call."
"Killed By Death"

1-14-02

Giles: "Let's not jump to any conclusions."
Buffy: "I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there
conclusions were."
"Phases"

1-21-02

Joyce: "Are you going out tonight, honey?"
Buffy: "Yeah, Mom, I'm going to a club."
Joyce: "Will there be boys there?"
Buffy: "No, Mom, it's a nun club."
"Welcome to the Hellmouth

1-28-02

Angel: "I guess I need help. And you're the first person
I thought of."
Willow: "Help? You mean like on homework? No 'cause you're old
and you already know stuff."
"Lie to Me"

2-04-02

"I defined something? Accurately? Check me out."
(Slams book closed)
"Guess I'm done with the book learning!"
~~Xander: "I Only Have Eyes For You"

2-11-02

Giles: "Does this look familiar to either of you?
Buffy: "Yeah, sure, it looks like a book."
Xander: "I knew that one."
"I Robot, You Jane"

2-18-02

Buffy: "Homework."
Willow: "It's my way of saying, 'Get well soon'."
Buffy: "You know, chocolate says that even better."
Willow: "I did all your assignments. All you have to do
is sign your name."
Buffy: "Chocolate means nothing to me."
"Killed by Death"

2-25-02

Buffy: "Vampires are creeps."
Giles: "Yes, that's why one slays them."
"Ted"

3-4-02

"Monsters don't usually send messages. It's pretty much
Crush! Kill! Destroy!"
~~Buffy: "Out of Mind, Out of Sight"

3-11-02

Snyder: "There are some things I can just smell.
It's like a sixth sense."
Giles: "Actually, that would be one of the five."
"When She Was Bad"

3-18-02

"Oh, I know this one! 'Slaying entails certain
sacrifices, blah, blah, blah-bity, blah, I'm so stuffy,
give me a scone.'"
~~Buffy: "Inca Mummy Girl"

3-25-02

Angel: "This isn't some fairy tale: When I kiss you,
you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after."
Buffy: "When you kiss me, I want to die."
"Reptile Boy"

4-01-02

Buffy: "Do they know about 'fun' in England?"
Giles: "Yes, but it's considered very poor taste to have any."
"Lie to Me"

4-08-02

"It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell my friends. They
don't have a rock this big."
~~Spike: "Becoming, Part One"

4-21-02

Buffy: "If this Harvest thing is such a big suckfest,
why don't you stop them?
Angel: "Because I'm afriad." (Pauses) "They'll be expecting you."
Buffy: "I've got a friend down there-or a potential friend."
(Joking) "Do you know what it's like to have a friend?"
No answer.
Buffy: "That wasn't supposed to be a stumper."
"The Harvest"

4-28-02

Buffy: "Well, look who's here."
Angel: "Hi."
Buffy: "I'd say it's nice to see you but we both know that's
a big fib."
Angel: "I won't stay long."
Buffy: "No, you'll just give me a cryptic warning about
some exciting new catastrophe and disappear into the night, right?"
Angel: "You're cold."
Buffy: "You can take it."
Angel: "I mean you look cold."
(Angel takes off is leather jacket and gives it to Buffy.)
"Teacher's Pet"

5-5-02

Angel: "You're here on a date?"
Buffy: "Yeah, why is that such a shock to every one?"
"Never Kill a Boy on the First Date"

5-12-02

"When he is around, I think it's like the lights dim
everywhere else. You know how that happens with some guys?"
~~Buffy-Re: Angel: "Angel"

5-19-02

"A vampire in love with the Slayer. It's rather poetic,
in a maudlin sort of way."
~~Giles: "Out of Mind, Out of Sight"

5-26-02

Angel: "What's happening, Buffy?"
Buffy: "Shhh...It doesn't matter."
(She pulls away to look at him
and then kisses him passionately.)
Buffy: "I love you."
Angel: "I love you."
Buffy: "Close your eyes."
"Becoming, Part Two"

6-02-02

"The council isn't welcome here. I got no time
for orders. I need someone to scream like a woman,
I'll give you a call."
~~Buffy: "Graduation Day, Part Two"

6-09-02

Buffy: "Yeah, I just got in a few hours ago.
Went to see Mom first."
Giles: "Of course. And how did you find her?"
Buffy: "I pretty much remembered the address."
"Dead Man's Party"

6-16-02

"Fire bad. Tree pretty."
~~Buffy: "Graduation Day, Part Two"

9-08-02

Angel: "Oh. And...Riley."
Buffy: "Yeah."
Angel: (nods)"I don't like him."
"The Yoko Factor"

9-15-02

Angel: "You still my girl?"
Buffy: "Always."
"Enemies"

9-22-02

Willow: "You came to visit me) "Are the books for me?"
Oz: "Actually, they're kind of for me."
Willow: "I don't get it."
Oz: "Well, it's kind of a funny story. You remember
when I didn't graduate."
Willow: " Well, I know you had a lot of incompletes,
but that's why you had summer school."
Oz: "Yeah. Remember when I didn't go."
"Anne"

9-29-02

Buffy: "How's your head?"
Riley: "Fine. It just stung for a bit
and I lost most of my basic motor functions.
No biggie."
"The Freshman"

10-13-02

Giles: "Don't taunt the fear demon."
Xander: "Why? Can it hurt me?"
Giles: "No, it's just tacky."
"Fear, Itself"

10-20-02

Anya: "I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old!
Just give me a friggin' BEER!"
Waiter: "I.D."
Anya: "Give me a Coke."
"Doppelgangland"

10-27-02

"It's like fun, only boring."
~~~Faith: "Doppelgangland"