I have no idea what happened to my cute little weather pics, but it looks like this outside.....

September 21, 2000

All most all the leaves are gone (pout)

I threw away the scale this week. It was sort of an empowering moment. (Besides some rugrat filled it with catfood, don't ask me how, clever monsters =) But it made me happy. It admittedly was probably fool hearty. Who knows, most likely I'll probably run out and buy another next week. But for this moment it was a good idea. I was just so sick of it. I would stand on that stupid thing almost every morning. All I ever accomplished was to make me feel bad about myself. How dumb is that? I mean I still feel like the same beautiful and sexy gal. (I can thank Shawn for that one, he always makes me feel like I'm some kind of goddess. Maybe a slightly curvier goddess...lol, but a sexy goddess none the less) So why do I torture myself that way. The fact that I've gained weight over the last year is no secrete to me. I curtainly don't need the scale to remind me daily of that. Yet I would still go and stand on it almost every morning. Like I would magically lose the weight over night or something. Then over the last month with everything in the house being out of place, including the bathroom. The scale was kinda out of place out of mind. So when I went and weighted myself the other day (before it was filled with catfood...lol) I was surprised to learn I had actually lost ten pounds. Woo-hoo, what's that old saying about a watched pot never boiling. Lol, ok maybe not, but it sounds good  =) Anyways I guess the point is..... my weigth is really irrelevant as long as I feel good about myself. Which I do. Most of the time. So why keep the scale around as a daily reminder to feel bad about myself?????
Oh well enough of that. Like I said before, I'll probably run out, no longer being able to take the unknown, and buy me a new one. But for now I will live in my self made bliss as the master of my own domain/happiness.

Speaking of which, my happiness and all. My quest in re-finding myself is going well. I am loving, loving my classes. They are challenging and I am having fun at the same time. I have my first assignment due this week. So I'll have to get over my HUGE procrastination flaw and get to it. Of course first I have to find the right paper. Every place in town seems to be out of the paper I need, bummer deal. Just adds to my procrastination....lol, like I need more help in that department.(big cheesy grin) We are also having our first in class critiquing which could get a bit scary. I don't take rejection well. I might have to pout all about it next journal entry. =)

Oh and case in point from my last enrty. Guess what ran out in front on me and almost KILLED me? It was just like I feared. I'm driving along Farmers loop on my way home from class the other night. It's dark, it's raining, it's a big BIG ASS STUPID MOOSE, Ugh!!!! Luckily the road wasn't icey or the car and I would have become one with the moose. Oh the joys of living in Alaska....lol