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Copyright © 2002-2004
by James P. Hauser except where otherwise noted.  All rights reserved.

Dictionary of Boss Talkin'

This dictionary was inspired by all the crazy people who have invented colorful and creative ways to sling slang and play with the English language.  In particular, it is done as a tribute to Cab Calloway and his Hepster's Dictionary and to Pittsburgh's beloved long-time DJ, the Daddio of the Raddio, the Porkulatin' Platter Pushin' Papa, the Bossman himself--Porky Chedwick.  You can find Calloway's Hepster's Dictionary in his autobiography titled Of Minnie the Moocher and Me.  And you can sample some Porky on the CD Cruisin' With Porky Chedwick available from Increase Records.

Note: Many of these definitions have been cooked up by my imagination.  For example, I'll hear an interesting line in an old blues song (for example: "she sleeps in the kitchen with her feet in the hall") and try to figure out its meaning through the application of some extra heavy duty pondering.  In addition to blues songs, the defined terms and phrases come from books, movies, television, and an occasional hiccup from my own mind.

By the way, there is a great book on blues terminology written by Debra DeSalvo titled The Language of the Blues which is available from Amazon.com and discerning bookstores in your own home town whether it's New York City or Baggaley, Pennsylvania.

Armstrongs - high notes played exceedingly well on a musical instrument, especially a trumpet or other horn.

as cool as Elvis and ice tea - really, really cool

as colorful as a balloon farm - very. very colorful.  Rock 'n' roll pioneer Little Richard's personality was as colorful as a balloon farm.

as much fun as sortin' cats in a cold shower - A task or activity which is very unpleasant might be described as being as much fun as sortin' cats in a cold shower.

barbecue - woman, girlfriend

barkin' iron - small pistol

beat farmer - musician

behind the parade - out of style, old-fashioned 

blue Monday jam - If you're in a blue Monday jam, you're in a really tight spot.  An exceptionally bad jam.

big trouble and small paradise - a woman who is described as being big trouble and small paradise is something like a femme fatale, except she's extra generous on the femme and usually goes a little easy on the fatale.  Rather than the dark, smoldering Lola-Lola from Juke Girl, she's sunny and seemingly innocent like the moonshiner's daughter in I Walk the Line.  Boy...that Penelope Cream is a load of big trouble and small paradise.

bigger than a two ton feather - really, really big

bringin'  the devil out of the hole - raisin' hell.

bug tussle - 1. an altercation between two small children.  2. a fight between two females involving a lot of rolling around in the dirt and the flailing of limbs in every direction imaginable and unimaginable.  Usually there ain't much damage from such an encounter -- except to big hair, evening gowns, and reputations.

can't holler sooey - The use of this phrase expresses the condition of being extremely tired.  For added emphasis, the phrase may be lengthened to "I'm so tired I couldn't holler sooey if the pigs had me down".

caught blam blam fever - went on a shooting spree.  "We're gonna pull this bank job without nobody gettin' hurt--that means no itchy trigger fingers and nobody catchin' blam blam fever."

coin grabber - a coin grabber is a money maker. Back in the days when jukeboxes were housed in every bar, pizza parlor, and burger joint, coin grabbers were the hit records that sucked all the change out of your pocket into the jukeboxes.

cold in hand - possessing no money at all; totally flat broke.

coolin' board - 1. death bed.  2.  A more historically accurate definition comes from Tampa Blue.  According to him, coolin'  boards were actually boards laid across blocks of ice.  Especially in the heat and humidity of the South, it was a practice to place a dead body on a coolin' board to slow down the deterioration process.  This allowed time for relatives and friends who lived outside the local area to travel to view the body and say their final goodbyes.

The coolin' board is mentioned in the lyrics of Son House's "Death Letter".  (The White Stripes recorded a nice remake of it.)  Also, Lightnin' Hopkins makes reference to the coolin' board in his "Smokes Like Lightnin'" and "Coolin' Board Blues". 

cocktail-jazzin' loungin' Lenny - an individual whose favorite type of music is cocktail jazz and whose favorite live performers are all Vegas lounge acts.

cool water casual - a cool water casual day is a day that's so hot and lazy that even the beavers are askin' "What for?"

cruisin' Lucy - a tough, streetwise female, especially one that drives a Hog.. "That girl can really take care of herself; she's a regular cruisin' Lucy".

cuttin' tall timber - taking a long, deep sleep.

cuttin' the monkey - acting like a fool.

dancin' in the devil's shoes - raisin' hell and havin' a good time.

dark city dame - a dangerous woman; a femme fatale.

devil's haircut - A devil's haircut is what you get when you are so frightened that your hair stands on end.

devil's horn - saxophone.

dixie fried - drunk

doin' the bedroom mazurka -  having sex.

don't know if he's in heaven, hell, or halfway to Houston - 1. in a state of absolute confusion  2. in a daze.   "Harley was in a bar fight and got hit so hard that it took him a week before he finally figured out if he was in heaven, hell, or halfway to Houston."

8 ball chick - female gangster

eight rock - the blackest ball on the pool table, the eight ball.  In the song "Blue Gummed Blues", the singer calls her man an eight rock.

empty stocking blues - one of the worst kinda blues a man can have--it's the all-alone-and-lonely-on-Christmas-Day blues. The great Floyd Dixon wrote a song about it.

eyeball boulevard - the catwalk in a fashion show or strip joint.

fattenin' frogs for snakes - doing work for which others (the snakes) take the credit or get the benefit of; being a dupe.  (definition provided by Barrelhouse Solly)   Sonny Boy Williamson recorded a song about it.

fingerbuster - a really hot guitar or piano solo.

Frank's Jazz Alley - 1. any establishment described as being "just like Frank's Jazz Alley" is a place where there is an exceptional amount of partying and celebration along with a generous dose of frivolity.   2. Euphemism for a woman's genitals.  A man and woman who "met at Frank's Jazz Alley" have had sexual intercourse.

Gin Mill Sal - a woman who hangs around bars lookin' for guys to buy her drinks.  The great Champion Jack Dupree wrote a song about her.

the hairy and the smooth - The bad and the good. Often worded as "ya gotta take the hairy with the smooth". Can also be used in reference to music, with "the hairy" being music which is wild, low-down, full of rough edges, or just plain lacking in Grandma's good manners, and "the smooth" referring to music which is polished, sophisticated, elegant, etc. In the world of classic rhythm and blues, the music of Wynonie Harris is a great example of "the hairy"--heck, even his song titles could be quite risque (for example, "Keep on Churnin' 'Til the Butter Comes). At the other end of the R&B spectrum, Charles Brown's music is the classic example of "the smooth". Just listen to his great recording of "Merry Christmas Baby"; it could cool even the grouchiest grinch about the whole darn Christmas thing. In contrast, for a hairy version of the same song, listen to Ike and Tina Turner's rendition--Maaaan!, it can really stir up your Santa juices!   See also "just got kicked from the hairy to the smooth"

haulin' the night train from momma - a guy who's haulin' the night train from momma is carrying a heavy load of dark psychological problems related to his mother.

high-fivin' - 1. a "prisoner" of the blues who is quite happy and enthusiastic about his particular mode of incarceration. "Eric Clapton has been high fivin' since the day he first picked up a guitar".  2. spending the night in the county jail.

highway hankle - to lure or entice someone into doing something which takes that person down a path of danger or exposes him/her to a load of trouble.  Another term for this is "high water hankle".   "She was so full of devious charm, she could high water hankle a billy goat into kissin' a skinny gator."

high Henry - Once upon a time, Ford automobiles were called "Henrys" and locomotives or trains were referred to as "High Henrys".

high note grease - is the application of concentration and effort. "Ya gotta apply a little high note grease to get them Armstrongs."

honeydripper -  a great lover.

I'm gonna bring him the big chalk - I'm gonna teach him a lesson.

Jack Iron - a potent rum from the Grenadine Islands in the Caribbean. If they ladelled it out of a giant cauldron into a bottle, slapped a dancing skeleton label on it, and rolled it across the bar to ya, then--as Ray Charles...er...as Harry Belafonte would say--"you got da right ting baby!".

just got kicked from the hairy to the smooth - Someone who has just got kicked from the hairy to the smooth has just had a great stroke of luck.  See also "the hairy and the smooth."

key slinger - a piano player.

klutch kargo - the material possessions you take with you when the house is on fire, or when the ship is sinking, or after you've just busted down the door 'cause your old lady has done changed the lock on ya.

knows some everybody, does some everything - a woman who "knows some everybody, does some everything" is a loose woman.

let me put you wise - let me explain somethin' to ya.

limbo slam - to limbo slam someone is to take advantage of him while he is in an especially vulnerable position. 

livin' on nuthin' but paw paws and high wind - very, very poor.  (This phrase refers to the paw paw fruit and the wind that shakes it out of the trees.)  "We were so poor that we were livin' on nuthin' but paw paws and high wind."

lollipop league - a large gang of playing children.

Lord willin' and the creeks don't rise - if God and luck are with us. 

losin' double ugly - someone who is losin' double ugly is losing at a game despite the fact that he's cheating.

Louisiana yard dog - alligator

Mississippi saxophone - a harmonica which is amplified and being used to play the blues.

monkey meet - an especially wild party.  "Man, last year's New Year's bash at Horsie's Hot Spot was a reeeal monkey meet!"

natural fact - 1. a basic fact or truth, an indisputable fact.  After making an assertion in an argument, you can punctuate it by saying "And that's a natural fact!"  

nobody rolled bigger stones - nobody did it better.  "When it comes to putting on wingdings and other such parties, nobody rolled bigger stones than the folks at Alfalfa's Rascal Joint."

one-eyed ride - a dangerous trip or undertaking

pink stinkers - a bouquet of flowers.

pleasure baron - a man who really knows how to live.  Pleasure barons generally have a deep appreciation for rock 'n' roll and roots music, and a certain fondness for beer, wild women, and raisin' hell.

the purple drowsies - Someone who's been hit with the purple drowsies has been knocked out by a blow to the head.  "Not long after Roscoe was flirting with Floyd's girl, he came down with a case of the purple drowsies."

rhythm juggler - drummer

ridin' lightnin' -  1. taking a big risk.  2. toying with danger.

ridin' the dog - traveling by Greyhound bus.

risin' beauties - breasts

rock 'n' roll nurse - a music loving female whose kisses keep her man mighty healthy, and, whenever something ails him, she administers the highly effective, all-purpose, and all-natural medicinal/musical concoction: Chuck Berry's Golden Decade, Volume 2 .

rollin' the rock - 1. working  2. busy

roscoe -  handgun

showin' more meat than a butcher's window - scantily clad.

slippin' her the frosty paw - making an unwelcome advance towards a woman.  "Less than an hour after Cosmo met Babs, he was already slippin' her the frosty paw."

so good it'll make the devil run - excellent, top-notch, the best .  "He can play that horn so good it'll make the devil run."  This phrase is often employed in response to the question, "How good is it?"  (Answer:  "So good it'll make the devil run.")

squat 'n' gobble joint - an old-fashioned diner; a greasy spoon.

stick chick - a female cop.

still in hoof 'n' hide - not dressed yet

stop checkin' your Elgin - don't rush me, don't get impatient.

string bender -  a guitar player

talkin' with books in his jaws - acting like a know-it-all.

teeth 'n' tongue fight - a fight with plenty of physical violence (teeth knocked out, biting, etc.) and verbal abuse (yelling, cursing, and colorful descriptions of close relatives).

that ain't how a monkey makes chocolate - that's not the way it's done.  "Willie, I saw you last night at The Thirsty Turtle tryin' to flirt with Sunny Wix, and I got news for you--that ain't how a monkey makes chocolate.

the hairy and the smooth - The bad and the good. Often worded as "ya gotta take the hairy with the smooth". Can also be used in reference to music, with "the hairy" being music which is wild, low-down, full of rough edges, or just plain lacking in Grandma's good manners, and "the smooth" referring to music which is polished, sophisticated, elegant, etc. In the world of classic rhythm and blues, the music of Wynonie Harris is a great example of "the hairy"--heck, even his song titles could be quite risque (for example, "Keep on Churnin' 'Til the Butter Comes). At the other end of the R&B spectrum, Charles Brown's music is the classic example of "the smooth". Just listen to his great recording of "Merry Christmas Baby"; it could cool even the grouchiest grinch about the whole darn Christmas thing. In contrast, for a hairy version of the same song, listen to Ike and Tina Turner's rendition--Maaaan!, it can really stir up your Santa juices!   See also "just got kicked from the hairy to the smooth"

trick the talk - to do something in a unique or stylish way.  To do something with flair.  "Man, she can really trick the talk out on that dance floor."

triggerfish twistin' - rolling around and writhing on the floor in pain

watchin' channel zero - wastin' time.

wearin' the wrong shade of red - Someone who is wearin' the wrong shade of red has got blood stains on his clothes.

when the sun shines through the back door - when the truth comes out.

your funeral and my trial -  This phrase is used to threaten another person.  "Ty Ty, if you don't stop messin' with my car, it's gonna be your funeral and my trial".

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