Cherry and I returned to school the second week of January. It was cold and damp but snow had not again graced our world since the night of Laurel’s birth. As soon as we walked into the school building both Cherry and I rushed to Emily’s office to see the newest and smallest school member. She was asleep in one of those portable cribs in a corner of Emily’s office. Cherry’s eyes smiled as she signed “Sweet.”
“She is not sweet when she wakes me up at 3 am wanting to eat.” Emily signed but her eyes said differently than her hands.
“You okay?” I signed because I knew all too well what it was like with a new baby in the house especially one that was such a surprise.
“I am tired. I maybe sleep two hours at a stretch between feedings, and diapers. She seems to have her nights and days reversed. She sleeps during the day and is awake at night.”
“It will change. She’ll start sleeping at night more soon. Just think we are here to keep her awake during the day.”
“No, I’ll never get any work done if all she wants to do is eat.”
“You’ve not learned the fine art of getting work done one handed?” I asked teasing her.
“You know that I can’t sign correctly with only one hand,” she answered as the baby made a sound.
“Yes,” I signed. “I’m teasing you.”
“Oh I see. I’m sorry I am on a short fuse. Not enough sleep and too many things to do,” Emily replied leaning back in her chair and stretching. I kept wait for the chair to break when she did this but it never has in all the times I’ve seen her stretch like that.
“We’ll leave you alone then. But if we can be of any help let us know. We can watch her if you need a break,” Cherry stated as we both started to leave.
“This Saturday is Homecoming at the Deaf School. I am being inducted into the Athletic Hall of Fame for Swimming. I’d like it if you both come.”
“Wow! That’s neat. Sure I’ll come,” I answered as Cherry indicated the same.
“Good, now go to class. This week is horrible for me.”
“Sorry, I don’t have class until tonight. I’ll be in the computer lab.” Cherry answered.
“Same for me too. But I have one question before I leave you alone.”
“What?”
“I am curious to what the doctor’s have said about her hearing. I know it makes no difference to you or to me really. I’m just curious.”
“They think she is deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other. They want to do more tests.”
“Oh, I guess that raises the question to if you will put a hearing aid on her?”
“It will depend on how much she hears in the one ear.”
“I understand. Okay I’ll see you later,” I said and turned and left her office contemplating if I really did understand. What would I do if I were in Emily’s position? If Laurel was my child would I want her to wear a hearing aid that allowed her to be a member of the hearing world and like those who hear or would I turn away from that world and let her grow-up in the Deaf World only? Until came to Wolf Lake I would have said a hearing aid all the way. But deaf meant something totally bad to me. Since then I have learned to accept much more that deaf doesn’t have to mean bad. It was only how it happened to me that made my situation bad not really the fact that I lost my hearing. I have come to learn that in the past most people who were Culturally Deaf would want their child to be the same as them, no different than hearing wanting a hearing child. But since the invent of pagers, computers and all the electronic devices that allow Deaf to have more access and capability in communicating with the world around them that there is no longer such a push for Deaf to want Deaf children. Given the conversation I had with Emily over the summer I knew she wanted what ever was best for her child. For me this meant that she would willingly let Laurel be a member of both the Hearing World and the Deaf World. And I believe that I would want the same for my child.
Some hearing people I have come to find out are very offended by the idea that Deaf people want to marry Deaf people not only for the Cultural aspect but so that the chances that they will have a child that is also Deaf is increased. These hearing people could be said to want to practice eugenics. They see it that by Deaf marrying Deaf that they are allowing for a physical deformity to be knowingly propagated. I don’t understand this way of thinking. Even before I lost my hearing I wouldn’t have understood, even the fact that I am a scientist does not change my feelings. I guess I see it if two people fall in love that it shouldn’t matter if there is something one Culture sees as being a defect. It should only matter that that couple is happy. I also think that there are different types of beings on this earth. Yes most are hearing but just like with race we all have differences. Maybe being Deaf is just part of a larger plan no different than black is from white. If that is the case then the only defect is a mental one in those who think they are better than someone else because they don’t have the same genetic difference.
I guess though I do see some point to the eugenics supporter’s argument but not when it is something like being deaf. I can understand if people were marrying so they could have a baby with some horrible disease that would lead only to degeneration and death like Tay Sachs or Sickle Cell Anemia. I mean purposely wanting a baby with those diseases. Then yes I can say no way should people knowingly create such a child. But being deaf? It’s not even in the same ballpark. People who are deaf have perfectly normal lives the only difference is they do not hear. It is only hearing people who think that to be deaf is a handicap and by that way of thinking make life more difficult for those of us who are deaf through the oppression this idea allows to form.
My aunt is one of these people I think. I am an adult but she treats me as if I am a child, without a brain in my head. She seems to think that because I am deaf that it means I am stupid. It doesn’t matter to her that I have 3 college degrees and know 3 languages to a functional level. All she sees is that I am handicap and therefore must be taken care of and treated as someone who can’t think for themselves.
Case in point would be when my maternal grandfather was still living. He had had a stroke back in 1991and was left a hemiplegic. His right side was paralyzed and since his left-brain was damaged he could not speak. In 1994, I was in nursing school and doing decently. My class work was fine. I had just completed laboratory work on how to change an IV line that was on a timing machine. My grandfather soon after I had become proficient at changing the IV line had pneumonia. He was sent home with one of those machines to regulate his antibiotics and to keep him hydrated. One night I was visiting when the IV bag needed changed. My aunt was there as well. What needed to be done flustered her. So I said I’d help. I told her step by step what I had learned in nursing school about how to change the bag. But she wouldn’t listen to me. She had to call the home health care nurse to help her change the bag. That nurse was an LPN with no more education than I had. She told my aunt basically everything I had just told her to do. But it didn’t matter to my aunt all she saw was that I am handicap so I couldn’t possibly know what the hell I was talking about. Thinking back it makes me angry. It was with a sour face that I entered the computer lab to join Cherry. “What are you going to wear to this Athletics Hall of Fame thing?” I asked as I sat down to check on the gals in the support group.
“Something nice but not too fancy, probably a pant outfit. How about you?”
“Probably the same,” I said as we heard Laurel begin to cry.
*****
The days pasted quickly. Before Cherry and I knew it Saturday evening was upon us. We dressed in some of our better finery and headed towards the School for the Deaf. We’d learned that we would be attending a Banquet that would be in ASL and interpreted for the hearing instead of the usual other way around which was really cool.
Emily greeted us at the door looking tired but still managed a smile at us as we passed. We sat down at one of the tables off to the right of the podium feeling rather like outcasts. No one sat with us. It was obvious that we were outsiders in this place. It wasn’t Emily’s fault. There wasn’t anything she could have done to change the situation. She couldn’t force people to sit with us since it was open seating. But that didn’t make us feel much better. Jane and Colin showed up and they didn’t sit with us either. I looked around the room for a familiar face anyone that would talk to Cherry and I and found the room to be wanting of Deaf people that I knew. Only about 3 people where there that I had met before besides Emily, Jane and Colin and they all were engaged in conversations at other tables.
I wondered if Emily had brought Laurel with her and if she had where the baby was. I finally saw the baby was asleep in her carrier along the wall behind the podium. Most people wouldn’t have even noticed she was there. I pointed her out to Cherry but we didn’t leave the table to go peek at her. It was better to leave her be so she wouldn’t wake until she was ready to. Hopefully that meant after the ceremony. Instead Cherry and I signed between ourselves. Just about the time we were ready to give up and consign ourselves to being really out of place Todd from the ASLTA Gala showed up and sat with us. I’d never been so grateful for another living soul to sit down with me as I was with him. Cherry proceeded to sign with him for the rest of the evening while I tried to play follow the signer and interject something now and then.
After we ate our dinner Janet Coomer started the ceremonies. She was Emily’s swim coach when Emily was a student at the school. Janet had retired the year before from her position at the school but maintained contact with her former students. Cherry and I had met Janet at the bowling alley during our laboratory observations for our ASL classes. But like everyone else it seemed that she was with a group of other people so she couldn’t come over and see Cherry and I before the ceremonies had began.
Janet signed the list of inductees and announced the first presenter. I read the information that was given about the inductee in the program we had been given and tried to follow what was being signed. I gave up though after about 3 minutes. I didn’t know the man and couldn’t connect with his contribution to the School because of it. I tried to listen to the interpreter but she was sitting far enough away that I couldn’t hear her voice without my hearing aid being turned up so much that it gave a very annoying feedback. She was also sitting so I couldn’t see her face or lips. So I sat and watched the crowed instead.
Colin and Jane were watching and listening intently to what was being said. Emily was as well. Some of the people were quietly still nibbling on their dinner. Todd was signing with Cherry off and on commenting on this and that of what was being said. So in truth I was bored stiff.
Finally after sitting for what seemed like eternity Janet introduced Emily and asked her to the podium. Janet told about how Emily was as an athlete at the school. She explained how dedicated Emily had been. It seems that Emily would go to the gym at 5 AM every morning to work with the weights to strengthen her arms and legs so she could be a better swimmer. Even then Emily had pushed herself to the physical limit so she could be the best she could be. I sat in awe of Emily once again. She is such an inspiring woman yet she doesn’t talk about her past much with the student body at Wolf Lake College. I asked her why once and she said she was humble. I sat there learning again of Emily accomplishment and felt a swelling of pride in my chest. I was proud that Emily had succeeded and been one of the top Deaf swimmers in the World. I was proud because all my life I had thought that if you were deaf you couldn’t be anything but a failure. But here was this woman who had set records, won medals and proved how wrong my thoughts had been. For the first time I was proud of something a Deaf person had done to overcome the handicap inflicted upon her by the hearing world. Sitting and watching Janet tell Emily’s story once again I found myself in tears. I only wish that Emily was not so humble and let her accomplishment be better known. Not because I think hearing students would think “How Wonderful!” but so deaf people like myself who have had no exposure can find hope and a reason to believe that all dreams are obtainable.