When Cherry and I arrived at the hospital it was after 7 PM and Emily was asleep. Cherry and I looked at each other as if to ask how do you wake up a sleeping Deaf woman without scaring the hell out of her? Of course the simple answer is flash the light but the room was still somewhat bright with the setting sun filtering through the window. I wasn't positive that Emily would detect the difference in light intensity. But let Cherry flash the light any way. Emily turned her head toward the curtain, "Your back? Didn't I just get rid of you?" she teased.
"You not get rid me easily. I brought someone see you."
"Who?"
"Me," Cherry signed stepping out from behind the curtain.
"Oh go away. I thought maybe someone I want see," Emily signed deadpan.
Cherry pretended to be crestfallen but I think she knew Emily was teasing her, at least I hope she did. Sometimes it's hard to tell when Emily is joking and when she is being serious. I've come to assume most anything she signs is a joke until proven otherwise. If Emily were ever charged with being a clown, she'd be guilty as charged. "But, I thought you like me?" Cherry sniffed and looked sad but her eyes said differently.
"What's up?" Emily signed dropping one joke for another.
"Why do you think anything up?" I asked.
"You not look happy."
"Oh, okay. I bring news from school."
Emily stuck out her lower lip and blew air. It is her, "Oh God now what?" and her "I rather be doing anything other than what I am doing" expression. "I not want know."
"I not want tell you. No choice," I replied as Cherry arranged some flowers we had stopped off and bought to make Emily's room slightly more cheerful.
"Do I need to call the nurse and get another booster of this medication?" Emily smiled.
"Maybe," I replied as Emily blew more air.
"Fine, tell me."
"Joanna called again. She wants your ideas for Jack's funeral."
"Okay. That fine."
"More."
Emily closed her eyes really not wanting to know what else. Eventually she opened them, "What?"
"Tomorrow she flying here, see you. She not want arrange Jack funeral over TTY," I signed and looked away because I didn't want to see her expression but of course it was only briefly.
"I not want see her. She see this, know. I not want her know Jack baby," she pointed to her protruding abdomen.
"She not have know truth. You can tell her you here for other reason," Cherry interjected.
"I can say what?"
Cherry looked at me, hoping I'd have an idea. I did but I wasn't sure if we could pull it off. "You can say you here for D and C."
"That what?" Emily asked looking confused.
"Remember when you lost baby I say you might need D and C. Same thing. Medical name dilation and curettage. Doctor say have D and C if have abnormal bleeding. D and C done when women near menopause bleed heavy."
"She think I have miscarriage, No?"
"Not if you tell her for other reason."
"That explain why I on this floor?"
"Yes."
"How hide this?" Emily asked pointing to fetal heart monitor belt and machine.
"Tomorrow maybe not need all time. Maybe nurse take away if you told her you not want Joanna know you pregnant."
"How hide this?" touching her abdomen.
"Under this," I said pointing to the tray table then moved it across her bed to see if would work
"How look?" Emily asked Cherry who was standing back from the foot of the bed.
"Maybe raise legs little," Cherry instructed as Emily moved the bed frame button and brought her legs up a little causing her to sit more in a shallow indentation in the bed.
"That work," Cherry signed with a smile.
"Joanna come time?" Emily asked after she lowered her legs back to flat.
"I not know. Sally not tell me time. I think first Joanna come school," I answered sitting on the edge of her bed.
"Tomorrow I need help. You have class?"
"No, tomorrow no class," I looked at Cherry.
She signed "Yes, tomorrow night."
Emily looked at me, "You bring Joanna see me?"
"If you want."
"Yes, I want. Maybe you tell Cherry when Joanna come school. Cherry come here first, help me?"
"If Joanna come early, sure," Cherry answered.
"Good, Thank you."
"I want tell you something," I signed to Emily. I didn't mind Cherry knowing what I was about to say but if it had been anyone else I'd have not said it.
"What?"
"I believe everything happen in our lives for reason. You know I not want come here school. I not want learn ASL. I angry, hurt, not want accept my hearing. I think Deaf only mean bad. I meet you. My world, my thoughts, my ideas change because you, Jane. I think maybe reason I have to learn ASL not because I Deaf. I think I come here meet you. I think God know we need each other. I learn from you. You learn from me. We need be friends that reason I must be here.
"You think?" Emily smiled.
"I know, too much," I laughed
Cherry was crying and trying to hide it by looking out the window at the cars passing on the highway into the night. "Never know maybe you right. Maybe higher power knew the two of us need each other."
"We go, visiting hours over. You need rest. The two of you in my prayers," I signed and then leaned over and gave her a hug.
"My prayers same," Cherry signed also giving her a hug. Then we left Emily alone with her thoughts and her child.
Later Cherry and I sat beneath the silver maple tree at my apartment building and watched the planes on their approach to the airport fly over head beneath a canopy of stars and night sky. "You believe in God, right?" Cherry asked me.
"Yeah I do. I just don't always have much faith in him."
"Why?"
"Every time I would walk down the long hall towards an operating theater, I was sure God would grant me a miracle. I was sure every time that six weeks later when the packing came out of my ear, I would hear. And each time instead of hearing better, my hearing was worse. Oh how I prayed for those miracles only to be crushed when they never came. After awhile I stopped having faith in God. I believe in him just stopped trusting him. But maybe this was his plan. Maybe I am the way I am so that I can help others like Emily and Jane have helped me."
"Thine will be done?"
"Yeah, his will. You know the song, "The Dance?"
"Sure, Garth Brooks sings it."
"Well that was sort of my anthem. I look back and think if I hadn't had any of my surgeries maybe my life would be much different but I'd have to have missed the Dance. There has been so much good to happen in my life because I chose the path I did. I no longer regret and will never regret again making the choices I did. The choices I made have lead me here, lead me to meet you, Emily and Jane and so many other wonderful people and to learn about a whole world that I'd maybe not have known. You know life really is a chain? One event links to another, we just never know what the next link will be but that's what makes life an adventure and worth living."
"You're right. And this has been some adventure."
"That it has been. Thanks for being my friend Cherry. You are very special to me too. I've just never taken the time to tell you. But I didn't want you to go home tonight, not knowing how dear you are to me. God Bless you Cherry."
"You're making me cry," She said before we hugged.
Life is good.
*****
(Trying a new format)
One thing I miss most when using ASL is names. I have always loved names, which might explain at least partially my doll collection where at one time I named every single doll with a first and middle name. I gave that up when one year for Christmas I received 21 dolls. The point being is names mean something to me. I'm not sure if names mean as much to all persons with hearing or not. However, when using ASL the use of names basically goes right out the window. Here is an example of what I mean. A hearing person using English might yell at their child, "John Robert Doe, get over here!" When using ASL that wouldn't occur. If the person you want to talk to were present in the room, the person signing would point at them meaning you, he or she. If you want that person's attention you'd do the flashing light, waving hand, stomping of the foot or pounding on the table thing but you'd neither fingerspell their name nor would you use their name sign. There is an exception to the name sign rule, I believe. You would use that person's name sign if you were using an intermediate to gain the persons attention and the intermediate knew the person you were wishing to talk to. Otherwise you'd use descriptive classifiers. Descriptive classifiers would be like saying woman, medium height, large build, brown hair, brown eyes, glasses, hoop earrings, wearing a green T-shirt with writing on it, jeans, … and so on. When using ASL you really describe everything around you. Description is a very big deal in ASL. If ever asked by someone who uses ASL as their primary language something that requires description be extremely thorough. It will mean a lot to the person who asked you. Anyway, name signs are seemingly used when the person is not in the room with you or perhaps as I said when using an intermediate. Thus said in truth when I say Emily's name when telling what I am saying to her, I am being incorrect. In actuality I am merely pointing at her indicating "You."