My breath caught in my throat when the realization of who was standing in front of me registered in my mind. When in the presence of danger you don't stop and think what you should do, you just react and that's what I did. I reacted swiftly. I attempted to shut the door as fast as I had opened it. But Jack grabbed the door and kept me from shutting it. Reacting fast I reached for my pepper spray that hung on a nail next to the door, aimed it past his hand into his face and let it rip. He jerked his hand out of the door leaving flesh and blood behind, letting out a screech as he fell backward clawing at his face. I slammed the door shut and sunk to the floor in tears.
I don't know how long I sat on the floor trying to catch my breath, fighting the tears of panic that had overwhelmed me. I know at some point I heard Jack stumble down the stairs. But even then I couldn't calm myself enough to call the police. Finally, after what seemed like hours I crawled into my living room, dialed 911 and reported Jack. When I looked at the clock on the VCR I discovered more than an hour had passed since I'd been on the TTY with Jane. An hour that Jack was now cruising around Wolf Lake looking for Emily… an hour in which he could be at Jane's… I could only hope that my pepper spraying him had deterred him enough that he'd decide to leave town instead of causing more harm.
The police were at my door within minutes of my call to them. I tried to answer what I could of their questions but how much could I say? I saw his face and the blood and skin left on my doorframe belonged to him but I had nothing else I could tell them. The cops wanted me to stay someplace else for the night. I had nowhere to go. Though I had friends from school most of them lived in other outlying areas and not some place close or within driving distance. I wasn't going to call any of them to come into town just for me.
While I was still talking to a persistent detective Jane showed up. I hadn't called her. I had no idea how she knew but I was glad to see her at least there was someone there who I felt cared about me. I was rather amazed that she was there. I mean though I cared greatly about Jane I'd not really considered her a friend in the same sense as Emily. Jane was still by far most my teacher before she was my friend. Emily on the other hand I considered my friend first and then my teacher.
The detective left after I informed him for what seemed the fiftieth time that I knew nothing else besides the man was standing outside my door at 7 PM. I turned to Jane and signed hi sort of sheepishly. She returned the sign and then asked if I was okay. "Nervous," I replied.
"I understand," she replied.
"Why did you come here?" I asked furrowing my brows in correct ASL grammar even if my question was not in ASL order.
"Police at my house told me," Jane replied. "I didn't want you to be alone."
"Oh," I mouthed in surprise. "Who with your children?"
"The police are paroling the neighborhood. You are coming with me!" She stated
My eyes bulged, "I'm going with you, where?"
"My House," she signed.
I signed, "I'm surprised!"
"Do you have someplace else to go?" Jane asked.
"No and no money for a Hotel," I answered.
"Would your mother want you to stay here?"
"No, if I told her what happen she'd tell me to come home."
Jane smiled. I felt so strange with her saying I was to go home with her. Jane and I had never breeched the teacher/student barrier. There was always that professional distance between us. I didn't know what to think now that she expected me to go home with her.
Jane was so hard to get to know. One minute you'd think you understood her viewpoint and the next she was a bout 50 feet left of where you thought she was. It left me always wondering and confused because I couldn't figure out what Jane was thinking…. ever, and now this? I'd never have dreamed in a million years that Jane would insist on my going to her house. But she was!
I packed quickly and followed Jane from my apartment without much in the way of comment. I was at loss for words. Emily would probably laugh at that because I am never at loss for words. J After we got to Jane's I was directed to put my bag in a room and then was surrounded by Jane's tribe. Every one of them signing to me at the same time… well, at least it seemed that way. I did my best to answer them and then we all settled down to watch the TV. I must admit usually I watch my TV without sound reading the caption. Actually that statement isn't exactly truthful. The sound is normally on but I turn off my hearing aid to watch. But this was the first time that I was surrounded by people who didn't bother with sound in the first place. That was until Katty came out of her bedroom and joined us. Then Becky turned the sound on for her grandmother.
No one told Katty who I was. I don't even know if she realized there was someone there who didn't belong. For all I knew she could just have thought that I was one of the kids. Most of Jane's children were bigger than me anyway. Only Patrick was smaller and since he was 8 and a half I was thrilled that he was smaller.
I don't know if it was the emotional stress of what had occurred to me but by 10 PM I couldn't hold my eyes open. It was only when I stood to go to the room where I'd been told to put my bag that Katty spoke. "Who are you?"
I turned and smiled at her. "My name is Rachel."
Her jaw dropped open, "You talk?"
"Yes, I can hear with my hearing aids."
"I so miss voices."
"I understand. I hope you will forgive me but I'm exhausted. I hope to see you in the morning. Good night."
"G'night Rachel," Katty said with an Irish lilt.
I was given a girl's bedroom. I supposed it was probably Liz's bedroom since she was the older of the girls. I figured she was given a room of her own while Diana and Becky shared a room. But I could easily have been wrong. I didn't take the time to investigate. I changed clothes, went to bed and slept soundly. In the morning I was awakened by the gentle touch of a child. I opened my eyes to find Diana smiling at me. "Mom says breakfast is ready."
I signed, "Okay." Then I put my hearing aid in my ear, realizing that I really didn't have much need for it at Jane's.
The morning went quickly. I sat talking to the children and Katty for most of it. Katty asked a lot questions and wanted to know the most about me. I think she talked so much because she missed having an English conversation. I'm pretty sure that some of Jane's children did speak English and not just sign. I know that Jane can talk but prefers not to be oral. I heard her once but I didn't understand what she said. Because profoundly Deaf people can't hear their own voices except for maybe head tones, they have no idea what they sound like to the rest of the world. The tonality is sort of Micky Mouse to me in a higher pitch, maybe more nasal sounding. I really can't describe it but I'm sure those of you who have heard someone who is pre-lingually Deaf speak know what I am talking about. It is one of the things I fear in going completely deaf. I don't want to have that sound.
Jane hadn't told me when she was going to take me to my apartment but by mid-afternoon I was getting antsy. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy her family or her mother but I was beginning to feel I'd overstayed my stay. The cops had checked in several times and were certain that Jack was now heading west. The problem was he was managing to keep one step a head of them. Because of this I wasn't afraid to return to my apartment. I just didn't know exactly how to tell Jane that I was ready to go home. When she finally told me that she was ready to go I was thrilled. But as soon as we were in her car it became apparent we were not going to my apartment first. I didn't ask where we were going and Jane didn't supply me with the answer. So I sat and watched the streets go by between sideway glances at Jane to see if she was going to sign anything.
An hour went by before we came to a town northeast of Wolf Lake. I knew that the town was where Emily had grownup. It dawned on me that possibly Jane was taking me to see Emily. When Jane pulled up to a motel I knew for sure that was what we were doing. I tapped her on the shoulder and gave Emily's name sign with the questioning facial grammar. She responded with the sign for yes. I smiled as we left the car.
Emily opened the door after Jane knocked on it. It didn't surprise me that Emily had heard the knock. I knew she heard sounds like that. When she opened the door I was amazed at the difference in her. She'd, for lack of a better way to describe it, blossomed. It could definitely no longer be called a secret that Emily was pregnant. She had in 2 weeks time popped out there. I shook my hand in the wow sign at the sight of her abdomen. Then I laughingly signed, "You ate a volleyball?"
"Watermelon Seed," she corrected as Jane and then I gave her a hug. Jane touched her belly and signed something that I didn't understand. Emily replied, "Yes," with a smile.
I was a bit leery to do the same. In Deaf Culture, at least from what I can tell, it is much more acceptable to touch and hug than in the hearing culture, but even knowing that I held back some. I know that not all pregnant women like everyone touching their abdomens as if the very fact that they are carrying life gives everyone the right to infringe on their space. My Aunt was like that and though I always had wanted to feel my cousins kicking I never once got to because my Aunt said she absolutely hated people always touching her. So I never asked if I could feel the babies because I knew she didn't want touched.
Emily looked at me with her kind eyes and signed, "I'm sorry to have put you through all this."
"You couldn't have known what would happen. It's okay. How was your vacation?"
"It's not okay. He could have hurt you or Jane."
"He could have hurt you and your baby too. You didn't know. The police will catch him and it will be over."
"I hope."
"Now, How was your trip?" I asked sitting down in a chair as Jane waved bye. "Wait where you going?"
"She's going back to Wolf Lake. I will be going tonight. I'll take you home. The police have said I can go home."
"Oh," I mouthed as I waved bye.
Emily touched her abdomen and a flash of an expression I'd never seen before on her face emerged, one of amazement. I had a feeling I knew what it was but waited to see if she'd tell me. "My trip was good. I needed to go away."
"Too much stress here."
"Yes, my job is not easy. My personal life is a train wreck. I needed time," she replied looking into my eyes.
"I understand. The things that have been happening to you are not easy any time: the pregnancy, Jack, the miscarriage, and the other baby. You really needed to have time to relax and find peace. I'm sorry you had to come home to this. You okay?"
"No, I need another vacation."
I smiled, "Where did you go?"
"Glacier National Park in Montana. I was there 7 nights," she answered.
"Sounds nice. You stay at a motel?" I asked really hoping she'd say yes but knew she'd say no.
"No, a tent. I'm a nature girl."
"I like the night, just not sure I want to sleep beneath the stars with nothing but canvas between me and whatever else is out there beneath the stars."
She laughed, "Something happened one night."
"What?" I asked a bit fearful.
"I felt the baby. I was lying outside the tent watching the stars. A meteor went across the sky. I was relaxed. I felt something. I wasn't sure at first but it happened again. I didn't know what it was and then I knew. It feels like butterflies. I cried. It's real now. I'm having a baby."
The tears flowed down my face for her. That moment when a woman feels life within her body for the first time is indescribable in the emotions that it brings: awe, bewilderment, fear and love. The reality sets in that a life, a part of you, is to be born and grow into a unique individual, the greatest miracle of them all. And the knowledge that you created that life is beyond words. I reached across the space between us and touched her abdomen, "Your miracle."
She smiled as a tear ran down her cheek as well, "Yes, my miracle."