The next morning I crawled out of the four-post bed that Emily had told me to sleep in as quietly as I could. I was quiet not because I feared waking Emily. She'd not have her hearing aid in so that wasn't it. I was quiet so not to disturb the dog, cat and ferret that had taken up the bed with me. They all raised their furry heads and looked at me as if to say, "How dare you disturb our slumber!" I laughed at them and went to the bathroom. The door was shut and the sounds coming from inside were of someone being violently ill. I decided I'd just forgo splashing water on my face and breakfast for that matter.
I had slept in a nightshirt that I kept handy in the trunk of my car. But after hearing that Emily was up I went ahead and dressed in spite of the bewildered beasties that still lounged on the bed. Then I went to the kitchen to see if she had any other teas that might soothe her stomach and mine too. I found some peppermint tea and put the kettle on to boil. The peppermint oil in the tea is good for calming upset stomachs. Then I fed her pets and let the ones who'd decided they didn't need to sleep any longer out the patio door where they took off to chase some squirrels that were gathered under the birdfeeders.
Emily's backyard, now that the sun was up and I could actually see it, was in full and glorious bloom. It was breathtaking. I've seen beautiful gardens in my life both in picture and in person and I must say Emily's backyard ranked right up there with the best of them. I almost felt I had stepped in to a botanical garden like the one in St Louis. It was amazing. I stood looking out at it and didn't hear Emily behind me. She tapped me on the shoulder and made me jump five feet into the air. Wonder if I'll ever get used to being tapped?
"Good Morning," I signed as I tried to catch my breath.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." She replied after also signing good morning.
"That's okay. I'm not use to being tapped. It always makes me jump," I answered setting the tea to seep. "Would you like some toast?" I had to fingerspell toast. I don't know the sign for it. I only know the sign for bread.
She shook her head no as she sipped at her tea. "Later," she signed once she set her cup down.
I looked at her face. It was a blue-black around her left eye and temple. Her lip was still swollen, as was her cheek. It looked painful. The doctor the night before had given her an ice pack for it. He claimed it would look and feel better in a few days. I wanted to slap him hard enough for his face to look like Emily's and see what he thought of it then. I shook off my anger at her doctor and replied, "Maybe now your Morning sickness will calm down." Instantly, I regretted what I had said as tears sprang to her eyes. "Sorry."
She smiled softly, "Yesterday, that wouldn't have hurt."
"I know. I shouldn't have said anything."
"It's true isn't it?" she asked fingering the rim of her teacup.
"Yes, It's true. Your hormone levels won't be as high. They are what cause morning sickness."
"Don't be sorry for saying the truth.
I'm not going to teach today. Jane is taking the class. I'll go to my doctor for the follow up appointment and then rest," she announced.
I couldn't blame her for taking the day off. I'd have done the same thing. "I see," I answered. Before I asked, "Emily, are you worried that Jack will come here again?"
"Yes, I'm going to go to a friends home for the day. You don't know her. I'll be fine."
"Okay. Can I ask you something?"
"Yes, not many secrets between us now," she signed looking into my eyes.
"I know it's not important in Deaf Culture but I've never lived in the deaf world. Is Jack deaf?"
"Yes, he's deaf. He wasn't born deaf. He got sick as a toddler and when he got well he didn't have any hearing."
"Not genetic then like yours?"
"No, his family is all hearing."
"That means the baby could be born hearing, right?"
She shook her head yes.
I left it at that. She'd tell me in due time if she wanted the baby to be born hearing or deaf. I picked up the teacups and placed them in the sink before turning back to face her, "I'm going to go to my apartment now. I will look for you tomorrow. If you need me before then call Relay or have Jane tell me after class."
"Okay, Thank you."
"You're Welcome Emily," I replied before going to the extra bedroom and gathering my belongings. Like a good girl, I even made the bed. I have never seen the point of doing that since the sheets would be ripped off and placed in the laundry immediately if not sooner but I obeyed my upbringing and did it anyway.
Driving to my apartment I thought about how useful Relay is to both hearing and the deaf. Thirty years ago is would have been almost impossible for a deaf person to call a hearing person on the telephone. The same could be said of a hearing person calling a deaf person. Then someone came up with Relay. Relay is a 3rd party phone service. A deaf person can dial Relay using their TTY and pass on messages to a Relay Operator who then verbally passes the message on to the hearing party that the deaf person wishes to communicate with. It works in the reverse when a hearing person wants to talk to a deaf person. Before my TTY got wiped out by lightening I was very grateful to have the service. I think every state has a relay service. I know the quick key number for it is 711. The long form would be listed in the phone book.
That afternoon I arrived late for class. But I wasn't the only one; Nancy the interpreter was also late so she didn't get a debriefing from Jane beforehand to know what had happened to Emily the night before. When I sat down the class was abuzz with trying to figure out where Emily was. Jane tried to dispel all the speculation by just saying Emily was sick but that didn't go far. No one that I heard came remotely close to the truth in their speculations. No one said well she must be pregnant or maybe had a miscarriage. It wasn't imaginable to them. The class, itself, probably didn't think of Emily as a sexual being, therefore, as far as they were concerned she was be celibate. I don't think either Nancy or Jane would have guessed the truth if they hadn't been told.
Emily wasn't the kind of woman to make a mistake. It just wasn't in character to the woman everyone knew. They wouldn't have thought that she'd abstain from taking or using some sort of pre-caution. But I think understand. Emily, even with her education, is just like millions of other women in her age bracket. More than likely she didn't take the steps to guard against a pregnancy because she thought she was too old to need to use them. There are a lot of ladies out there who simply don't know that as long as they have a period, no matter how irregular they are, that they are still ovulating and can get pregnant. Should Emily have gotten pregnant? Statistically speaking, no. The chances that a woman whose never had a prior pregnancy becoming pregnant after the age of 45 let alone 40 are astronomically high against it. But it isn't impossible.
Would Emily carry her baby to term and have a healthy baby? If you asked a professional such as an Obstetrician or a Reproductive Endocrinologist you'd be hit with very dismal and depressing numbers. Statistically, again, the chances of a good outcome were downright awful. I don't like statistics. I've seen too many times how wrong they can be and the reasons why they are wrong. So even though Emily lost one baby, I had hope that the other would be fine.
After class I went with Jane and Nancy to Jane's office where Nancy was filled in on Emily's miscarriage and the surviving twin. After she departed, in tears, I stayed in Jane's office because I wanted to talk to her.
Talking to Jane isn't always easy. She doesn't let it be easy. Jane won't let me fingerspell when I don't know the sign for a word. Thus I must think and think very hard at all times about what I want to say to her and how I want to say it. Basically, it takes advanced planning on my part to knowingly jump into a conversation with Jane. But it is her forcing of the use of ASL grammar and signs that makes her a good teacher. She makes you learn even if she darn near drives you nuts in the process. Luckily, she does allow written communication so if worse comes to worse I always can resort to that.
I nervously watched Jane tidy her desk. I wanted to ask her something I really had no business asking but it was something I am curious about in the deaf world. I hoped she didn't mind the question and would be willing to impart the answer to me. She finally finished with her desk and turned to me, "You need something?"
"I have a question? Can you tell me about adoption in the deaf community? Emily told me you have 5 adopted children. Last semester she told me of her friend, Ashley, that also has adopted children. Is it more common in the Deaf community to adopt? Why?"
Jane looked surprised, "Wow, where that come from?"
"Just curious."
"It's not more common to adopt in the deaf community than in the hearing. It's about equal. We tend to adopt deaf children the same as hearing tend to adopt hearing children. A deaf child raised in a deaf household offers the best environment for them. It is loving and nurturing to their specific needs. I adopted 5 deaf children because they needed a family and I thought I could provide for them better than the foster homes and orphanages."
"Okay. I shouldn't ask this but did you adopt deaf children instead of having a child of your own out of fear of having a hearing child?"
"No, that wasn't the reason. I'd love a child deaf or hearing. If given an option, yes, I'd prefer to mother a deaf child because it is what I know. But it wasn't why I adopted in the first place."
I smiled, "Thanks."
"You're welcome," she replied turning away from me signaling the end of our conversation.