The Den...

(Under perpetual construction- please bear with us)

The Honeybear Den...

Once upon a time a little bear had a wish for Christmas. This little bear had no arms, but he still believed in the essential goodness of people and the essential cuddliness of stuffies, so after all the presents had been opened and everyone seemed content to eat chocolate until they passed out, the little bear whispered his wish to his mommy Sarah, who promised to do everything she could to help. So Sarah told everyone that there was one more present to open.

She reached under her covers, and lo and behold, there were several more Armless Bears. And Sarah gave the first Armless Bear, who was green, to Helen, who adopted her right away. The next one, which was blue, went to Bina. Then, a slightly squished purple one went to Megan, and a yellow one with a gleam in its demented eye went to Miko. Finally, when it looked like Kristin had no one, a little Armless Bear who looked suspiciously like a snowman (maybe he was adopted) peeked out from under the covers and smiled. And the original Armless Bear, who was kind of a light brown and usually called Honeybear, was happy because his wish had come true. He had found homes for his whole family.

The Den of Sven...

That's the sweetness and light story of how the Den was formed. I mean, there was a Den before there was a Den of Honeybears, you know. It was the Den of Sven, and in it he was the absolute unwilling ruler. That story, in my opinion, is much more interesting ::evil cackle::.

It all started late one evening after the consumption of way too much chocolate...

"In the beginning, there was GnomeSec, and it was in charge. But the foolish humans did not know this, which suited GnomeSec just fine. Then one day, Mimi was told of the name of Sven, and she had a revelation amidst much cackling, and her revelation was that Sven was normally a name associated with tall, blond, and buff nordic men, rather that short, hairy gnomes.

"But before that, the following insanity, which is recorded, occurred:

"Megan sits down at Sarah's computer to compose a simple paper. For some odd reason, when she opens Word, the email system comes on instead. Seeing this as a sign from some god, she types in Bina's email address and begins to write...

"After completing a single mass letter to the sempai, the group sat back exhausted and attempted to recover their composure. Out of the blue, Miko asked who the god-like figure standing on Sarah's desk was. Sarah responded that he was a gnome named Sven. At this, Miko began to laugh uncontrollably. Megan recaptured the computer and began to write "a brief message".

"200 lines later, they had constructed Letter Two.

"When both times of insanity had seemed to end, everyone got busy doing their random things, and somehow along the way Mi decided that we should all bow down to Sven."

And so ended the saga of Sven for a time, but he remains on the shelf surveying his realm. Someday the world will feel his power... Yet even we, his (occasionally) devoted followers, (sometimes) wonder what his (probably useless) awesome power truly is. Maybe he can find my mind.

Many stuffies live in a nearby room and belong to the Stuffy Conspiracy. Of those mentioned on this page, Bjartur, Bob, and a snuff named Heimdall all belong, as well as others. So if you're one of those morbidly curious types who loves to hear about the inner lives of great crime figures, this is the place for you. I hope you have a strong stomach.

On with the countdown...

Armless Bears (aka Honeybears)

These are cuddly, adorable bears with only two real apendages which act as both arms and legs. They also have no necks, but that doesn't seem to bother them either. They come in all different colors, and they usually have special powers, such as the ability to learn Orgo better than a Bio major and the ability to fly upside down (though not always right-side up). Honeybears live in Dens, kind of like a bear's den, only Honeybears don't hibernate.

The six known members of the family, often called the Honeybear family, are Honeybear, Aozora, Bob, Smap, Pepper, and the snowman. Their colors are (respectively): brown, blue, purple, yellow, green, and white with a black hat. Each has their own personality: Honeybear is patient and good at studying, Aozora is inscrutable, Bob is a stoic, Smap insists on forming an authoritarian dictatorship, Pepper loves to fly and doesn't really know what's going on but that's okay, and the snowman, well, we don't know. We haven't heard much from him in a while.

Snuffles

The cutest bears in existence, these creatures have a variety of expressions and gestural abilities, including nodding, questioning, hugging, laughing, and bopping people on the head with red balloons. There are several families in existance, and they come in colors ranging from dark brown to white, then blue, pink, and yellow. They are curious and lovable creatures that should never be allowed near a camera if you want to have any film left. They make excellent entertainment on Friday nights.

The snuffles in the den are: Freja (Mama-bear), white twins Nana and Sif (the mischevious ones), light brown Braggi (the poet and harp-lover), and brown Stjarna (the dancer and guitar-lover). Yes, the names are all strongly associated with Nordic mythology, except for Stjarna, whose name means "Star" (pronounce "j" like "y").

Gnomes

Gnomes are made by Bina as spies to keep an eye on her friends. So far, there are four in the family: the first gnome of all, the mighty (and slightly damaged) Gisli (Bina's) who keeps track of everyone else, the second gnome of all, the original Sven (Sarah's), who is now worshipped as a god; Bjartur, his cousin with parti-colored hair denoting insanity; and Shinsengumi-colored Bjorn (Mimi's), so named to confuse people because of the number of Bjorns (plus variants) in Bina's family.

The collection of Gnomes is often called (out of their hearing, of course) GnomeSec, that fearsome intelligence agency that knows everything about everyone. It is headed by the slightly scarred Gisli, with his personal assistant and younger brother Sven acting as second in command. They pretend not to exist, but no one is fooled. You might as well say that ImpSec doesn't exist, or that there are no aliens and even if there were, the government knows nothing about them.

Legend has it that the Gnome always reports to the person who named him. If so, then that confirms our suspicions about their role as spies. Legend also says that Sven will one day lead his people to glory... oh, wait, he doesn't want to. Okay. Maybe later.

The Flock

Also residing in the Den are nearly a dozen birds of different sorts. They range from the placid gosling Zeke, whose only goal in life is to learn to fly, to the extremely volatile PEEP!, who protects the entire Den single-chickedly.

My personal best friend is Hoohoo, whose mother calls him Hootie, but do we care? No. He is a small, round stuffed owl, gray and white, and very exciteable. He giggles insanely, in "hoo"s. In fact, "hoo" is all he says, which is why his name is Hoohoo. He bounces nicely.

Stanley and Olivia... and Glubglub

Now in their very own sitcom, Stanley the starfish and Olivia the Pentapus (five tentacles, so not an octopus) go on exotic vacations, have dramatic moments in their condominium, and share their lives with Glubglub, their rather unsophisticated fish friend. The series debut, "A Pentapus's Garden", made a big splash in trans-oceanic programming. A movie deal is rumored to be in the works.

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Adventures...

Soon, we hope to finally write the picture-book adventures of PEEP! in Boston. But since the star is in one place, the city in another, one-half the writer in yet a third, and the producer in Hong Kong, we have decided to wait a couple of months. I'm sure you understand (if you don't, PEEP! will come and get you. Mimi is his good friend and he doesn't want you pressuring her into anything, got it? Good.)

To tide you over, here's some "best of GnomeSecSec" pics and stories, mostly taken by me, all written by me, and therefore extremely biased toward situations that didn't embarass me- but then, I'm hard to embarass. Objections can be filed with Gisli, who will promply ignore them, I'm sure, since he just recently realized he could get real live reports from the others while they were in distant lands without resorting to his spies. Isn't it nice when humans are dumb?

Grad pics, for those who couldn't get them over email, are up at the url I emailed you. I won't put most of those here.

Without further ado, let us begin:

• Best of GnomeSec. Nothing but those perfect shots every photographer dreams of. Safe enough to show your parents, your s.o., even your boss. If you object to any of these, you're insane, but you can still ask me to take them down, just like all the rest ^_^;
  
  
• The interdimensional portal to the IHOP (thanks for the help, K-chan!)
  
  
• Our ill-fated attempt to learn to ski (includes pics)
  
  

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This page owned by: Raven
(Controlled by GnomeSec c/o Bjartur)
Questions? Comments? Smart Remarks?
Email me at meikundayo@yahoo.com
Last Updated: July 13, 1999

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Disclaimer: Copyrights on lines of stuffed animals and on the names of those lines belong to the producing company or somebody else other than me. Any owner objecting to the use of their product's name on this page should email me and the material will be removed immediately. This page is for the amusement of the general population. No infringement is intended.

Second Disclaimer: Sven and Gisli wish to inform the general population that they have no connection to any spy rings or other such nefarious activities, and all rumors to that effect are solely intended to make their lives miserable. This shall soon be dealt with.