Scene: CBR's Lecture Hall (next to the chatroom, past Comics 2 Film on the right, you can't miss it). Jack Tango has just crumpled over, clutching his throat.

Wolvie's Girlfriend: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *rushes over to Jack's prone form* I . . . I . . . think he's dead!

Jack Tango: *choking noises*

Wolvie's Girlfriend: Um . . . okay, he's not dead. But he's been poisoned!

Papergirl: TREASON!

Jack's Cultists: *general panic and chaos*

Demonicuss: Jack gone . . . Urge to Rumble rising . . .

Plan 9: No . . . No . . . He's not dead . . . He's a cartoon! Cartoons can't die!

Papergirl: *sobbing* Too late . . . too late . . .

Pulse: Oook! *chuckles*

Wolvie's Girlfriend: Don't just stand around, you buncha losers! Go get help!

Golden Lion: *having just walked in to see what all the commotion was about* I'll go get a Moderator!

Z-Mage: Hey! You're not a member of Jack's Cult!

Stony: Yeah! He gave me this blue armband thing while I was walkin' in and told me to be nice to people. I bet he was trying to start his own cult!

Golden Lion: No, honestly, I was just trying to get people to be nice to each other.

Slick: His own cult? Maybe he killed Jack Tango!

Jack's Cultists: Get him! *and various other sayings to that effect*

Mac Danny: Ban him!

Golden Lion: Eeeek! *runs for the door*

Conn Seanery: *draws Moderator gun* Hold it. *points it at crowd, stopping them dead* Nobody's banning anybody. Yet. We'll find out exactly what happened to Jack Tango, and then we'll ban someone. Sir Tim?

Sir Tim Drake: Yes, sir?

Conn Seanery: I'm taking Golden Lion into protective custody. Take him downtown. Greg Hatcher?

Greg Hatcher: Hmm?

Conn Seanery: Find out what happened here. As fast as humanly possible. And someone get Tango to a hospital.

****

Scene: CBR, 1st Precinct. Greg Hatcher and Sir Tim Drake sit outside "The Box," taking a break from questioning Golden Lion.

Greg Hatcher: You know, Sir Tim, I don't think this Good Cop/Good Cop thing is working.

Sir Tim Drake: Huh? But I thought I was the Bad Cop?

Greg Hatcher: Bad Cop? I thought you were being Good Cop. You kept giving him tissues.

Sir Tim Drake: But they didn't have aloe in them! His eyes are going to get all red and puffy.

Greg Hatcher: You gave him a cupcake!

Sir Tim Drake: It was store bought. Loaded with preservatives.

Greg Hatcher: *sigh* Never mind. Why don't you call the lab and see if they've found anything.

Sir Tim Drake: Will do!

As Sir Tim exits, Sir Karl walks in with Loren.

Sir Karl: Greg?

Greg Hatcher: What is it?

Sir Karl: Loren's here. He claims he's Golden Lion's lawyer.

Loren: That's right. And I'll have to insist that you refrain from talking to my client until I've had the chance to confer with him. But first things first. Is he being charged with anything?

Greg Hatcher: No, but . . .

Loren: Good to hear. Now if you'll excuse me . . . *opens the door, walks into "The Box" and sits down at the table* Don't worry, GL. We'll get you out of here as soon as possible. Greg, could you close the door? Thanks.

Greg Hatcher: Sure thing. *closes door* So Sir Karl, you talked to the other witnesses?

Sir Karl: Mmm hmm. Most of them agree on the details. Papergirl ran in screaming. Tango took a drink, then fell off his podium. The cultists started panicking and started to blame the kid in there.

Greg Hatcher: Did anyone see who tampered with Tango's drink?

Sir Karl: Nope. Several people recall seeing a man in black loitering around the lecture hall, but no one can give an accurate description. Bright Raven claims it was a conspiracy, Wolvie's Girlfriend says that the ghost of Steve Pitts did it, Jade Dragon and fly are blaming each other, Pulse and Beldar have disappeared, and Papergirl keeps wandering around asking everyone how they're doing. All the rest are blaming Golden Lion.

Greg Hatcher: Hmmm. Issue a statement to the effect that we believe Golden Lion to be innocent. See if you can calm down the cultists. I'll be in my office.

Sir Karl: Yes, sir.

****

Scene: The crime scene. CBR CSI (Expletive Deleted, Roquefort Raider, and Fenris) are examining the scene, roped off with police tape.

Roquefort Raider: I'll head back to the lab with the sample of the poison. You guys finish up here. *exits*

Expletive Deleted: All right. I'm almost done dusting for prints. Got some nice crisp ones off Tango's cup. You find anything yet Fenris?

Fenris: *sniffing at the ground* You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say Jack Tango was never here. I can't smell him anywhere.

Expletive Deleted: Really? Then who was poisoned?

Fenris: Call me crazy, but I think it might have been *dramatic pause* Johnny DC!

Expletive Deleted: Uh . . . who?

****

Scene: Jack Tango's hospital room.

Jack Tango: *comatose* . . .

****

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