Upstairs in the Moderator's control booth, OzBat snapped awake as his feet slipped off the main control panel, knocking over a cold cup of coffee. Jumping up into a floating position, the fifth-dimensional imp took a few seconds to remember where he was, as well as the fact that there was no actual danger from the coffee spill - Jonah had done exactly the same thing last week, wiping out a few of the boards, and now that section of the control panel was now completely shorted out.

Sighing with relief, Ozzie wondered what had woken him up. Snippets of conversation sifted through corner ceiling speakers, and then he heard it again;

"Swearing! On the NEB? Ha!" The Conn Protocols might not be as fully enabled as they were on the Community Board, but the NEB had its own ways of dealing with things... "Going Grendel on your ASS!!" had its own sinister connotations there, where it had originated.

The imp drifted across to the dark observation window and peered out at those milling about below. "Fictional characters tearing the joint up, posters changing their cover, backstabbing and intrigues... the usual!"

All in all, a fairly normal day at CBR. He was gonna haveta deal with these swearers, though. Death, dismemberment, doom and destruction were all very well and good, but KIDDIES read these boards occasionally! Gotta watch that foul language...

On his way to the door, OzBat checked his reflection in the full length mirror. He only needed a quarter of it. He drew himself up to his full height of 2 foot tall, adjusted the lapels of his nifty new purple pin-striped suit, straightened his WWII leather airman's helmet and goggles, and made sure his big black velvet-lined "dracula" cape wasn't caught up in anything.

It was a big step up from his old handmade "Bat-Mite" suit. Rather snazzy, if he did say so himself! And he'd solved the problem of keeping the 'bat' motiff in his name alive. Since virtually all of his former group and original CBR members the Pantheon had moved on, he'd been feeling the need to reinvent himself slightly.

The thought brought on a sudden wave of melancholy. The corridor outside the moderators booth leading to the stairs was lined with portraits of former moderators, which only deepened the mood. Then, something caught the mite's eye. It was a portrait of himself!! The melancholy mutated into a full blown deja vu panic attack, until Ozzie realised the picture was from his late, lamented Astro City board days. With a click of his fingers, he banished the mutant into the phantom zone.

"Does this mean this time 'round as a moderator is like a... Second Coming??"

OzBat brightened up considerably.

"Nah! That's the kind of stuff that cults are made of! Hee Hee!"

With a resounding *BAMF*! and a puff of black smoke and displaced air, OzBat the fifth-dimensional imp and natty dresser (his big black cape dragged along behind him in midair like Linus' blanket) popped into the air down in the lecture hall. And directly into the path of Jade Dragon's thermal assault.

"HEY!"

The charred black mess that was OzBat opened great big white cartoon eyes and glared at JD, before sidestepping out of his own ashes and revealing himself to be unhurt.

"dang!" muttered JD. "smelled like fried chicken!"

Ozzie ignored the quip. "RIGHT YOU LOT! I wanna know who's running around SWEARING on the NEB! I'm gonna GRENDALISE 'EM!"

Gasps filled the air from several onlookers. "he's kidding, right?" "can he do that?" "who's Grendel?" "shhhh! don't p!$$ the old guys off! You'll make 'em even grumpier!!"

"Umm.. OzBat?" Slick intervened. "Aren't you forgetting something?"

The two fictional combatants Z-Mage and DeMonStar leered as they applied standover tactics on the imp.

"well, Goog it!" muttered Oz.

"Hey, He Swore!" squealed a bystander.

"nonono, it's one of those Fictional swear words, just like 'Feetal's Gizz' and @$#%!! in the comic books! It's okay!" replied Jade Dragon.

"Well, THAT makes me feel SOOOOO much better!!" grimaced Slick.

"Oh, don't worry about these guys!" grinned OzBat in the faces of his standover men. "They're FICTIONAL! You're forgetting who moderates the fiction board! All we need now is a fictional portal to some fictional Limbo somewhere and they're taken care of!"

Z-Mage and DeMonStar looked at each other confusedly.

"So, ummm... who wrote these guys up? Anybody? Anybody? Beuller?"

Lots of blank faces looked back at the imp.

"Guys?"

Z-Mage and DeMonStar grinned at each other menacingly.

"I really need their creator working with me here..."

Z-Mage and DeMonStar each lifted huge fists above their heads, flexing pecs and deltoids and bandaids threateningly. OzBat looked up just as the shadow crossed his line of vision...

"mommy!"

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